And To All A Good Meal

And to all a good nap!

This is my wonderful friend and coworker, C, who invited me to spend the earlier part of Thanksgiving Day with her and her family (18 of 'em and that's not all of them). That's baby G in the pink. No really funny stories, but lots of good cheer, laughter, and a homey atmosphere. At her house there was a plethora of food and complicated family tree relatives. Everyone brought a dish, I was in charge of the corn. I didn't have any left over to take home, whew! We munched on: crackers, cheese, chips, dip, shrimp, cheese ball, hummus, turkey, ham, rolls, bread, peas, corn, onion casserole, sweet potato casserole, candied yams, baked sweet potatos, mashed potatos, in-the-bird stuffing, non-bird stuffing, Kielbasa (for a relative that doesn't eat either ham or turkey), gravy, cranberry sauce, spiced carrots, and two other cassroles I never got the name of. For dessert there was: pecan pie, pumpkin pie, coconut creme pie, chocolate creme pie, red Jello, brownies, choc chip cookies, pumpkin cookies, sugar cookies, and candy. I tell ya, I'm sooo glad I had little bits of everything because then at 5pm I went to my parents Thanksgiving dinner and had this pictured below (well, that's actually my dad's plate pictured, I had very small helpings of everything).

Dad's plate o' food.

Dad who can't wait to dig in. See he considers the entire month of November his b-day, so he eats turkey and the fixings at least 6-7 times throughout the month. Poor mom!

And here is the very svelte turkey-makin' Mom having a toot of wine. You go girl!

Me digging into my second Tday dinner!

Hobbes having half of the turkey's "oyster". Mom, he loved it and snarfed it down in a matter of seconds!

Doodle took a bit longer as she divided her attention between her regular dry and the other half of the "oyster".

Mr. Moomin is on a special diet so no turkey for him. He didn't mind, he was very excited to have a later-than-usual dinner.

And how can we forget Riley who "stayed" on his puff the entire dinner and was randomly rewarded with cheese. If you look closely, you should be able to see the cheese right before it goes into his mouth. Nice shot don't ya think? Dad and I worked hard to get this one. Damn flash delay!

Be Thankful You Aren't Being Served This for Thnxgiving Dinner

Who in their right mind would want to eat something that not only looks supremely unappetizing but may induce violent bathroom going?

Where I come from, celery is green.

This one is here just on the principle I don't eat mouth parts.

This one's "lovely and inviting to the tummy" color earned it a spot on my list. And it's molding.

The intense plumpness and pinkness is just disturbing.

The first dish on the list that resembles baby poop. And made out of liver no less.

Ham should be in typical "ham" form or in deli slices or bacon, never a ring!

I'm betting the surprise is the Pepto-Bismal pink sauce...

The color alone gets MY tastebuds all a-quiver, in a pre-vomit sort of way.

Tomatos are best in their natural state, at least in their natural state they don't resemble congealed blood in an unappetizing mold form decorated with olives.

This one is wrong on so many levels. It's still got eyes for Goodness Sakes! And that's the least of the wrongness!

The second dish that looks like baby poop, or rather, diarrhea. I thought sweet potatoes were orange.

This one looks like preserved vomit.

This one doesn't have a recipe but I had to show it simply for the encased floating shrimp combined with the lime green color. Stomach turning.

It's a little hard to tell, but these eggs are englobed in clear gelatin or aspic. As are the decorations on the eggs. Just makes you want to POP one into your mouth!

And my all time favorite... vomit suspended in a clear gelatin mold.

Project Runway in Nutshell #2

Boy Howdy and knit me some britches...

Show started with the "model pick". Everyone stayed with their original model except for Ricky aka Catboy who shamelessly gloated while he stole Elisa's model.

Challenge: design an outfit for a pop-culture fashion icon which turned out to be Sarah Jessica Parker and her "Bitten" line of "high end American sportswear for less". Designers had 30 minutes to brainwave a design and then pitch it to SJP so she could pick team leaders. I could tell right away that all the "boys" have had regular tranfusions of "Sex and the City".

Design stipulations: material budget only $15, had to be for the Fall/Winter line, and consist of 2 pieces. Winning design will be in the line and sold in some Something or Other store that definitely is not in Maine. Chris' comment on the budget - "toilet paper and Scotch tape". He's actually quite funny.

Slambo observation: Does anyone else think Christian's hair resembles a dry toilet swirlie?

Ricky cried.

Team leaders + picked team member:
1) Ramy + Jillian
2) Ricky + Jack
3) Marion + Steve (he thought it would be a calming experience)
4) Victorya + Kevin
5) Kit + Chris
6) Christian + Carmen
7) Elisa + Sweet P (Elisa said she wanted P from the get-go and P was horrified she was paired up with Crunchy Granola Goofy Goodness)

Togetherness in the form of shopping, forming, fitting, and sewing...

Elisa treated Sweet P to a barrage of "high end" vocabulary and inducted her into the secrets of "spit marking" which not only lets you know your hand measurements but also imbues the fabric with your energy. P was appalled and spent some time trying to bring Elisa "onto Planet Earth where we use tools". I'm not going to pretend I think Elisa is all there, but I will give her credit for being one damn fast hand sewer and for all the "in touch" futzing with the fabric, she does make something that is far more polished than the more structured designers.

Ricky cried YET again.

The next morning, Tim advised everyone "to knock SJP's stockings off."

In the Tresseme Hair Salon, Christian was giving the hair people tips - What's wrong with that picture?!

Slambo's Runway impressions: Ramy's and Kit's designs, I have no recollection of them. Ricky's was lipstick in motion. Christian's looked like a motorcycle jacket over a teal body stocking. Marion's looked like shredded wheat. Elisa's dress looked modern and the cape was kicky. Victorya - well, she designed a nice black garbage bag.

Judges' impressions and mis-impressions: They were so on when they said Christian's was 80's retro and all he needed was the big butt and big earrings. Also spot on was when Michael called Marion's design "Cousin It", Heidi said it was "a dirty basement rag", and they all agreed it was the incredible growing sweater with the bra-showing arm holes. I thought the judges were so far off base when they praised Victorya's trash bag inspired dress. I could barely see the teeny tiny vest lost in all the voluminousness of the glorified garbage bagginess.

Winner: Victorya (I guess this means garbage bags are the new trend. Girls, grab your scissors and your wide belts, and don't forget a child-sized vest!)

Auf: Marion

UFO buffs get ready because Elisa said she was "coming to 'your' planet but with her own gifts". Better rush outside with your camera and umbrella to catch a glimpse of a brightly flying designer emitting spittle.

A Typical Day in the Life

I wake up.

I shower.

I feed cats then watch them while simultaneously fixing my homemade-take-to-office breakfast and lunch.

I get dressed.

I scoop poopNpee.

I go to work.

I paint the Thankgiving Boxes for which I've organized an office food drive to fill.

I get red acrylic paint on my nice striped Eddie Bauer button shirt.

I frantically wash red spot to get it off and manage fairly well.

I finish boxes and try to get some documenting done.

I go to a meeting at our local library (coz I'm all about making certain library employees uncomfortable whenever I can - Linda says "hi" to you by way, Mom, I think it's Linda - short/wavy bobbish shoulder length dark hair/kinda plump/glasses).

I meet.

I end meeting and go to car.

I discover I left my lights on for the duration of the meeting and have drained my car battery dry.

I have a minor mental shit fit coz I'm on the clock and am a community role model (the golden side of the coin, there's an easily accessible phone very nearby).

I discover there is not a person that parked after me that told anyone at the front desk that my lights were on so they could announce it over the PA system to help a fellow clueless human being out (I would have SO made sure to let a front desk person know someone left their lights on and have done so quite a few times. Apparently my Carma isn't working.)

I come back into library and call AAA which takes 15 minutes to take down my info (believe me, I watched the clock as I had another meeting to get to and needed help FAST) and the lady who was helping me was not happy I did not own a cell phone and couldn't wait by the library phone (well, I needed to be by my car which was out in the back parking lot so the JumpStart AAA person could get to the battery in a timely manner coz God Forbid anyone should let me know they were there!).

I wait for AAA under my umbrella.

They come, they jump start, they advise 20 minutes of driving or leaving the car running, they leave.

I leave and drive for 20 minutes.

I get to the office and get the next meeting's materials.

I go to another town's library.

I meet.

I come home to cat vomit in the spare room.

I clean it up.

I feed the cats.

I watch them while simultaneously changing out of work clothes into pre-bedtime clothes.

I make and eat dinner.

I watch last week's Supernatural and set VCR timer to record today's Supernatural so I can watch Grey's Anatomy.

I go to bed so I can get up VERY early tomorrow to organize Thanksgiving baskets and go shopping at Wal-Mart to fill in the gaps and then drop the baskets off to the respective families in need which will result in an altruistic glow for rest of the day.

Project Runway in Nutshell #1

Hey, this is going to be down and dirty coz I'm very tired from an extremely long day at work.

Warning: Non-PC first impressions that will most definitely be unsuitable to people who have no sense of humor. Impressions subject to change as show goes on...

The Girls (in no particular order):

Old Biker Chick named Sweet P (who also has a tattoo of a "mean P" - whatever that is).

Sin City Rosario Dawson Wannabe named Carmen

Yoga Doing Weed Visionary Crunchy Granola Extraordinaire named Elisa (who besmirched expensive fabric by grinding into the grass to bring on the essential earthiness of being into her work while Tim looked on in stunned disbelief)

Jeff-from-last-season Wannabe or Jeff's MiniMe named Kit aka Pistol (right)

Smart Asian Girl Who Takes No Crap From Anyone named Victorya (with a Y no less)

Bitchy Jumper Wearing Girl named Jillian (who is apparently channeling Angela's bubble skirtedness - not a good thing)

Blah-blah-blah Bland Girl (I could not find anything about her other than her name) named Simone

The Boys (and boy, are they "boys"):

Emotional YMCA Singer Dressed in the Cop Outfit who Designs Lingerie named Ricky (what else?)

Uptight Urkel with French Stewart Facial Expressions named Steven (another architect)

Little Rascals Flower Designer named Marion (I'm tired of the hats already)

Right Said Fred's So Not Sexy Wannabe named Ramy (what's with the low cut tanks - eeuww)

Flaming Fat Boy Who Can't Run to Save His Life Much Less Race for Fabric named Chris

Physical Fitness Boxer Brief Boy named Jack (who apparently thinks this show is a Match.com with the shirtless/boxer action he's giving)

Backstreet Boys Joey Fatone LookALike named Kevin (hey there was a Backstreet Boy named Kevin but so not this guy)

and the Folically-Challenged Vertically Challenged Condenscending Effeminate Beeyotch Boy named Christian who is my least favorite.

"She's a little strange." so says the pot named Christian calling the kettle named Elisa black.

Challenge: to create a signature piece using the tent fabrics or "Don't Go Into the Fear Box" (I can't remember who said that but it sums up the challenge nicely).

Elisa finishes her dress before the deadline and takes a snooze.

Top Three:

Christian with his ugly little jacket and pleated skirt ensemble - he was told he was quirky, designed a good silhouette (sp?), edgy, and his design was "growing on" the guest judge (a good design shouldn't have to "grow on" you - ugh).

Ramy with his drapey dress - he was told his design was chic, beautiful, sophisticated, but the shoulder flower was not the best accent he could have gone with (matronly was what MK said "but he knows how to drape fabric").

Victorya with this black dress that so did not register on MY radar other than the big silver bird plop right above the model's booby - she was told her design was flirty and the silver was a nice touch.

Bottom Three:

Simone with her blah blah blah dress with unmatching jacket - she was told she had poor construction, her elements did not go together and her model looked like she got dressed in the dark, her design was boring, and there was "no WOW factor". I had a feeling from the beginning of the show she wasn't going to be star material.

Ricky with his baby doll dress (how is that fashion forward?) - he was told he was playing it too safe. He's a lingerie designer for goodness sakes, isn't it his job to stop traffic?

Elisa with her aqua blue dress which looked like some drunk designer had ingested too much fabric and vomited scraps all over the back of the dress, I believe Heidi's comment was it looked like the model "was pooing fabric". Pooing fabric, I like that but I have no idea what conversation I'm going to fit that into.

Winner: Ramy
Out: Simone (I knew it!)

Sorry it's not a super witty post, but I'm out of PRactice and tired. Hopefully I will be more "on" next time.

Bloggin' Plans...

I plan on nutshelling Project Runway.

I plan on sharing some 1974 recipe cards with pictures that are not only a hoot and a half, but nausea-inducing as well.

I plan on trying and sharing black n white photo experiments.

I plan on having a Christmas contest where you the readers may have a chance to win some of my wonderfully delightful and addicting Christmas candy.

I plan on sharing a possible holiday project if I ever get my ass in gear which should be soon as TV will be entering ReRunCity after this week (holidays, humbug, now I have to wait until JANUARY for Prison Break! And who knows what will happen with the writers' strike) and I will have PLENTY of time to work on a project damnit, well except at 10pm on Wed for PR of course.

and I plan on continuing to blather like an idiot about all and sundry.

Now This Is Pure Birthday Joy

My pseudonephew's 3rd birthday. You gotta love the zest with which he ate the multi-colored but mainly blue frosted Thomas the Tank Engine bday cake and Fully Loaded Edy's ice-cream!

Much Ado About Nothing Day

1) I crawl out of bed this morning at 5:30am so I can be ready for Pee Sample Patrol. I'm no where near "awake" at that time in the morning and catching a urine sample at the asscrack of dawn is definitely a challenge of major proportions. But because I missed the damn window of opportunity yesterday, I was bound and determined to have Moomin pee in a bowl today. And you know what he did? Based on past history, your answer would be that he peed on demand. Oh no, he did NOT comply with giving me his pee! He stretched, yawned, sniffed his litter, jumped on Doodle, ate his breakfast, played a fast game of Octopus and CatTree, zoomed between windows to watch birds and squirrels get blown about by the very strong wind and rain, more jumping and chomping of other cats, some random cat box visiting to raise owner's lagging hopes, and love festing said tired and pissed off owner. Then when I've completely given up and taken a shower and am in the process of brushing my teeth, Moomin decides he's going to dig to China. "Hooray, it's about time" I'm thinking as I brush teeth, grab bowl, and position myself in all my urine catching readiness. And what do I get for three and a half hours of waiting? A POOP sample. POOP... God bless it!

2) I get to work late, meaning I've gotta stay there until 6pm and it's VERY dark by that time. UGH. And rainy, more UGH!

3) All day I am linguistically challenged. My emails make no sense, I have to retype everything because I can't spell or be grammatically correct for the life of me. It does make for some very interesting moments though.

4) I learn from a co-worker (who went to take her old medications to a local hospital that was having one of their Bring in Your Old Medications Day, to encourage not flushing expired/no longer using meds down the toilet or sink) that in some town reservoirs there is a therapeutic level of medication in the water. Therapeutic level. Therapeutic for whom? And people wonder why there are rising rates of all sorts of fuckedupedness going on with humans in today's world.

5) I'm getting all creative in the kitchen. This weekend I made a Mexican Casserole from a recipe in my head that just needs minor changes the next time I make it - like the cheese will go on top of the tomato/bean/carrot mix instead of being directly on the top. Don't get me wrong. I love brown cheese, but Mexican Casseroles need melty cheese as well. I made Twice Baked Mashed Potatos tonight using my twice baked potato recipe. It's such a pain in the ass (and takes so freakin' long) to bake the potatos and cut them in half and scoop out their guts and then mix with the other ingredients, that I just short cutted the whole process by using little red potatos, boiled them up, mashed them up with the cream chz, mixed the red+orange+yellow pepper/green onions/bacon bits, dumped it in a casserole dish, and baked the whole damn thing until the potato white horses on top became golden brown. I figured out the calories by dividing by 10 servings and a serving is 302 calories. Yes! will go well with steamed yellow cauliflower on the side for dinner. This will balance out the 502 calorie serving of Mexican Casserole for lunches.

6) I still cannot access the $14.99 deal for Verizon DSL. Starting to get irritated. I guess I'm going to have to call the number provided. Fat lot of good that will do. I was told talking to a real person is NOT going to get me that deal. I may have to pull the super sweet bitch card and pray I don't get outsourced to India.

7) Now let's see. That makes 5 different swear words in one post. Ooooh, this will make my mother wish she had a bar of soap and wonder exactly what she and Dad paid for for my college eddication!

BackYard Wildlife - Fall Version

I thought I would take another spider picture and I found that when I cropped and enlarged it afterwards, you can see the light reflecting off the spider's eyes and all his (or her) fuzzy bits. Click to see bigger and you'll see why I'm so impressed with my camera, not to mention my picture taking abilities, ahem...

This little critter-dude came by only to fill up his cheeks. He made many trips and then disappeared for the day.


This critter, on the other hand, comes every damn day and stuffs his tummy full of sunflower seeds.

This would be a more vivid picture but all the yellow finches have turned brown in prep for winter coming. Usually there is some squabbling as to who's turn on which perch.

And finally the Masked Bandit Threesome. They actually pulled one of the feeders down so hard it boomeranged the hook off the porch and out into the yard. I really haven't seen them since.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

I wore a skeleton costume to work today - big black mock turtleneck and black leggings with white bones painted on them. I whipped this costume up when I was a preschool teacher coz I needed something comfortable enough to work with kiddos, that could take a beating or a boogering, and didn't scare the bajeezus out of 'em. But I had to leave early coz I was basically a biohazardous skeleton. Filling the Kleenex continues as we speak...

I plundered my pumpkins this evening. I scooped guts to get the seeds, turned on the oven to pre-heat, and buttered/salted the seeds (after some major OCD washing of them) on a cookie tray. Opening the oven, I discovered I had forgotten the leftover bread I'd made and stored in the oven so the cats didn't rip thru the plastic. Yeah, I'm so smart. Now you know why I'm not interested in having children - I'm going to end the world someday and I don't want to be responsible for killing my own offspring. I melted the plastic bag nicely onto the rack and snugly around the pan. Let's just say a disaster of major proportions was VERY narrowly averted... but the seeds got in safely and were baked to purr-fection.

I carved my pumpkins this year instead of just chopping them up and putting them in the compost for the backyard wildlife. I'll do that tomorrow. I had lots of compliments on the cat pumpkin.

I had 30 trick or treaters, same as last year, but more bigger kids/college kids (all in fancy costumes, I'll give them credit for that) than last year. Damn town Rec Center party! I miss seeing the little ones staggering up my steps in some super-detailed creation their over-achieving parents stuffed them into.

Enjoy the witching hour!

BoogerFest 2007

I have a cold, damnit.

I guess it didn't matter that I changed from all natural high fructose orange juice to V8 Fusion.

My body has surrendered to germ warfare and now I'm creating piles of wet juicy tissues full of brave little white blood cells at every nesting location in my house.

I didn't think I was sick while I was at work today, I thought it was an intense allergy session due to high winds and wet leaves. But while watching abysmal TV tonight, I've come to the realization that I do indeed have a cold and I will need to take biohazard measures with all the tissues in my wastebasket at work.

So I guess this means I'm going to spend Halloween handing out not only candy treats but each child will also be getting a germified trick. Misery loves company!

On a less germy note... Project Runway starts Nov 14. I'm looking forward to doing my Nutshells again.

Oh, and I completed a recent project... I made this for one of my very good friends, K, in celebration of her Oct birthday and her father who she lost to pancreatic cancer in 2004. I attended his memorial service and K handed out to each person a package of Mammoth Sunflower seeds that had a little typed-up memory attached to each one. I kept the package, the typed memory, the bandana that was also handed out, and took pictures at each stage of the sunflowers' (from the package she gave us) growth this summer. Then I printed off the pictures in three different sizes so I could play around to find the best configuration. The frame is from Target and has three layers of glass but I could only do two layers as the top glass is the protective layer. I added a friendship touch (the Mary Engelbreit sticker to the right) and dated the pictures. I like to think the sunflower is K and the bumblebee is her dad zooming in for a visit. She was very touched and told me it was one of the best presents she's ever received. It's one of the projects I feel extremely proud of and it's also amongst the few where the reality matches the vision in my head.

Thanks to Verizon McHottiePants...

I am now up and running on the Internet at home. It's been a Murphy's Law filled experience. I get my package right away and "Easy as 1-2-3", my ass. I did everything the CD said to do, not once, not twice, but 4 times and then the CD told me I needed to call for assistance, which I did, which involved an hour long phone trip, on a connection that only let me hear every third word, to India, to be put on hold many times by "Sherwin" (who picks that as their "typical American" name?), to learn that a Verizon tech cannot be pinned down to a certain time to come out and check that my phone lines are DSL compatible and there is a slight, "slight" possibility that my computer may not be able to support DSL.

I have to give "kudos" to the Verizon guy that managed to come out after work Friday and help me thru the dreck, let me know exactly what my computer needed to be dragged kicking and screamingly up-to-date (an Ethernet card which is apparently the "super highway for computers to access the Internet where the USB is the backroads with many offshoots"), and arranged to come back today to insert said Ethernet card and get my computer all booted up and Internet ready. WHEEE!

Now my next adventure is to change from the $19.99 offer to the $14.99 that is only offered via the Internet. The reason for the pricing difference? Get this... It's because I spoke with a real person who signed me up. Apparently even tho I only talked to the signer-upper once, I get punished for wanting to do business with a real person. I think the voice recognition program also registers stress because I got connected to a "representative" quite quickly once I got majorly irritated.

But it's done and I'm aboard again...

Now I just need a mouse with a scrolly thing.

(Bee)ye (Bee)ye for a While...

I will be off the air for an indefinite period of time. Gotta research hosts to get online at home. May take awhile. Until then, here's a most awesome bee picture! I got totally lucky!

10 Things That Make Me Realize Life Is Good

1) Having my cats on my lap, all snug and curled up. This just makes me feel loved and all’s right in my world (and their’s).

2) Not having to get up when my alarm clock goes off. I love being able to turn it off, roll over and go back to Snoozeville for a couple hours, especially when three furry kids are heaped up on and around me so that it’s a great big warm Cuddlefest. This morning before the alarm went off, there were a lot of sneak attacks, ambushes, hissing, snarling, and fighting going on but when my alarm went off, every furry kiddo was curled up on or beside me, so I stayed in bed for an extra half hour to enjoy the warm kittiness.

3) Being in a bookstore and browsing the shelves. I can so lose track of time and the outside world.

4) Finding a new book by one of my favorite authors. Total book glow!

5) Cooking a new recipe that has all (or most) of my favorite ingredients and being able to eat as much of it as I want.

6) Making my Christmas candy. I work with crushed cookies/cream cheese/melted chocolate and listen to Christmas carols all day long.

7) Getting a call from one of my friends or my mom and making plans to do something together and then finding things to talk about so that hanging up is next to impossible.

8) Driving my car with no particular place to go or schedule to follow and all the radio stations are playing good songs and the sun is shining and the windows are open and the road is fairly clear and there’s a general feeling that everything is “just fine and dandy”.

9) Having a weekend or day where I can just stay in my PJs, sit in the Chair of Death, and read one book after another. The only time I get up is to eat, use the bathroom, or play with the cats.

10) Laughing. I love having a belly laugh surprised right out of me. I love having my Favorite Co-Worker get the giggles and then I start giggling which makes her laugh which makes me laugh which then leads to both of us laughing so hard we get tears in our eyes and then she has to go pee.

The Name Game

I saw this on AllSorts blog and thought it was good for a laugh. I made some changes to some of the ways to get the names in an effort to help keep your real ones private and to be more fitting for the type of name AND I added a few of my own "name" ideas. Follow the directions indicated in the parentheses to get your name!

Rockstar name: (first pet + first car) Cooter Coupe

Gangsta name: (favorite ice-cream + favorite domesticated animal) Mint Cat (my co-worker is CookieDough Dog!)

Fly Girl/Guy name: (first initial of first name + first 2 letters of last name) S-Su

Detective name: (street you lived on as a kid that you can remember + favorite mystery author’s last name) Pepperwood Allingham

StarWars name: (first 3 letters of pet’s name + first 2 letters of your first name) Hob-Sa aka Doo-Sa aka Moo-Sa

Super Hero name: (“The” + favorite color + favorite alcoholic beverage) The Black Slambo

Nascar name: (using the first names of your grandfathers but shortening one to be one syllable and adding ie/y to the other) Frankie Jules

Stripper name: (favorite scent + favorite candy) Cherry Whopper

Weather Anchor name: (favorite teacher’s last name + major city that starts with same letter) Pickerel Paris

Drag Queen name: (favorite flower + favorite weather element) Hydrangea Thunder

Hippy name: (your typical breakfast + favorite tree) Oatmeal Golden Chain

Cartoon Character name: (favorite toy as a kid + favorite baby animal) Barbie Kitty

Cowboy name: (weapon or ammunition + natural disaster you have an affinity for) Shotgun Tsunami

White Trash Trailer Park name: (seafood item + stinky body part) Tuna Pits

Grey’s Anatomy nickname: (Mc + an apt adjective that applies to you) McBlivious

Rapper name: (felonious action + favorite appetizer) Trippin’ Dip (my other co-worker is Tokin' Popper!)

Mob name: (pick a RatPacker + “the” + your least favorite body part + first 3-4 letters of your last name with an Italian ending like –ucci, -tolli, -letti, -otti, -lini, -one, -pio) Sammy, the Nose, Sulucci

Chief name: (“Chief” + favorite outdoor activity + favorite undomesticated animal) Chief Skiing Mountain Lion

SpongeBob SquarePants name: (favorite water critter + your one syllable nickname + one of your favorite adjective + “pants”) OtterSam FartyPants

ButtonHoled by the Missionaries

Last Saturday is the day I decided to do all the yard work that needed to be done so I could have Sunday and Monday free of “labor”.

I had just finished mowing the lawn and started edging the driveway. You know, taking off the fringe of lawn that is creeping over your driveway, narrowing it each year you put off this particular project?

I was all hot and sweaty and drippy and untidy and unshowered and covered in grass and dirt kneeling at the end of my driveway when the missionaries waltzed up my driveway all tidy, shining, and pressed in their white shirts, ties, and black pants.

Essentially, I was a captive audience for the Word of God.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against people and their religion of choice as long as they are not aggressively seeking to convert me, a zealot, a fanatic, an Inquisitor, or willing to kill themselves and others to score a point for their Supreme Being. To each their own, as long as it makes you happy/gives you something positive to believe in/helps you fulfill your potential/makes you a better person.

The missionaries spent about 15-20 minutes with me (I never stopped edging the entire time) and the speaker of the duo (the 2nd one never said a word) tried to convince me that because I hung around Mormons in high school, one of my best friends is Mormon, and I work with a few Mormons “that didn’t I think this was a direct message from God that I should join up?”

Me (laughing): “No and organized religion is not for me”.

Missionary 1: “How you do you think you are going to be with God after you die?”

Me: “I haven’t quite firmed up my beliefs on what happens after we die because no one knows for sure what happens – out like a light, white robes and harps or horns and pitchforks, serial killers coming back as dung beetles, or astrally going to another dimension. And really, with all the different religions and spiritual beliefs out there, what is the real version of God, the Supreme Being, or the ambiguous Universal One? All religions have commonalities and possibly a kernel of truth buried under all the perceptions/misperceptions/opinions of the human storytellers.” (Condensed version of my words, there is about 5-10 minutes of repartee I’m taking the license of arbitrarily summing up.)

Missionary 1: “I agree with the ‘kernel of truth’ part but I don’t believe in reincarnation and serial killers are in for a spiritual learning experience all their own courtesy of God.” (those weren’t his exact words, but this is what filtered into my head). “I have had my own personal experiences with God and I guarantee being Mormon means going to God.”

Me (laughing): “You can’t guarantee anything you don’t have proof of.”

Missionary 1: “God has given me proof.

Me: “Perception isn’t proof.”

Missionary 1: “That’s where faith comes in.”

Me: “Fine, but I still don’t agree with organized religions as the pathway to ‘wherever’ we’re going.”

Missionary 1: “The Books of Mormon are the pathway.”

Me: “The Books were written by a flawed human being who was interested in touting his own version of ‘THE pathway to God’”.

He had to take a moment.

I don’t want to give you the impression that we were arguing or that this conversation consisted of smooth back and forthing, because it wasn’t. Mostly I was chuckling after his comments before I drew upon all the speculative non-fiction books I’ve read and osmosis-ed through the years for my vaguely shocking, blasphemous, or anti-religious replies. There were long pauses while he tried to come up with pithy rebuttals that would enlighten me into having my own glorifying direct experience with God and cause me to jump up and say, “sign me up, I wanna be a Mormon!” Which didn’t happen, obviously. I mightily resisted the temptation to ask him where he stood on polygamy.

There was more talk, mostly different .0 versions of the Word of God on his part and towards the end, my social tolerance had diminished and I cheerily sent them on THEIR way so I can merrily skip MY way to spiritual enlightenment.

Being Arty with Nature

Just thought I would share some pictures I took this weekend coz I like the way these turned out. Let me know what you think. (Deliberate comment hint much? Yes indeedy!)

Only Gotta Minute...

Check out my early morning guest. My what big feet he has, not to mention the big white belly!

Moomin giving me a grip with his handy feet. I love him.

One of my pumpkins. It just keeps getting bigger as the days go by.

My sunflowers. Remember when they were little insignificant sproutlings that were barely peeking out of the containers at the bottom? Well, I think the tallest one (which grows about 5 inches each time I go away to work) may actually fulfill it's "mammothness".

Recent sunset, two dusks ago. Love the colors. Still learning how to use the "sunset" setting.

My friend J2 and her son TJ from this weekend. Too CUTE!

When PMS Ruled the Weekend

I let the PMS Bitch out of the cage this weekend.

All I wanted was to enjoy my Saturday day with J2 and TJ.

Saturday started off with a bang. I get out of the shower to a super lovey-dovey Doodle who wound herself around my legs and purr-chirped at me incessantly while giving me the Bambi-eyes treatment. She only acts like this when she’s yarfed up an entire meal and wants more coz her stomach is completely empty and she thinks cuteness gets her another meal (it usually does). So I wandered around the house looking for the yarf and couldn’t find a damn thing. I had my suspicions that I wasn’t going to find anything because Moomin was acting like a beached whale and laying around. I called the vet who didn’t answer so I called the other local vet who did answer. When I presented my bizarre TMI suspicions that one cat had yarfed and another cat had eaten it and they put me on hold to ask a vet, I found where Doodle had yarfed – on the back of my couch. No wonder I couldn’t find it, I’d been searching the floors. The vet’s were nice enough to let me know that Moomin would be fine (and does this happen often, no because I usually catch her vomiting before Moomin has a chance to be downright disgusting), but they were really concerned about Doodle throwing up, how long had this been going on, and were concerned about her weight. I told them that she does this every so often when she eats a meal too fast, this has happened since she was a kitten, and that Miss Pudge has no problem with her weight. So the upshot was I was able to leave the house without panicking.

I ended up following a 5-10 mile an hour below the speed limit driver the entire way to J2’s which normally takes me 45 minutes and it took me an hour!!!! And it was VERY VERY hot and humid, which makes me even crankier.

I got to J2’s and was greeted by a very excited and loveable small boy and a large greyhound who tried to bust a hole in the door with her tail she was wagging it so hard. Balm to the PMS soul.

We took TJ candlepin bowling and I got some great shots on my camera. Afterward we went to the bakery to learn my two favorite breads were not available. I was sad. J2 took me to the Farmstand and managed to find one of my breads in the sale bin (day old bread) at the bottom and the other bread was one of three loaves left (fresh). I was happy.

We went to our usual restaurant for lunch and were seated in an area with two other families with toddlers. It was a line of three tables, one separated by a divider so diners only see the tops of adults’ heads.

One table had what was obviously a weekend dad who had NO clue how to talk to much less pre-plan how to deal with his kids. The amount of verbals coming out of this man’s mouth was amazing and very much grating on the exposed PMS nerves (“these are Saltines, you know how they are Saltines? Look at the package, there’s a little Saltine guy, see the Saltine guy, no honey don’t tip your drink up like that, you’ll spill it, see the Saltine guy, he’s on the package, he lets you know they are Saltines, no honey, I told you not to tip the drink up that far, you’ll get it on your clothes….”). He took the boy (5 yrs old) to the bathroom, bringing the sister (2 yrs old) with them. When he got back, he left the boy at the table ALONE while he took the sister to the car to get the diaper bag to take the girl to the bathroom and change her. He was gone for 10 minutes. For 10 minutes, the 5 year old boy was left at the table ALONE. Unbelievably and incredibly stupid!!!!

At the table with the divider was Jack-in-the-Box boy with his completely numb parents. This kid did not stay down for two consecutive seconds and his parents did not reprimand or direct him to stay seated once in the 45 minutes we were there. They never turned their heads towards him, ever.

TJ did fine for the first 15 minutes. He played with his puzzles, talked to me and J2, and babbled out “stories”. Our appetizers arrived and after TJ finished his helping, he finally noticed the Weekend Dad boy and Jack-in-the-Box boy having rather inappropriate interactions (their tables were separated by the divider). Weekend Dad boy tried to poke Jack-in-the-Box boy every time he popped up, some toys were unwillingly exchanged and given back, and some loudness occurred. TJ started getting excited and escalated and lost the use of his listening ears. J2 did her best to contain him and tell him what the expectations of him were, but as no one was dealing with Weekend Dad boy or Jack-in-the-Box boy, she wasn’t having much luck. She finally had to take him aside somewhere else in the restaurant but things didn’t get better once she came back as the issues with the other kids were still not being dealt with.

And our waitress completely disappeared on us. I kept looking around for her so we could get our checks and go. No such luck. When she finally showed up, I asked her for the checks and boxes and she looked at TJ and asked “are we having a hard time?”

“Are we having a hard time?” Well, she just lit the PMS powder keg. I’d HAD it. TJ had been set up for failure by the ineptitude of the numb grown-ups around him and I’d had my last nerve jumped on for the entire shitty week and I just let the biting sarcastic bitchy comment fly. “Having a hard time? Well, yes he is considering the fine behavior examples he has around him.” I said it loud enough so all the tables around us could hear. And I turned and made a point to meet every single pair of eyes straight on with an unblinking stare and tight jaw. Bring it on coz I’ll gladly give the much deserved smackdown!

We finally were able to leave diner hell and have a post-traumatic giggle in the car. She said I was justifiably awful. I told her I had really wanted to confront the Jack-in-the-Box boy’s parents as I was sure they missed the benefit of my bitchy wisdom because of the divider, and I’d been “this close” to doing so, but cooler heads prevailed.

The rest of the day was spent at J2’s home where it was quiet and we could dip our feet in the lake. And I had my bread. And I was full of fried mozzarella sticks.

Anyone Need a Hand?

I love messing around with my digcamera. I took these on my birthday and thought they were fun.

I just have to be careful, I tried to take StormChaser pics again, but my camera must not have enjoyed the experience as much as I did or I messed up on a setting, coz I managed to freeze the camera up the next day so that it would not respond to any command, even "shut off". I finally had to take the batteries out. Hope that doesn't happen again!

Moomin Update

Moomin has crystals in his urine. This means I have to institute a couple of lifestyle changes for him.

1) I need to keep him regularly supplied with bottled water. Where we live, the water has a distinct “pool” smell, especially first thing in the morning and the vet said the smell of chlorine can turn a cat off drinking water faster than anything. So now, I am a spring water jug buying machine. Well, not completely, my friend J2, who lives by a lake and has “a complete filtration system”, has kindly offered to let me fill said jugs at her house for free. I love my friend, blessings on her!

2) I need to entice him to drink. The vet recommended I “sprinkle salt on his food”. Not so sure about this trick, then he might decide “all food bad like water”. So I settled for getting a fountain where the water circulates and comes out of a spout like the stream from a faucet. The night I set this up (the same night I popped him back in the house after the impromptu-stressed-out-vet-visit on Tuesday and went scurrying all over town and neighboring town to find the vet recommended changes), Moomin had loads of water swiping fun and I saw him try to “bite” the water a couple times. I have yet to see anyone drink out of it, but the sound it makes should entice the herd to drink and pee a lot (it’s doing a job on me). Of course, Doodle and Hobbes were supremely cautious with the fountain after set-up, doing the whole “slowly slinking so low my belly touches the floor, paws way out in front, eyes bigger than a dinner plate, and nose all aquiver” act, but now they just run right by it.

3) I need to give him antibiotic drops for a week twice a day which makes me very popular with the other cats coz they know that when they hear me shaking the drops, I’m going to be giving out treats, real soon.

4) I need to give him pills once a day for two weeks that will encourage him - medication-wise - to drink and pee so the crystals break up and flush (no pun intended) out of his system. I caught him drinking from a water dish on Wednesday night, the FIRST time I have actually seen him drink anything other than what I put in his food in MONTHS! So the pill must be working. Moomin’s such a trooper, giving me urine samples on demand, letting me put water on his dry food, letting me pry open his mouth (with minor resistance, no biting) and squirt drops into his mouth, and letting me toss a pill to the back of his throat (which he swallows right away).

5) I need to give him dry food that has MEAT in the first 4-5 ingredients. Not meat-meal, not meat by-products, not meat substitute, meat flavoring, or fish. But MEAT, an actual meat product, be it chicken, lamb, turkey, duck, or beef. I spent the evening (the scurrying around bit) looking at the ingredients of all the catfood products sold in three stores. Do you know how hard it is to find a cat food with a meat as the main ingredient? It’s like the proverbial needle. I could find meal and by-products out the kazoo, but meat? No way. I finally settled on a Purina One for UTI health, small bag. Moomin wasn’t really keen on it. He’s your typical autistic rigid picky eater. I thought we were doomed coz the vet said his current food is not good for him, too many grain products and trying to change a biologically engineered carnivore into a herbivore isn’t healthy. So I was worried to say the least. I finally was able to visit our local feed and farm store where they sell the food the vet recommended. I was able to snag a trial size bag of the Chicken Soup for the Cat Lover’s Soul which has two meat ingredients in the first 5 AND meat sprinkled throughout the rest of the list! To my utter surprise, Moomin LOVES this food; he can’t wait for me to fill his shot glass and has his nose in the bag. RELIEF! I will be going back to get a larger bag once he finishes the trial, it could just be a honeymoon with this food right now. I’m hoping it will be a marriage that lasts.

6) I need to dial down the adrenaline junky’s need for high intensity cat games and play quieter, less zooey games. There’s nothing Moomin likes better than to get all reved up and zoom around the house chasing a feather on a string on a stick, but if stress is a result of getting too worked up, then he and I need to play calmer games that are fun and active and not an indoor version of Extreme Sports.

So far, he seems to be peeing, drinking, eating, playing, napping, chomping and wrestling the other cats, climbing his cat trees, window gazing, and love-festing. He even slept on my lap with the other cats last night, something he hasn’t done in quite some time (basically since summer landed on our head’s with a vengeance). He’s my good monkey-butt boy. I regret he had to wait so long to get treatment (rassin’ sassin’ frassin’ vet clinic).

Today is NOT a Good Day

It’s PMS week.

I woke up with a headache.

I woke up tired and had a very difficult time actually getting out of bed.

I came home last night to a message from the vet’s saying their outsource analysts have no record of the fabulous urine sample I collected last Thursday and could I collect another. I told Moomin this and he gave me a small bright yellow, verging on orange, sample on demand.

This morning, I watched Moomin try four times to give me a urine sample and the last time he was finally able to strain out a tiny bloody sample, no more than 4-5 drops.

I took a shower angry and frustrated, feelings which only grew as I got ready for work.

I took the sample into the vet's and tried really hard to contain my anger while explaining that I am extremely upset and frustrated that now Moomin is worse than he was when I first told them he was having UTI symptoms, gave them the first sample, and got the one week’s worth of antiBs. Now what ever that week’s antiBs has killed off has come back with a vengeance and stronger because it’s been a full week of no meds and now he has bloody pee and is straining and this should have been taken care of two fucking weeks ago!!!

The vet isn’t coming in until 2:00pm today and it’s the woman vet I am so not impressed with. I was told to call today at that time. I’m in a meeting at that time. I have another meeting at 3:00pm.

I plan on calling in between the meetings, but if the vet is coming in at 2pm, she’s not going to have analyzed the sample by the time I call.

On the way to work, there was much evidence of recent roadkill, so depressing and so not what I need to see when worried about my kitty.

It’s kinda feeling like whenever something good happens or there’s good news, the Universe needs to have an immediate SlamboSmackdown every time.

Based On This Morning's Events...

I am expecting to run the rest of the emotional gamut today.

I woke up to the phone ringing at 7:00am (well, I was awake but not yet ready to “get up”) and was serenaded by my mom singing “Happy Birthday”. She and Dad are on their way out of state. I got their card in the mail yesterday, Elvis of course. It’s become a running joke to get me Elvis cards for my b’day because I can’t stand the man and the fact he had to die on my b’day and all I get all day is “Elvis Elvis Elv-ass!”

I got a package from my brother yesterday as well. It’s a “Box O’ Fun” and I am going to open all the goodie bags in it today (why not yesterday? It wasn’t my official b’day that’s why) when I get home from work early… I plan on playing hooky before lunch, just finishing up some loose ends this morning.

The absolutely amazing event was after the phone call and after I fed the furry herd. But before I tell you this, I have to take you back two weeks ago… Moomin was starting the whole bladder infection symptom cycle again two weeks ago so the vet receptionist told me I need to get a sample of his urine. Her suggestion was for me to put him in a room by himself all day with a litter box full of fish rocks. I laughed at her on the phone and told her that was not going work in my household o’pets as I’d most likely come home to the doors hanging off their hinges and someone seriously hurt. So other than bringing Moomin in so they could squeeze him like a grape, I was going to have to be fast and careful in catching a sample. The next morning I had the litter box closet all ready (door wide open, ceramic mini bowl in fast reach). Moomin decided he was going to fart around in the dining room and torment the other cats. I had to get to work, so I said out loud, “Moomin, I have to go and I need to get some from pee from you, please come in here and go to the bathroom.” What does he do? I know, you’re thinking “cat = animal = no real verbal understanding = no results”. To my utter amazement, he waltzes around the corner, comes into the living room, walks directly into the litter box, and cops a squat. I grab the dish, slide it under him and viola I have a perfect urine sample. It turns out he needed to be on a week’s worth of antiBs and I would need to get another urine sample after that week to see if he needs more of them. And now for the amazing and uncanny morning event. Last night I verbally told Moomin that I was going to need a urine sample from him in the morning and he needed to be as good as last time. I said this about 3 times before bed. This morning, I answered the phone, fed the cats, and waited. I had the litter closet ready, bowl at hand, and just as he finished his breakfast, I reminded him I needed a pee sample. This wonderful cat jumps off his TV tray, saunters into the litter box, and futzes around a bit to find THE spot and then lets me not once, not twice, but adjust the bowl under him three times to get an unlittered sample. Of course when he was done and I took the bowl, he didn’t quite understand “where” his pee had gone and why it wasn’t there for him to cover up. His puzzled face was priceless.

And on my way to work (on a B’day high and super-pumped about Moomin and there was good music on the radio so I didn’t have to change the station more than once), the Universe decides I need a smackdown, way down. I’m tooling along and come around a corner and a dithering chipmunk is in the road. Before I can react and slow down or honk the horn, he’s dithered himself under my car and the visual that is stuck in my head (and will be for the next several weeks) is what I saw in my rearview side mirror of the chipmunk flipping around like a beached fish on my side of the road. So I sobbed the rest of the way to work.

The next stop on the emotional gamut was embarrassment coz I forgot one co-worker’s thankyou card as I was handing out their thank you’s for yesterday’s cheesecake, balloon, and cat calendar. I will have to get it to her tomorrow.

That makes euphoria, trauma, and mortification. That leaves plenty of other extreme emotions to run up against today.

Moving Day at the Office

So the whole Suite has been in total chaos and upheaval the entire day. I was the only one not to move. Says something… not sure I like what it says.

I did something to my back this morning so I was unable to be the big strong helper I typically am. No one wants a workman’s comp issue. Not sure what the back issue was. All I know is that I woke up, walked to the bathroom, sat down, and instantly stood back up because the sharp shooting pain in the small of my back was not to be endured in the seated position. I almost did not make it back to the bedroom coz my legs felt weak. Lying down on my back, side, or stomach didn’t help. I literally could not stand up straight, bend from the waist, or turn to the side for about an hour and I thought I was going to pass out in the shower. Things did end up loosening up in the shower a bit and by the time I was driving to work, I was actually able to sit and bend at the waist at a 90* angle. Right now (late afternoon) every thing seems to be back to normal except for occasional minor twinges and what appears to be residual soreness, but I can reach my toes again and pick things up and sit for longer than 5 minutes. I must have tweaked the muscles wrong first thing this morning.

Anyhoo, all day long it’s been chickens without heads running amok in the Suite. Some stuff or people could not be moved as other stuff needed to be moved to make room and then there was no where to move that stuff as there was no room to put it anywhere and then two people were missing who needed to be packed up. Yeah, just utter chaos.

But everyone is now in their respective positions busy as bees trying to re-nest themselves, the phones are being reprogrammed, and all the computers work. So I guess all’s well that end’s well. I’m still going to miss Favorite Co-Worker. Gum-Chewing Co-Worker left several of her plants on my office’s windowsill. I consulted with my two new office-mates and with their approval, made the executive decision to move the fugly plants into her new office and put them on her windowsill. Hah, executive decision. I also managed to snag a wall shelf for my office. Sheer shameless greediness I know, but my office has the wall for the longest shelf and damn-it, I’ve been coveting a shelf ever since we moved to this building.

Going to a BBQ Saturday night. I’m in charge of making a potato salad. I’d like to make it with the “gourmet” purple potatoes but that may gross out the less creative eaters, so I will most likely just go the normal potato route.

The Definitive in Campy SciFi Cheesiness with Glitter*

*And let me tell you, the digital remastery has made the movie VERY glittery!!!

I got my Flash Gordon DVD yesterday! It came in right on time and before my b’day. I picked it up, got home, and settled into the Chair of Death to overdose on a childhood movie.

I have to say, watching it in it’s entirety through adult eyes was a bit vertigo inducing. I kept expecting scenes, effects, dialogue, and random details that were either before I thought they should happen or some time after I thought they should happen or they were missing altogether or were completely different. So it was fun, but as I said, it was almost like wearing glasses that allow you to see but are just off enough to slightly tweak what you see thus causing some discombobulation.

One thing that really struck me was how accepting as a kid I was of Dale and Flash’s relationship. One minute they’ve just met each other, next minute they are holding hands and unconscious in a rocket ship, then they are an item when they arrive on Mongo, profess their feelings while he’s chained up, after he comes back from the dead they get engaged and discuss kids, and after he’s saved Earth, they’re inseparable. And this was all happening in less than 48 hours. As a kid, this did not seem at all out of the ordinary for me, it made sense that it was “insta-love” as there is nothing like extreme sci-fi events to promote getting to know your significant other as quickly as possible. As an adult, I had some difficulty wrapping my mind around how fast their relationship developed until I finally mentally yelled at myself to just stop it and enjoy a childhood favorite.

The soundtrack was as great as I remembered. And I very much enjoyed the enhanced colorific version as the edition we watched as kids was a recorded from a cable channel version on a VHS tape with two other movies and it was not a very sharp or colorful copy. If I remember correctly, there were some lines and minor tracking issues as well.

Overall, I had fun rocketing down the memory vortex.

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

Friday night was boomerific! The storm was a long time coming, massive when it arrived, and took it's sweet time to move away. Perfect photo-op for pictures I thought. I tried out the 16 frame picture (took lots of shots) and got some nice views that only needed to be cropped out of the series of 16, enlarged, and sharpened on the computer. Unfortunately I don't have the sharpening option directly on the camera, so when I developed straight from my memory card, the pictures were all digitalized and sucky. But thanks to the computer, you get to see the better pictures.

This was before the storm actually arrived. It was just lighting up the sky at this point and I totally didn't know I got this pretty shot at the time.

I'm in my garage at this point. Things were starting to whip up and I thought I should be under cover so the camera didn't get wet.

This lightening was SOOOOO close that it scared the pants off of me and I almost dropped the camera as you can tell by the double-y exposure!


Then the rain was very intense. You'd never know that this was taken at 10:00pm at night. The lightening just lit it up. See the rain on the roof!

The storm was moving away but I did get this shot, close but not close enough to scare the pants off of me. I got lots of mosquito bites trying to be all Storm Catcherish.

Two things I learned: 1) the garage isn't that great of a storm buffer, but keeps the rain off you and 2) I need to use the "continuous" setting on the camera, should eliminate the pauses between frames and I'd have better luck with actually catching more strikes on digfilm. Hopefully the weather will cooperate and I will get some more chances to Storm Catch this week.

Much Needed Friday Humor

Disclaimer: This joke contains non-PC material and some stereotypes that may be offensive, but damn funny.

I got this in an email and thought I would post it on my blog as it gave me a much-needed giggle, what with the upcoming inter-office shuffle and a deadly boring training today.

Flamboyant Flight Attendant

The flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served the food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told the passengers “Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he will be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.”

On his trip back up the aisles he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn’t moved a muscle. “Perhaps you didn’t hear my over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us to the ground.”

She calmly turned her head to the flight attendant and said “In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.”

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, “Well, sweetcheeks, in my country I’m called a Queen, so I out rank you… Tray up Bitch!”

Ch-ch-ch-Changes...

I feel like having a major knock-down drag-out flippin’ tantrum. I want to kick, scream, flop to the floor, and just bewail change at the top of my lungs.

I know that change is the standard, nothing stays the same, change = growth, accepting change is healthy and mature, and adjusting yourself to change is positive.

Well, I DON’T WANNA be all healthy positive and mature. I want to be two years old and mad as hell!

What’s going on is that there are inter-office shifts (read: moving people around) and my favorite co-worker is leaving my office and going across the hall. Now she had stated at yesterday’s staff meeting that she wanted to stay put but the gum-chomping/loud-talking/“like-you-know-what-I-mean”/constantly-talking-repetitively co-worker made HER move contingent on taking Favorite Co-worker with her. So that means I stay. And the sop from my supervisor is that “the new employees wanted to be with you as they said you’ve done most of their training.” Right.

I liked coming to the office in the morning and seeing Favorite Co-worker at her desk, having late afternoon marathon belly laugh sessions, just turning my head and asking wording questions which would lead to totally inappropriate conversation or making sarcastic comments on life in general, and just knowing she was there. You know how you have people in your life that you are just happy by being in their company? She’s like that. She makes me feel better about crappy things, she makes me smile, she makes the day brighter, and she’s a trooper.

Yes I know she’s just across the hall, but still, that’s not the point. The point is the change and hole in the office. And the petty side of my mind is pissed someone stipulated SHE’d move only if she took Favorite Co-worker along. Pissed.

Color me two years old.