After Turkey Day Bliss

Thanksgiving holiday we all had something we loved and are thankful for:

• Riley had two woodsy walks on Turkey Day and a playdate on Saturday.
• I had four days of reading, rest, and relaxation.
• Dad had two major platefuls of turkey + all the fixin's (with accompanying tummy issues) and lots of napping.
• Mom had bread and wine and Scrabble.

"Take Charge" Sophie and big piece of wood. What more could Riley ask for other than turkey dinner droppings on the floor?

I Just Learned How to Remove Blemishes!

From photos, not for shizzle.

Me and my pseudonephew...

Six Of One, Half Dozen of The Other

Part One:

So I'm driving to work Tuesday morning completely on "autopilot". I get within eyesight of my building when I look in the rear view mirror and see blue lights aflashin'. I pull over so he can pass me. He pulls in behind me. I think, "oh, it's me? It's ME!"

Policeman: Do you know why I pulled you over?

Me: Honestly, I have no idea.

Policeman: What's the speed limit for this area?

Me (thinking really hard): 35?

Policeman: No, 30. Do you know how fast you were going?

Me: I'm sorry, I was totally on autopilot and have absolutely no idea.

Policeman: 51.

Me: Holy crap! (yes I did say this)

Policeman: Where you headed?

Me (pointing right across the intersection): Right there to that building.

Policeman: What do you do for work?

Me: I'm a -------. (field of Autism/mental retardation)

Policeman: Do you like your job?

Me: Yes I do, it's like getting a new puzzle every day.

Policeman: When was your last speeding ticket?

Me: Maybe about 2 yrs ago, I really can't remember.

Policeman: I need your license, proof of insurance, and registration. Thank you, I'm going to run you thru the system and I'll be right back.

Me: Okay.

Me sitting there looking at the building, waving occasionally in case co-workers happen to look out the window and see me with the pretty blue flashing lights.

Policeman (after coming back): Well, your last speeding ticket was four years ago and you've had two warnings since then. (Pause - hands me my stuff) I've seen alot of deer on this road, you need to be more careful. Your car would lose against a deer.

Me: I've never seen deer but the turkeys have scared the crap out of me several times.

Policeman: Well, you're doing God's work and I want you to be careful now.

Me: So I'm all set?

Policeman: Yes, you take care and pay attention.

Me: I promise to do my best to stop driving on autopilot. Thank you sir, you have a good day.

Policeman: You do that and you too.

I drive into the parking lot and a co-worker, who'd been getting something from her car, waves me down and says "that was you?" "yep" "do you know who that was?" "a policeman?" "no, silly..." and she proceeds to tell me who he was. Man was I one lucky girl telling him I enjoyed my job.

Part Two:

I have the day off today so I take my car in for it's "winterizing" appointment to get the tires rotated, wipers replaced, fluids checked, and a free super wash/wax at my Honda service which is about 40 minutes away from home. I spend my day wandering around the mall after the car was done, taking my time trying all sorts of things on and driving the sales people crazy coz I'm giving them a buttload to fold and put back, and finally homeward-bound I pick up food and litter for the kittos with my 10% off coupon. I get back in the car after loading the said food and litter, turn the car on, and lo and behold... my car informs me via the lit-up wrench symbol that it's time for an oil change! And I'm 3 miles from home! Rassin' frassin' sassin' @#$%^&! I was just there, dangnabit! So now I have to call tomorrow and schedule an oil change.

Just the way my luck works. Not complaining, just commenting. I love not getting a ticket and if I have to pay with two trips to the car place, sobeit.

Good Day... Sunshine

We had a great sunshiny weekend. The three of them did this while I was outside slaving and raking. I will try to get a pic of all the piles before this weekend so you can see how funny my yard looks. My arms still hurt like the dickens. Moomin's pooper is fine now, but Hobbes has constipation so I've been giving him little bits of skim milk to expedite his pooper. If it's not one thing it's another, brudda.

Reboot the Ole Poop Chute

Turns out Moomin doesn't have a bladder infection, he's got the big D! Yep, he's got a bad case of diarrhea.

The vet had shot him full of SubQ fluids (subcutaneous fluids to those of us who had to ask) and I gave him a double helping of water for dinner and bedtime snack. So he was chock full of liquids.

I put him in the spare room with the sprinkling of non-absorbent pellets in an old litter box and water and our evening TV watching blanket. When it came time to let him out of the room yesterday morning, I saw that he did the big D once in the box and twice outside of it and those little black pellets were all over the place.

I was half right... and am still amazed he didn't pee at all. Believe me, I've gone over the room with a fine tooth flashlight and nose and there's no sign of pee. Super bright shiny side of the coin is that I just had to clean up poop which is easy and has no special long lasting smell remnants instead of cat urine which would have ruined my hardwood floors.

He held all those fluids all damn night. I followed him to the closet litter boxes and managed to catch an awesome pee sample. He let me slide that bowl right under him and he whizzed away, for quite some time.

I took the pee sample to the vet along with a fresh big D. They tested both, urine fine and poop is free of parasites. I'd already started the fasting regimen the vet suggested. Fasting for a cat is not having food for 24 hours which means they empty out their internal septic tank coz there's nothing coming in and the thought is as they empty the pooper, whatever is causing the big D comes out too. And hopefully, the next day the poop chute has been rebooted.

So Moo, along with Doo and Hobber (who had to join the miserableness coz it's not fair to eat in front of your fasting comrade) had no breakfast, dinner, or bedtime snack yesterday. They were all VERY happy to have breakfast this morning.

Apparently, things are on track now... yeah for me and my weekend!

I Have Had Quite the Day

First, Moomin greeted me after my shower with "in and out" litter box behavior. I immediately checked the box and found numerous small pee clumps that Moomin had considerately scattered all over the boxes which made cleaning up a tremendous treat.

I worried all morning but could do nothing about it so off to work and meetings. Second meeting cancelled after I arrived. I'd missed the flea infestation message. I decided to reschedule.

Driving on my way back from the cancelled meeting, I heard this massive KAH-POW!!! and the ass-end of the truck in front of me did this lifting shimmy. I braked to slow down but I didn't see anything. While I was trying to decide what to do, suddenly all these black fragments came spewing out from under the truck. I executed a majorly fast lane switch! Then because the truck driver finally realized something happened and pulled over into the breakdown lane, I had to switch lanes again coz he hadn't fully committed to the breakdown lane.

Get to work, called the vet at 3pm, they strongly suggested I bring Moomin in due to his past history of bladder issues, I did, got him there, he got sniffed by a very old black lab with dribble issues, and come to find out the office gremlins have done away with Moomin's file. The vet's assistant said this tends to happen, the folders sometimes get put back inside another file, and she has a DooBee who comes in once a month to go thru all the files to look for stuff like this. She said the files have always turned up. I didn't mention my special Murphy's Law luck. Let them be perky and optimistic.

Tonight when I go to bed, I have to shut Moomin up in the spare bedroom with water and a box with a sprinkling of black non-absorbent pellets to catch a pee sample tonight. The vet's assistant thinks this plan of action is going to work. Again with letting them be perky and optimistic. I know that Moomin isn't going to pee in a practically empty litter box with some strange little black pellets that don't even cover the bottom of the box and he's going to yodel by the door all night. Doodle, Houdini girl that she is, is going to spend the night trying her damndest to get the door open. Sleep, HAH! I think I prefer staying up and following Moomin around all night to get a pee sample to the special kind of hell that will be tonight.

Want To Hear Something Absolutely Freaky?

This evening I called J and she told me that she'd been trying to call me but my line was busy. I started to say... when she stopped me cold in my conversational tracks and said before I said anything she needed to confess something.

Last weekend, we'd both had psychic readings from the same person, she by phone, me in person. I called her afterwards and we shared our readings. J had me describe how the readings went. After describing the lady and her tarot cards, J said she wanted a set, where could she get them. I told her to go to a book store and find the Occult/New Age section, they have lots of tarot decks and books, and pick out one that she's drawn to. J told me later she just got a basic set coz none of the other decks "spoke to her".

She "confessed" that she just did a yes/no reading with her tarot cards for me, asking if I'd see Mr. Z. She asked me not to be mad, she really wanted to practice with her cards, and this question was really bothering her all day. I said I wasn't mad and she said the three card spread had three faces up - which means a definite "yes". And she did her reading right before she tried to call me when my phone was busy. She said she was surprised to find my phone busy and couldn't figure out who I'd be talking to if it wasn't her coz new mommaJ2 is asleep already and I don't have any other friends that call after 9pm.

Me: Mr. Z just called me.

J: Funny.

Me: Seriously.

J: Are you shitting me?

Me: Why would I shit you about something that's got me smilin' wide?

J: Are you shitting me? (louder)

Me: Seriously, not shitting you, I couldn't be any more non-shitting you.

J: I am so freaking out right now. Do you realize I was doing my reading for you at the same time you were talking to him?

What are the odds?

I Am the Sizzle

On Saturday I met my newborn pseudoniece, spoiled my pseudonephew who will be turning 5 soon (5! OMG where has the time gone, he was just a newborn who snuggled in my arms like a nugget a minute ago and a toddler who I could coax out of a tantrum by doing a Joey impression and asking him "how you doin'?" a second ago), and spent some quality grown-up time with my good friend J2.

J2 and I and new baby went to Target so J2 could purchase some new momma supplies and I could follow her around having Target-induced ADD by getting distracted by this that and the other and Magpie-itis picking this that and the other up. We giggled alot and admired baby E alot.

So we stopped in front of the lingerie section and commented on some of the items on prominent display out by the main aisle. She was explaining for me, the total non-lingerie girl, the merits of a garter belt paired with stockings and the benefits of different lace undies. She said what guy doesn't like a lace body suit with a snap crotch. I responded by saying the snaps weren't very uncomfortable. She said they wouldn't be snapped for long and we giggled.

Then I pointed to what I think was a baby doll teddy - a black lace bra with black see-thru fabric attached underneath. Fabric testing the hem with one hand, I said "I'd prefer something that wouldn't get in the way" while simultaneously lifting the side of my sweater with my other hand and hitching my bootilicious low-rise jeans up (so called because they are close fitting and every time I bend over, it's a crackfest, so I make sure my shirts are long enough to keep me modest).

Thereby causing a passing male to trip over an invisible obstacle as he tried not to eavesdrop, stare, and keep walking past us all at the same time.

J2 and I of course turned towards him when we heard his sneaker skid and the stumble. We were good. We didn't laugh until he was out of range.

Ssssst. Sizzle. Someone flip me over.