Project Runway in Nutshell #1

Hey, this is going to be down and dirty coz I'm very tired from an extremely long day at work.

Warning: Non-PC first impressions that will most definitely be unsuitable to people who have no sense of humor. Impressions subject to change as show goes on...

The Girls (in no particular order):

Old Biker Chick named Sweet P (who also has a tattoo of a "mean P" - whatever that is).

Sin City Rosario Dawson Wannabe named Carmen

Yoga Doing Weed Visionary Crunchy Granola Extraordinaire named Elisa (who besmirched expensive fabric by grinding into the grass to bring on the essential earthiness of being into her work while Tim looked on in stunned disbelief)

Jeff-from-last-season Wannabe or Jeff's MiniMe named Kit aka Pistol (right)

Smart Asian Girl Who Takes No Crap From Anyone named Victorya (with a Y no less)

Bitchy Jumper Wearing Girl named Jillian (who is apparently channeling Angela's bubble skirtedness - not a good thing)

Blah-blah-blah Bland Girl (I could not find anything about her other than her name) named Simone

The Boys (and boy, are they "boys"):

Emotional YMCA Singer Dressed in the Cop Outfit who Designs Lingerie named Ricky (what else?)

Uptight Urkel with French Stewart Facial Expressions named Steven (another architect)

Little Rascals Flower Designer named Marion (I'm tired of the hats already)

Right Said Fred's So Not Sexy Wannabe named Ramy (what's with the low cut tanks - eeuww)

Flaming Fat Boy Who Can't Run to Save His Life Much Less Race for Fabric named Chris

Physical Fitness Boxer Brief Boy named Jack (who apparently thinks this show is a Match.com with the shirtless/boxer action he's giving)

Backstreet Boys Joey Fatone LookALike named Kevin (hey there was a Backstreet Boy named Kevin but so not this guy)

and the Folically-Challenged Vertically Challenged Condenscending Effeminate Beeyotch Boy named Christian who is my least favorite.

"She's a little strange." so says the pot named Christian calling the kettle named Elisa black.

Challenge: to create a signature piece using the tent fabrics or "Don't Go Into the Fear Box" (I can't remember who said that but it sums up the challenge nicely).

Elisa finishes her dress before the deadline and takes a snooze.

Top Three:

Christian with his ugly little jacket and pleated skirt ensemble - he was told he was quirky, designed a good silhouette (sp?), edgy, and his design was "growing on" the guest judge (a good design shouldn't have to "grow on" you - ugh).

Ramy with his drapey dress - he was told his design was chic, beautiful, sophisticated, but the shoulder flower was not the best accent he could have gone with (matronly was what MK said "but he knows how to drape fabric").

Victorya with this black dress that so did not register on MY radar other than the big silver bird plop right above the model's booby - she was told her design was flirty and the silver was a nice touch.

Bottom Three:

Simone with her blah blah blah dress with unmatching jacket - she was told she had poor construction, her elements did not go together and her model looked like she got dressed in the dark, her design was boring, and there was "no WOW factor". I had a feeling from the beginning of the show she wasn't going to be star material.

Ricky with his baby doll dress (how is that fashion forward?) - he was told he was playing it too safe. He's a lingerie designer for goodness sakes, isn't it his job to stop traffic?

Elisa with her aqua blue dress which looked like some drunk designer had ingested too much fabric and vomited scraps all over the back of the dress, I believe Heidi's comment was it looked like the model "was pooing fabric". Pooing fabric, I like that but I have no idea what conversation I'm going to fit that into.

Winner: Ramy
Out: Simone (I knew it!)

Sorry it's not a super witty post, but I'm out of PRactice and tired. Hopefully I will be more "on" next time.