Project Runway in Nutshell #3

Jack informed the Viewers he's been HIV positive for 7 years and he's in the best health he's ever been.

Catty comments fly about if Christian had been auffed instead of Marion how no one will miss him. Chris practically wet his pants laughing about this.

Challenge: A first for PR, designing an outfit for a man, a huge man no less, to wear on the Today Show. Tiki Barbar, running back for NY Giants and Today Show correspondent, said he liked dark colors, texture, patterns, depth, details, and he's "not afraid of color as he's been known to wear pink at times". Apparently wearing pink is a manly man thing, the more manly you are, the more pink you can wear. He also informed the designers he has a big neck and a big butt that need to be accomodated for.

Steven: "I don't know anything about football other than it's a sport where wearing lots of Spandex is acceptable."

As they head back into the Design School, Christian is carried in someone's bag like Paris Hilton's teacup chiuahuaha (sp so off, I know) in her handbag. He sure has the disposition of one of them too. Yap yap piss piss.

The Viewers are treated to non-sketching and flummoxed looks. Then frantic scurrying around Mood to find fabric for their invisible designs.

Jack used his "Survivor" skills and turned his shorts into a template (while wearing an improvised kilt that Christian had drawn cherries on in his ass region) and Victorya and Carmen jumped on the cheating bandwagon. Chris asked how difficult can menswear be when "pants are just two big sleeves sewn together."

Welcome to Meerkat Designer Mansion (the sewing/cutting montage).

Heads down, heads up, who's cheating?

Heads down, heads up, who's cutting directly into the fabric?

Heads down, heads up, who's spending too much time cutting out a muslin pattern?

Heads down, heads up, who's got a piece finished?

Heads down, heads up, who's ripping the guts out of their garment?

Heads down, heads up, is Ricky crying yet?

At midnight, Steven turned into a Pimp, courtesy of a BlueFly hat.

The next day, all the "boys" (except Kevin who made sure we knew he is straight) drooled over the male models in their various states of undress. Steven said he finally understood the straight man's preoccupation with a mass of women in their underwear. Elisa's otherworldliness was confined to letting the Viewers all know that her boyfriend is the "only man" she watches undress or has fitted directly onto and she got all modest and kept her back turned while he dressed. Ricky and Carmen pulled a Jeff&Angela preschool act. Nice. So mature. Tim had a special guest critique the designers' creations which resulted in some lispy gushiness from Christian.

Ricky crying yet? No but he's really panicky...

Next morning, the chaotic pre-runway adrenaline dump. Sweet P has no neck to her shirt. Jack has no vest. Carmen has no shirt. Ricky has safety pins. Frantic frantic frantic...

Male models get make-upped. Too metro-sexual for my tastes, I'm the only one who should be wearing mascara.

Out on the runway, Heidi's outfit should have been auffed. Made my eyes hurt.

All the people picked to be safe were not very memorable other than:

Victorya's white jacket with black collar which I liked but would be too bright for the camera.

Steven's knit top which made his model's head look like the size of a pea because his shoulders and chest were so accentuated as to be almost deformed-lookingly HUGE, could you imagine that on a football player's physique?

Top Three:

Jack: - I thought his outfit would not do well on TV. When the PR camera was a certain distance away, the stripes in the shirt went all optical-illusiony and looked like they were moving. Not to mention the dark striped pants and the light striped shirt looked like negatives of each other. (Judges: "smart", "he didn't bite off more than he could ch(s)ew")

Kevin - Shiny Shiny Shiny, also not good for TV. And pinning the top of the vest together made it look like it didn't fit the model. (Judges: "it was a look" although Heidi didn't think of it so much for Seal, more for David Beckham. And the way she said Beckham's name I got the impression she does. not. like. him.)

Kit - Her outfit was Blah - dark jacket, khaki pants, white shirt, but the reason she was in the top three was because her outfit fit and the jacket was made of a fleece material which would translate well on camera. (Judges: "versatile" and "unique")

Bottom Three:

Sweet P - Well, the shirt was a nightmare, 3/4 sleeves and the mess of a collar, not to mention the tie made for a giant. (Judges: "the concept was totally wrong")

Ricky - Now, those were some ball showin' pants, they'd be practically porno as Tiki's self-confessed big butt flaw would PULL that pants front TIGHT. Hmmm... lingerie for men? (Judges: "looks like a 5 year old made it", well he was acting like a preschooler earlier.)

Carmen - She is SOOOO stuck in the 80's and what's sad is she does NOT even realize it. That jacket was awful as were the pants. I thought the blue swag under the jacket to cover a naked chest was a good "fix it" idea but not for a man. A woman could get away with that quick fix and look like she meant to do that. (Judges: "pants could have been for a Boogie Nights star")

Winner: Jack
Auffed: Carmen

Ricky finally cried.