Somedoggy Was Liking Xmas!

How's this for the Christmas spirit of anticipation?

I guess he is enjoying this present, courtesy of moi!

Christmas Bling Tree

Meowy Christmouse! Here's the tree that be-sapped Moomin. If you look closely you can see him under it. I'm on my way out to visit the parental units.

I call it the Bling Tree coz everything on is is gold, glittery, sparkley or crystally.

Hobbes enjoying a quiet moment under the tree. He's thankful Moomin is occupied with chomping someone else's hindparts.

PS: I had no idea, but the shape and size of the pics makes a tree shape, what a coininkidink.

Golden Sides of Several Coins

Coin #1:

Tarnished side: spent 20 minutes Sunday night looking for the stamps I knew I still had and did not find them. I found three old priced ones and a slew of old postcard stamps.

Golden side: didn't have to wait in line very long at the Post Office Monday morning despite a lot of people there bright and early, got my bills out on time, and got two new strips of stamps.

Unexpected bonus side: the stamps I was looking for turned up in my photograph folio while my hair stylist looked thru them in preparation for me showing my work at her salon.

Coin #2:

Tarnished side: not sleeping well lately.

Golden side: since I started taking Tumeric tablets, the lack of sleep has been considerably less of an issue. Although I am still not a morning person, I have actually been able to physically get out of bed and be awake shortly after my alarm clock goes off as opposed to a butt-draggin' cranky-ass that waits until the very last ever-lovin' minute to get up.

Unexpected bonus side: I'm not having cravings for junk food anymore, my appetite has decreased, I'm satisfied with smaller helpings of sweets, and have lost about 5 pounds since starting the Tumeric.

Coin #3:

Tarnished side: forgot to turn my bathroom dehumidifier off Monday morning and it ran constantly on high at the 7 setting for over 8 hours.

Golden side: the bathroom was good and dry (and warm), the driest it's ever been which is great and the dehumidifier seems to be fine.

Unexpected bonus side: my house is still here.

Coin #4:

Tarnished side: PMS is making my face break out.

Golden side: the zits are small and going away overnight with spot applications of powdered Tumeric mixed with real lemon juice and left on all night.

Unexpected bonus side: this potion seems to be making my brown spots and moles smaller and less prominent.

Coin #5:

Tarnished side: tonight Doodle yarfed up her entire dinner - multiple times - and she's going to be up-my-butt affectionate and a sink-drain surfer until she's fed her bedtime snack. And here she comes now.

Golden side: her dinner was colorless which made cleaning up the fabric surfaces she yarfed on easy and stain-free.

Unexpected bonus side: at least she doesn't have the big D.

Bonus, ChexMix, and Yankee Swap - Oh My!

I cashed my holiday bonus yesterday morning. It's now residing in a bank envelope waiting for me to decide what frivolous non-essential fun item I want to purchase just for myself. Last year I didn't figure out what I wanted until almost March. I'm not in any hurry.

I made ChexMix for the very first time yesterday after dogsitting. It was way easier than I thought and I will be ramping up the butter, Wsauce, and seasonings next time. Just a little too mild right now, good, but I like more oomph. I was invited to a Christmas party and asked to bring an appetizer so I came bearing my ChexMix.

I also had to bring a "gently used household item" wrapped up for a gift for the Yankee Swap. I've never done a Yankee Swap before or regifted something I've used, so this was a new one on me. My gift was a Swiffer Carpet Flick. I got it because I thought it would cut down on my vacuuming but with all the litter the kittos scatter around my house, the Flick's adhesive strip would be full after 2-3 swipes across the carpet. I dusted it off, took it apart, and put it back in it's original box and packaging - hey, what can I say, I save boxes/pkging until I'm sure whatever I've purchased is a definite keeper, so I'm a little anal retentive, yes I kept the Flick's pkging for two years, and look how it came in handy and was needed after all.

So we all got to pick numbers, there were 22 gifts and I got #18. Each person went in order, picked a gift from under the tree, opened it, and then made an executive decision to keep or swap with anyone who already had a gift. Some of the gifts: mirrored tray, candles, inflatable mini snow globe, my Swiffer, bath products, cat bowl with belled lid, VHS movies, DVD movies, a printer (that one was the funniest), and a huge box that had a mini yard sale in it (books, jacket for kid, men's jeans, Ikea seahorse light, and plastic yard twirling ribbons). Until it was my turn, I was thinking whatever I got I would swap for the inflatable snow globe coz I thought my dad would like it, he loves that kind of thing. But my gift had two glittery ornaments, dark chocolate pomegranate seeds, Belgian chocolate minis, and sterling silver plated earrings. Dad lost out to sparkley and chocolatey. Sorry Dad!

Much humor and laughter. My friend L (it was her friends' party) ended up swapping to get the Flick. The printer will most likely come back next year as does the Fugly Santa Doll that has been swapped for 10 years and looks certifiable it's that scary looking.

Today, because yesterday was so busy (nice but not much time for reading), I will be curled up with my heat-deprived cats reading short story anthologies of Christmas crimes and murders. I have 4 of them plus a "More Holmes for the Holidays" anthology which has different authors offering up holiday cheer and mayhem that is Sherlock-related. I plan on not moving an inch, well, just to go pee but then right back to the warm cozy book/cat-lined nest.

Home Holiday Emergency Surgery of Sorts

Apparently at some point during the still cold night when all the creatures were supposed to not be stirring, Moomin decided to love on the Christmas tree. And the tree gifted him with a good dollop of sap.

I did not know this until after the furry folk had their breakfast and were each busily huddled around their own hot air registers washing faces and paws whilst sending me urgent telepathic messages to keep the heat coming. I was sending verbal messages back that they have fur coats and to stop acting like I'm a penny-pinching-thrifty-assed mother. (I may be when it comes to me but not them, I pay for all their food, vet visits, litter, and toy/catnip habits).

So I picked up Moo to hug and kiss him all over his warm softy goodness when I did the typical cat-mom thing and cleaned his eye boogers. One booger refused to come off and was below his eye. Odd.

On closer examination, I discovered the wad of sap clumping the fur under his eye together creating a nice hurty mat. Caternal instincts to the fore! Hot water! Paper towel! Flea comb (coz it's very fine toothed)! To work!

Nothing, that sap refused to budge. I'll give Moomin credit, throughout the initial sap-removing phase he was a gem - passive, relaxed, tolerant, let me scrub and pull and comb and wash rinse repeat many times.

Then I realized I needed to do way more. Personal shaver? no, he wouldn't sit still for that, the noise would send him flying out of my arms and avoiding me for a long time. Scissors? yes, but oh did that idea make my heart and hands sweat. So close to his eye, no room for error.

But that's what I did. Moomin stayed physically still for this part of the operation but he expressed verbal protest through growling. I tried to lovingly reassure him but he wasn't having any of it. Finally I sternly asked his unhappy ass if he wanted to go to the vet. He stopped growling immediately and I was able to get a very close cut, almost a shave.

Operation accomplished. All the sap removed. Along with fur. I told Moomin his bald spot makes him look distinguished. He's disgusted with the whole situation.

Very merry holiday home surgery!

After Turkey Day Bliss

Thanksgiving holiday we all had something we loved and are thankful for:

• Riley had two woodsy walks on Turkey Day and a playdate on Saturday.
• I had four days of reading, rest, and relaxation.
• Dad had two major platefuls of turkey + all the fixin's (with accompanying tummy issues) and lots of napping.
• Mom had bread and wine and Scrabble.

"Take Charge" Sophie and big piece of wood. What more could Riley ask for other than turkey dinner droppings on the floor?

I Just Learned How to Remove Blemishes!

From photos, not for shizzle.

Me and my pseudonephew...

Six Of One, Half Dozen of The Other

Part One:

So I'm driving to work Tuesday morning completely on "autopilot". I get within eyesight of my building when I look in the rear view mirror and see blue lights aflashin'. I pull over so he can pass me. He pulls in behind me. I think, "oh, it's me? It's ME!"

Policeman: Do you know why I pulled you over?

Me: Honestly, I have no idea.

Policeman: What's the speed limit for this area?

Me (thinking really hard): 35?

Policeman: No, 30. Do you know how fast you were going?

Me: I'm sorry, I was totally on autopilot and have absolutely no idea.

Policeman: 51.

Me: Holy crap! (yes I did say this)

Policeman: Where you headed?

Me (pointing right across the intersection): Right there to that building.

Policeman: What do you do for work?

Me: I'm a -------. (field of Autism/mental retardation)

Policeman: Do you like your job?

Me: Yes I do, it's like getting a new puzzle every day.

Policeman: When was your last speeding ticket?

Me: Maybe about 2 yrs ago, I really can't remember.

Policeman: I need your license, proof of insurance, and registration. Thank you, I'm going to run you thru the system and I'll be right back.

Me: Okay.

Me sitting there looking at the building, waving occasionally in case co-workers happen to look out the window and see me with the pretty blue flashing lights.

Policeman (after coming back): Well, your last speeding ticket was four years ago and you've had two warnings since then. (Pause - hands me my stuff) I've seen alot of deer on this road, you need to be more careful. Your car would lose against a deer.

Me: I've never seen deer but the turkeys have scared the crap out of me several times.

Policeman: Well, you're doing God's work and I want you to be careful now.

Me: So I'm all set?

Policeman: Yes, you take care and pay attention.

Me: I promise to do my best to stop driving on autopilot. Thank you sir, you have a good day.

Policeman: You do that and you too.

I drive into the parking lot and a co-worker, who'd been getting something from her car, waves me down and says "that was you?" "yep" "do you know who that was?" "a policeman?" "no, silly..." and she proceeds to tell me who he was. Man was I one lucky girl telling him I enjoyed my job.

Part Two:

I have the day off today so I take my car in for it's "winterizing" appointment to get the tires rotated, wipers replaced, fluids checked, and a free super wash/wax at my Honda service which is about 40 minutes away from home. I spend my day wandering around the mall after the car was done, taking my time trying all sorts of things on and driving the sales people crazy coz I'm giving them a buttload to fold and put back, and finally homeward-bound I pick up food and litter for the kittos with my 10% off coupon. I get back in the car after loading the said food and litter, turn the car on, and lo and behold... my car informs me via the lit-up wrench symbol that it's time for an oil change! And I'm 3 miles from home! Rassin' frassin' sassin' @#$%^&! I was just there, dangnabit! So now I have to call tomorrow and schedule an oil change.

Just the way my luck works. Not complaining, just commenting. I love not getting a ticket and if I have to pay with two trips to the car place, sobeit.

Good Day... Sunshine

We had a great sunshiny weekend. The three of them did this while I was outside slaving and raking. I will try to get a pic of all the piles before this weekend so you can see how funny my yard looks. My arms still hurt like the dickens. Moomin's pooper is fine now, but Hobbes has constipation so I've been giving him little bits of skim milk to expedite his pooper. If it's not one thing it's another, brudda.

Reboot the Ole Poop Chute

Turns out Moomin doesn't have a bladder infection, he's got the big D! Yep, he's got a bad case of diarrhea.

The vet had shot him full of SubQ fluids (subcutaneous fluids to those of us who had to ask) and I gave him a double helping of water for dinner and bedtime snack. So he was chock full of liquids.

I put him in the spare room with the sprinkling of non-absorbent pellets in an old litter box and water and our evening TV watching blanket. When it came time to let him out of the room yesterday morning, I saw that he did the big D once in the box and twice outside of it and those little black pellets were all over the place.

I was half right... and am still amazed he didn't pee at all. Believe me, I've gone over the room with a fine tooth flashlight and nose and there's no sign of pee. Super bright shiny side of the coin is that I just had to clean up poop which is easy and has no special long lasting smell remnants instead of cat urine which would have ruined my hardwood floors.

He held all those fluids all damn night. I followed him to the closet litter boxes and managed to catch an awesome pee sample. He let me slide that bowl right under him and he whizzed away, for quite some time.

I took the pee sample to the vet along with a fresh big D. They tested both, urine fine and poop is free of parasites. I'd already started the fasting regimen the vet suggested. Fasting for a cat is not having food for 24 hours which means they empty out their internal septic tank coz there's nothing coming in and the thought is as they empty the pooper, whatever is causing the big D comes out too. And hopefully, the next day the poop chute has been rebooted.

So Moo, along with Doo and Hobber (who had to join the miserableness coz it's not fair to eat in front of your fasting comrade) had no breakfast, dinner, or bedtime snack yesterday. They were all VERY happy to have breakfast this morning.

Apparently, things are on track now... yeah for me and my weekend!

I Have Had Quite the Day

First, Moomin greeted me after my shower with "in and out" litter box behavior. I immediately checked the box and found numerous small pee clumps that Moomin had considerately scattered all over the boxes which made cleaning up a tremendous treat.

I worried all morning but could do nothing about it so off to work and meetings. Second meeting cancelled after I arrived. I'd missed the flea infestation message. I decided to reschedule.

Driving on my way back from the cancelled meeting, I heard this massive KAH-POW!!! and the ass-end of the truck in front of me did this lifting shimmy. I braked to slow down but I didn't see anything. While I was trying to decide what to do, suddenly all these black fragments came spewing out from under the truck. I executed a majorly fast lane switch! Then because the truck driver finally realized something happened and pulled over into the breakdown lane, I had to switch lanes again coz he hadn't fully committed to the breakdown lane.

Get to work, called the vet at 3pm, they strongly suggested I bring Moomin in due to his past history of bladder issues, I did, got him there, he got sniffed by a very old black lab with dribble issues, and come to find out the office gremlins have done away with Moomin's file. The vet's assistant said this tends to happen, the folders sometimes get put back inside another file, and she has a DooBee who comes in once a month to go thru all the files to look for stuff like this. She said the files have always turned up. I didn't mention my special Murphy's Law luck. Let them be perky and optimistic.

Tonight when I go to bed, I have to shut Moomin up in the spare bedroom with water and a box with a sprinkling of black non-absorbent pellets to catch a pee sample tonight. The vet's assistant thinks this plan of action is going to work. Again with letting them be perky and optimistic. I know that Moomin isn't going to pee in a practically empty litter box with some strange little black pellets that don't even cover the bottom of the box and he's going to yodel by the door all night. Doodle, Houdini girl that she is, is going to spend the night trying her damndest to get the door open. Sleep, HAH! I think I prefer staying up and following Moomin around all night to get a pee sample to the special kind of hell that will be tonight.

I Am the Sizzle

On Saturday I met my newborn pseudoniece, spoiled my pseudonephew who will be turning 5 soon (5! OMG where has the time gone, he was just a newborn who snuggled in my arms like a nugget a minute ago and a toddler who I could coax out of a tantrum by doing a Joey impression and asking him "how you doin'?" a second ago), and spent some quality grown-up time with my good friend J2.

J2 and I and new baby went to Target so J2 could purchase some new momma supplies and I could follow her around having Target-induced ADD by getting distracted by this that and the other and Magpie-itis picking this that and the other up. We giggled alot and admired baby E alot.

So we stopped in front of the lingerie section and commented on some of the items on prominent display out by the main aisle. She was explaining for me, the total non-lingerie girl, the merits of a garter belt paired with stockings and the benefits of different lace undies. She said what guy doesn't like a lace body suit with a snap crotch. I responded by saying the snaps weren't very comfortable. She said they wouldn't be snapped for long and we giggled.

Then I pointed to what I think was a baby doll teddy - a black lace bra with black see-thru fabric attached underneath. Fabric testing the hem with one hand, I said "I'd prefer something that wouldn't get in the way" while simultaneously lifting the side of my sweater with my other hand and hitching my bootilicious low-rise jeans up (so called because they are close fitting and every time I bend over, it's a crackfest, so I make sure my shirts are long enough to keep me modest).

Thereby causing a passing male to trip over an invisible obstacle as he tried not to eavesdrop, stare, and keep walking past us all at the same time.

J2 and I of course turned towards him when we heard his sneaker skid and the stumble. We were good. We didn't laugh until he was out of range.

Ssssst. Sizzle. Someone flip me over.

Continuing in the Squashity Vein

I just made a casserole using my home-grown squash and it smells freakin' awesome.

I tried it while I was putting it together and it already tasted heavenly so even tho I haven't tried the finished product, it. will. be. great!

It looks wunnerful too. I can't wait to have it for dinner tomorrow.

The recipe template (key word: template coz I took the recipe and did some major additions) came from a book sale find called "Country Casseroles". A paperback thin pamphletty type book. The original recipe is called Squash Supreme and is credited to Mary Fisher (Madison, Wisconsin) but with my tweaks it is now called...

Sam's Squash Supreme

6 cups sliced yellow summer squash

1 whole small to mid-sized Vidalia onion chopped

1 tsp salt

1 pkg Jimmy Dean regular sausage

1 can (10 3/4 oz) of condensed cream of chicken soup undiluted

1 pkg already julienned/shredded carrots

1 pkg (2 cups) shredded chz of your choice (I used a parmesan mozzarella mix)

1 cup (8oz) sour cream

1 pkg (8oz) seasoned stuffing mix

1/2 cup butter melted

*optional: Mrs. Dash's Table Blend to taste

1. In a large skillet, cook-saute the onions in butter while you are slicing the squash so the onions get slightly browned.
2. Add sliced squash and cook-saute until squash is tender, floppy, and sort of transparent.
3. Drain well, but don't turn off the burner.
4. While skillet is still hot, brown the sausage.
5. Combine soup, sour cream, carrots, and chz.
6. Add sausage.
7. Fold in squash.
8. Mix well and gently.
9. Toss stuffing mix with 1/2 cup melted butter.
10. To assemble casserole: spoon one half of stuffing over bottom of greased big casserole dish (I used the biggest Pyrex I own), top with squash mixture, and sprinkle top with remaining stuffing.
11. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes.

Mammoth Pumpkin To Be

So this is the result of my mammoth pumpkin experiment so far, it's only been growing since about the 2nd week of August. Despite the suck-ass weather, it's growing quite well. Let's hope it continues to do well.

Glove for sizing purposes.

Can You Say "M-F'in H.O.T"?

I knew that you could.

The past week and this weekend have been like living in someone's mouth.

If we lived in a big city, I'm sure it would be like living in someone's armpit.

Hot. Humid. Even at night. No relief.

I'm trying to stick it out and not break down and put my air conditioner in, but the fans are just about not cutting it.

It cooled down two degrees with a mild breeze on Tuesday so I sucked it up and mowed my lawn which was out of control. 3 weeks plus some days was almost too long to wait.

Saturday I dogsat. Riley and I had one fiercely hot walk. I told him we were going to walk slow and he listened. I also told him I was not going to run amok in the back yard and he accepted that. Basically all he wanted was for me to give him the frozen peanut butter filled Kong and skedaddle while he wallowed in front of the air conditioner at my parents' house. The life of Riley.

I went to my friend J2's baby shower today. Talk about a roomful of women and no air conditioning, just two fans pushing warm air around. I got to be the "present scribe" and the present list was sticking to my hands and wrists. Talk about UGH!

My car has air. My office has air. Some of the homes I visit have air. Stores have air. So I'm managing. Just barely (barely being an operative word).

On a positive note, my hair has been incredible - lots of body and curls with very little effort. Looks good with my summer tan.

A little TMI - I've started putting deodorant in places other than under my arms.

I've also discovered putting rubbing alcohol on cotton "rounds" (basically smushed flat cotton balls that are somewhat quilted) and swabbing my face before I go to bed to remove the schweaty film on my skin. I know, should be immensely drying and would never attempt to do this in the fall or winter, but with the humidity what's to dry out?

I've been working with different fan configurations in the bedroom and last night I think I've stumbled on a good set up. Last night I actually got cold towards dawn! We'll have to see about tonight because it's raining and I can't have the windows open like I did last night.

Yes, it finally started raining today about 5pm. Heavy at times. Which is good on one hand because then I don't have to water what little garden I have or the hydrangea bush but on the other hand, I don't think it's going to break the humidity cycle.

Well, my fingers are sticking to the keys and my wrists to the table. There's two fans with my name on them in my bedroom. Time to read and cool off.

Maybe.

Happy B'day To Me!

Yesterday was my b'day! And while I did not have protesters a'la Madonna, I also did not have to suffer the "Elvis is dead" Syndrome like past birthdays.

It was a great birthday:

• My parents were in town for a change.
• I slept in.
• I got to shop and have a great late lunch with my mom.
• I browsed a book store for book crack.
• I got homemade birthday cake and ice-cream and candles. (Aside note: if you put the Kaluha cake in the fridge, the Kaluha gets VERY potent, I almost have a buzz going on from my piece tonite).
• I got two birthday calls from very good friends.
• I got a book present from my brother.

My Top 10 High Schooler Summer Reads

When I was in high school, we lived in Germany, West Germany that is. Before the unification of Deutschland. Anyhoo, the high school I attended was a mix of the American and British school systems with a definite listing towards the American. The school library was so very teeny tiny... an unpleasant difference from the big huge libraries back in the States I was used to spending hours in. It was extremely difficult to get my book fix and I usually ended up re-reading favorites every season or more. So figure one book got read at least 4x/year and 5+ times a year at the most. Summers we'd visit the States and I would stock up at book stores, snapping up these favorites if I saw them. These were the books I couldn't live without (and in no particular order):

1) Crystal Singer - Anne McCaffery (science fiction): I practically memorized this book I read it so many times. I so wanted to learn how to cut crystal, have a symbiotic alien enhance my strength/endurance and make me practically immortal, and eat all the foods they craved during "the hunger". Nothing like sci-fi with a strong-willed female lead character successfully overcoming her flaws to an angst-ridden teenager, balm to the soul.

2) Windhaven - Lisa Tuttle and George R. R. Martin (science fiction): Another strong-willed female lead character successfully overcoming her flaws only this time instead of crystal cutting, it's flying. And while flying is made to sound really really alluring, I was never once tempted to want to try sky diving or hand gliding. I usually devoured this book endless times right after Crystal Singer.

3) The Nursery - David Lippincott (horror): This very little known gem showed me that while I thought I had it bad with my parents, they were nothing like the psycho couple the lead character ends up dealing with. I bought this book in a Vienna train station one night on our way back from a weekend school drama trip and stayed up all night on the train ride home reading it to the end. Then promptly read it again when I got home, but slower this time.

4) Gloriana - Michael Moorcock (alternate reality): This book is wonderful, it combines an alternate Elizabethan I reality, fantasy, magic, murder, mayhem, conspiracy, sex, and writing I can only compare to a huge box of absolutely delicious chocolates that no matter how much you eat, you want more. And there's no fear of calories or nauseousness. Rich and wonderful.

5) The Long Walk - Rich Bachman (Stephen King actually although I didn't know it at the time - sci-fi/horror): This gruesome dark book was a perfect high school read. Fully realized believable characters that you either cared for or hated, just like the people you were going to school with. Very detailed which made my anal-retentive heart go pitter pat. Scary in that you wonder how well you'd do in the same situation and when you'd end up... A damn fine story with an unusual unhappy ending, finally.

6) Sphinx - Robin Cook (suspense): This was actually a find that our American neighbors up the street had. They generously allowed me to plunder their book collection and while reading Nero Wolfe was alright, this book was great. Light reading for me but the story was well-told, fast-paced, and set in Egypt with strong-willed female lead character on a search for ancient treasure. (Guessing you can see a trend by now?)

7) Banners of Silk - Rosiland Laker (historical romance): I read this book to tatters, bought a new copy, read that one to tatters, and am most likely on my 5th or 6th copy. I finally found the original hardback version and that's my "good" copy (I have a back-up HB copy as well, call me crazy, I won't deny it!). Something about this book... I could say it's the writing, the characters, the dresses, the story, but that doesn't get to it. It's all those things and more. It's a book that strikes a chord and I love it and read it over and over and over.

8) The Fortress - Gabrielle Lord (horror/suspense): IF this was treated right, this book would make a great movie. But then all really good books that you stay up all night to finish and then have bad dreams about are never made into good movies because they never match what your imagination accomplishes. This book rocks, still. I finally got an out-of-print copy and it is exactly as good as I remember it. A teacher and students pitted against terrorizing kidnappers in Australia - that's all I can tell ya!

9) Anne of Green Gables series - L.M. Montgomery: I love reading this series. I read the first book to the last and cram a lifetime in a relatively brief span. Again one of those books where the writing, characters, and story just click and I can't pinpoint exactly why. Wait, maybe it's because while I'm reading it, I'm in the story and not aware that I'm reading. That's it, that complete suspension of reality.

10) Moomintroll series - Tove Jansson: Yes, these books are on the younger side but the stories, writing, and pictures are so engaging that I still find myself coning back to them again and again.

Common trend (in most of the books): strong-willed flawed female protagonist who has serious issues/dangers to overcome be it on a different planet, alternate reality, outback, in the distant past, or modern day.

What these books did for me in high school (and do so even today): due to a combination of great writing/great stories/great characters/great details = suspended reality and made me leave my life for a while never once feeling like I was reading a story, but actually seeing it unfold before me (granted in my head, but still).

Moomin's Weekend Friend

So Moomin was looking out the window when a huge fuzzy bumbly bee landed on the screen for a wash break. It hung out for about 10 minutes meticulously grooming legs/feet/wings. Moomin enjoyed every moment although as soon as the bee stopped moving, Moomin took to watching the crows across the street.

Here he is trying to make contact. I'm such an overprotective mamacat that I did not fall for his cuteness and open the window. Stinging is not fun. Ripped screens are not fun.

Two days of Slambo sunbathing this weekend! I am one delicious caramel fudge brownie! And yes, I'm being careful for all you sun-naysayers. I'm wearing sunscreen on my face and only staying out for short periods of time. I am feeling healthier this summer with all the vitamin D I've been soaking up and I'm definitely looking healthier too. Come this winter I will again fade to fish belly white. I might have to buy a "happy light". Huh (snort).

My Chimney Has a TopHat

I finally got my flashing fixed/replaced.

With all the rain we've been having, mostly heavy and driving, Dad's jerry-rigged tar patch finally gave out and I've been experiencing a "River Runs Through It" on my living room wall.

My roofer contractor is reputedly one of the top guys in the area so he can pick and choose his jobs after playing golf and bar-hopping. Yeah, I know, doesn't sound promising, but he came highly and reliably recommended and if he's that good that he can do what he wants when he wants and everyone wants him, then I don't have any complaints.

Neither does my wall. No more leaks! And he guaranteed his work. And he was reasonably priced. He did say the local squirrels snacking on my lead are eligible for mental disability coverage. Well, at least the ones not run over by cars.

And he let me know my chimney is NOT lined and advised me NEVER to use a woodstove. Makes me wonder how my home's previous owners avoided burning the house down around them because there was a woodstove hooked up when I purchased it. It's still in the basement, full of ashes, just no longer hooked up to the chimney.

He put a top hat on the top of my chimney to keep critters, debris, and rain out of it. Apparently I didn't have one of those either. Go figure, I've had this house since '99. He was concerned about "wicking" which leads to wearing and leaking of the chimney inside - brickwise but as the Universe looks after fools and drunks, I don't have any evidence of that.

One more repair down. Several more to go... but not right now, or soon, or even in a while. I need to percolate some more.

Giant Pumpkin Update

Houston, despite my timely manual matchmaking efforts, we now have a rotting head-sized pumpkin that is beginning to resemble something halfway solid a child has upchucked.

I am SO disappointed but not very surprised given the insane wet weather we've been having.

On the up side, the vine is busy attempting two or three more pumpkins and with the male and female flowers finally in sync, I don't have to "show them the way".

But I'm not holding my breath for any pumpkins this year. My other regular pumpkin vines are just growing forth greenly, not having any babies yet.

I did manage to get 4 yellow squash.

My BiPolar Potato Salad

Or "Hot/Cold Potato Salad" or even "Two Part Potato Salad" if you prefer my more PC names. I myself prefer the nonPC name - "BiPolar Potato Salad".

This is my new summer "catnip" recipe. I describe certain meals as "catnip" because I can't get enough of them and would roll around in them if I were a cat.

So...

The Cold or Manic Part:

• One bundle of green onions - cut with scissors, oh so much easier
• One bundle/stalk/set of celery - diced into nice little centimeter pieces
• One bag of julienned carrots - chopped into little centimeter pieces
• Optional: one yellow pepper - chopped into little centimeter pieces
• Trust me, you are going to want to take the anal retentive/OCD time to make the pieces small.
• One package of real bacon bits (Oscar Mayer) (optional, but you're gonna miss 'em)
• One 5oz container of fresh shredded Asiago cheese (optional, I love me some dairy)
• Mix all of these in a big ass bowl and refrigerate til potatoes are done.

The Hot or Lethargic Part:

• One mesh bag of purple or russet baby/mini potatos
• Boil them up while doing the Cold/Manic chopping part.
• Once easy to poke with a fork, stop the water.
• Take them out one at a time and put in a tupperware or other plastic bowl (with a top that fits)
• Mash/chunk them with a fork.
• Add Ranch dressing and Ginger Soy Sauce to taste. I can't give you measurements coz I just add and mix until the potatoes are a chunky-creamy texture and taste like heaven. One hint, more Ranch than Ginger Soy sauce, but it has to be Ginger Soy, god that stuff is yummy!

Putting it all together or BiPolar Part:

• Bring out the cold veggie mix.
• Ladle as much of it as you want in a bowl. I like pasta bowls for this.
• Then take about a cup with a little + of the potato mixture and put on top of the veggies.
• Mix the potatoes and veggies together, ideally you want each bite to have p's and v's together!
• Put the cold veggies away.
• Put the potatoes away.
• DO NOT MIX THEM!! Keep them in separate containers.
• Only mix together what you are going to eat. I can't stress this enough!

What makes this salad work is that the veggies stay crisp and cool and delish.

And the potatoes are warm and comfort-foodish.

Together=bliss.

If you work it right, there will be more veggies than potatoes each helping and you'll run out of both at the same time if you keep this in mind. If you try to make them equal, you will run out of potatoes very quickly. For us calorie conscious people, we need the veggies to be the bigger portion. Besides the potatoes are almost too good to have too much of, although I've gone there. The veggies really balance out the over-goodness of the potatoes.

Leftovers or Post Crisis Potatoes:

• When you want more the next day, just heat the amt of p's you want in a bowl.
• After they are warm, ladle on the cool v's and mix and you are ready to go.

The BugFest That Was This Weekend

I swear I encountered every freakin' bug that lives in my yard, my parents' yard, and on the dogsitting walk this weekend. I had to bugspray myself good to just sunbathe.

You name it;

Mosquitos (poor Riley, if I hadn't coated his buttocks with Burt's Bees bug repellent... he sorely needed it while taking a poop in the woods. God they're ferocious!)

Earwigs

Big juicy black ants

Tiny red ants

Slugs (okay, so they aren't "bugs" but they are pests)

Flies

Horse flies

Deer flies

Bees

Wasps

Some other very large flying stinging creature that I did not care to investigate closely

Grasshoppers

Moths

Midges

Gnats

The striped bugs eating the squash and pumpkin leaves

Japanese beetles

Some other kind of beetle that was black

And spiders, tons of those too;

The Bad Ass Big Yellow spiders (BABYs)

Daddy Long Legs

The zebra-striped jumping ones

The brown nonwebbers that scuttle frantically when startled (usually found around the soil)

Tunnel spiders

And of course, the garden orb spider as seen below.

It's a wonder I wasn't carried off and sucked dry.

Out and About Doin' the Hooligout

I went out with new friend, L, last night. When she came to my house to transfer over to my car (she drove last time we went out), my neighbor was out sweeping her steps. When she saw me, she said, "wow, you're smokin' tonight!" Of course she's only ever seen me in lawn-mowing mode and bedraggled after-work mode, so seeing me with smoky eyes, blonde curls, a crisp white buttondown showing some cleavage, and a short skinny jean skirt with heels that made my legs look like they started at my chin was a bit of an eye opener for her. L told her I don't go out enough and my neighbor agreed and said she hoped the smokin' effect wreaked some havoc on the male gender. And it did, but so not the way I expected...

We went to a neighboring town's restaurant/bar for a late dinner and some beverages. The waitress was super sweet, the chicken tenders were super crunchy, and the drinks were super weak. I convinced L that staying for expensive weak drinks and bad Karaeoke (sp?) was not how I wanted to spend the rest of the evening so we left and moved on to another local hang out.

The drinks were better but the live band sucked ass, literally and figuratively. We sat and chatted and texted my best friend J in Florida. We ran into someone L knows and chatted with him for a while. One of the locals hit on L.

Next thing we know, this spiffily dressed - and when I say spiffy I mean SPIFFY, he had on a sparkly belt, rhinestone pins scattered on his shirt, rings practically on every finger, I swear I saw several earrings in one ear, coiffed white hair, those old-time shoes that look like a cross between fancy one-color bowling shoes and blue suede shoes but his were white - older man comes waltzing (and I do mean waltzing and if it wasn't waltzing it was skipping, or floating, or gamboling) into the bar and immediately (after equipping himself with a beer) starts buzzing around the women like a bee dipping into each flower. He asked each of them to dance, some nice ones took him up on his offer but most didn't. He buzzed around our table and stayed to talk A LONG time after we both politely said no to dancing. L left to go to the bathroom and the man stayed and proceeded to regale me with mini risque stories, drop one-liners like "if you can keep up with me till 5am, I treat you to breakfast", tell blonde jokes with the blonde always coming out on top "because we blondes need to stick together" (he considered his white hair his blonde ticket), compliment me, touch my arm high enough up to cop a fleeting feel of my boobie, put his hand on my knee or my shoulder, and while it sounds like harassment as I write it down, it was truly innocuous due to how light-hearted and in the moment he was, and it wasn't threatening or icky. It was more like Puck in human form having a blast amongst the women-flowers. (He reminded me alot of Gpa out skating.) Anyhoo. After he left our table one time (he came back numerous times), these other two guys asked us if he was bothering us. We said no and they said he comes out all the time, looking to dance up a storm, in fact his local nickname is "Geezer Pimp" coz of all the bling he wears and his propensity for women. So my smokin' appearance led to being hit on by 78 year old Geezer Pimp!

Next up, much later in the evening, a man comes up and asks if we'd dance with his friend who's going off to Iraq in three days. Both L and said we weren't dancing but they were welcome to sit at our table with us. They came over and proceeded to joke and overshare - it was that time of night. Both of them were Navy, one was 21 and the other was 22 years old, and both were finding Maine an experience. First Guy was from California and had never experienced 50degree temps and saw snow for the first time last winter. Second Guy hailed from Ohio and it turns out his brother is attending my alma mater. How funny is that? First Guy said he was feeling funny about wearing shorts out to the bar because back in Cali you wear long pants out clubbing. I told him there is no clubbing in Maine, it's bar hopping and shorts are norm. L used the word "wicked" to describe something and they just about fell out of their chairs. First Guy said in Cali they say "hella" for "wicked". So we all had to come up with funny hella and wicked phrases with me topping the fun using the F-bomb. First Guy thought I was a riot and told me so several times. After much double meaning and risque talk, the bar was closing and we decided to walk over to another bar and see if there were going to be any fights. There weren't but First Guy offered to go back to my place and "do a little sumpin' sumpin'." I thanked him for his kind offer but had to decline as I was interested in someone else's sumpin' sumpin'. And so my smokin' appearance led to be hit on by a 22 year old.

Go figure, I was hit on by someone who could be my grandfather and by someone who could be my son all in the same night. Now that's got to be good for a drinking game.

Two And A Half Men Speak

"There's not enough bowel movements left!"

"Shut-the-hell-up-shoe"

"Turd in the punchbowl"

"Did your blow-up doll run away with a pool toy?"

"Vodka, Scotch, Whiskey - blond, brunette, and redhead - Charlie's Angels"

"Deep down she's several people and they're all bent."

"I ain't hitting her positive attributes, so I don't give a rat's ass!"

"I now pronounce you fruit basket and nut case. May God have mercy on your souls."

"The head that made the promise isn't the head that broke it."

"It's not a sausage problem, more in the meatball area."

"Swamp ass." "You'd know if you had swamp ass." "A kid in my school had swamp ass and a cat followed him around for 3 weeks."

Just had to share the gigglefest.

VacaPics Using iPhoto

Some belated postings of a few vaca pics. I finally got brave enough for the iMac to suck my photos off my camera. Tonight I've discovered two things I need help with: 1) how to get back to the original photo after I've tweaked it and 2) how to make my photos more blogworthy (read: smaller and crappier quality) instead of huge shiny glistening files that take a long time to upload to the blog. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing!

Ah, whitish sand and turquoise water.

My bestest friend J, her daughter M, and two youngsters L and S.

And this is my youngster. Fortunately the zoo is taking care of it for me.

My haul on one of my two beach-going days. I mailed them back to myself.

Endless vista that I miss.

Male and Female Pumpkin Flowers

The female flower is low on the vine growing off a mini-starter baby pumpkin and when the wide blossom opens up it has a very fat almost foot-stool shaped middle. I have no idea what the technical term for the middle is - stamen?

The male flower is on a tall stalk growing straight up from the vine, the blossom is not as wide and has a much thinner longer middle part - tech term pistil?

Anyhoo, the idea is to get the tall flower's pollen (located on the longer thinner middle part) onto the low flower's fat middle part - thus creating a fertilized pumpkin. How you can tell you did the procedure correctly is that the mini-starter pumpkin instead of not growing and rotting away, starts to swell almost immediately the day after you played matchmaker.

You can do this for squash, zucchini, and cucumbers.

So now you know. Happy fertilizing!

Gardening factoids courtesy of my Mom, Wednesday's Child, and her "gay zucchini story" which is not only educational but extremely pants-wetting as well. Thank you, oh, Master Gardner, you!

Like a Good Neighbor...

Slambo is there.

Once again I'm in charge of watering my neighbor's plants while she is away. But this year I really haven't had to because of all the rain. I totally lucked out in that respect. Besides, the deer or some other wild suburban animals have been extreme-barbering the dahlias I injured last year.

On the other hand, I don't think she arranged for anyone to mow her lawn so I've taken it upon myself to be a good neighbor and mow hers when I mow mine. Our lawns merge after all and when I mow my side lawn, her unmown grass is VERY noticeable, not to mention unsightly.

So I mowed two yards (back and front) today after work before the rain settles in again this weekend. And it was very humid. And buggy. And I was a drippy schweaty mess. God how I dislike heat/humidity.

At work we are dealing with a salmonella outbreak in the downstairs part of the building. Adding diarrhea to hot and humid weather. Instant big time fun.

I was just informed yesterday that my famous or "infamous" (depending on what level a health nut you are) party pretzels have been requested for a bake sale for next week. I've been told that people buy them in bulk and are hugely disappointed when they're gone. In addition to the Reese's PB baking bits (crushed) flavor, I'm substituting mini choc chips for crushed M&M baking bits (what a pain in the ass crushing them is) with some sprinkles added for color and a new flavor of crushed Whoppers. I had an idea for a healthy version - fruit bits with mini choc chips, sort of like trail mix glued onto a pretzel - but the powers that be tell me no one wants the party pretzels to be healthy.

It's supposed to be hot and humid all weekend, I'm not really looking forward to spending time over the stove with a double boiler full of white chocolate and trays upon trays of candy coated pretzels.

I'm just too damn nice for my own good.

Pumpkin Artificial Insemination

Yep, you read right...

Mom started my giant pumpkin seed from scratch and when I got back from vaca the beginning of June, it was a massive green healthy seedling.

I made a mound of dirt, compost, and manure-y mulch and planted it in my back landscape garden.

And then it proceeded to rain, and rain, and rain, and rain, and rain, and oh, rain some goddamn more.

The vine has been growing S.L.O.W.L.Y. and small yellow and black striped bugs have been massively a-munching the leaves.

About 4 beginning pumpkins failed because the girlie flowers were not opening the same time as the boy flowers - so no naturally occurring pumpkin-sex.

Monday before work, I noticed a female flower in open bloom and one lone male flower open and ready to go... but not a busy bee or bug to be seen. I took matchmaking matters in my own hands and proceeded to administer artificial insemination.

Meaning I picked the male flower, bent back the petals, and swirled the male flower parts around inside the female flower.

Today the fruit of my labors is swelling. Houston, we have a giant pumpkin a-growin'. Halleluyah!

Can I Get a WhooHoo??!!

I am making this post from my very new computer!

It's a 20 inch iMac and it. is. AWESOME!

My head is bigger than the keyboard.

The monitor is WAY bigger than my head. Not to mention everything is stuffed into the monitor, so no more tower under the desk or taking up room on the desk.

I have no words. Just AWESOME.

Oh, and I'm going to have to spend some time getting to know the newbie because it is VASTLY different from the PC I was using and the laptop I'm using at work.

Apple did my data transfer for free for me as part of my One To One service package so I've checked and all my pictures seem to be in iPhoto. Apparently this computer is so smart, I just plug my camera in and it SUCKS them right out with not having to go thru my camera's program and then save to My Pictures folder to get pics on the blog. I also have access to free tutorials on the web and can sign up for 1:1 tutorials at the Apple store. All part of the One To One service package for a year.

Oh, and I can call AppleCare for help whenever I want and they can talk me thru probs as they occur. AppleCare will also replace my hard drive if something major unrepairable should happen. If that is at all possible.

Well, the cats have been super patient with me and I have to go feed them. And get ready to watch WipeOut and knit some more on my mom's Mother's Day scarf. I've got to unravel quite a bit as what I wanted to do isn't working and I gotta go with the basics so it looks much better and won't roll up.

Blog ya later!

Wow, It's Been a While...

Sorry to all of you riveted readers who have been jones-ing for a current post...

But I've been flat-out at work,
Went on week's vaca,
Brother is in town,
And I'm still flat-out at work.

Good news,

I went to Florida for vaca to visit J and jammed A LOT into my week: M was there (which was VERY awesome!), thunderstorms, zoo, fondue restaurant, bbq party, beaches, shelling, pool, darts, 2 strip clubs, a casino, some shopping, used book stores, and found a Wii videogame that I finally like and can somewhat play. And I found the perfect perfume for my bestest friend who has been searching for two years to replace her discontinued favorite kind! I sum up my vacation as "Tornados, Casinos, and Titties, Oh My!"

Other good news,

With my baby brother in town, I get to access his vast computer mentality and I may end up with a new computer before or by the time he leaves. Can I get a WHOO-HOO!?

So, I promise to try to get back on the blogging track now that all my shows have gone beddy-bye for the summer but I can't 100% promise this as I'm pretty much doing 5-8 hours straight on my computer at work every day and frankly, I'm extremely sick of keyboards and monitors and mice and misbehaving servers when I come home.

Baby's Got Her Car Butt Back

My car's butt has been fixed and now looks just like it should - new and red and shiny and scratchless. Priceless!

Basically they just took the back bumper off like a Lego piece, buffed, repainted, and baked it. Now it has to "cure" for at least 30 days before I get the ResistAll put back on.

I got to drive a Chevy Cobalt for two days as my loaner-car. This car was like driving a brick with behavior issues - clunky, hard to steer, and it always wanted to go to the right and when I made it go to the left, it took it to extremes. I'm surprised I wasn't pulled over for erratic driving.

So, yes, my car is "devalued" while still "almost new", but as I plan to keep it as long or longer than my old car (13 yrs) and it looks like new again (shiny butt!), I'm not really all that concerned about it's value to anyone other than moi.

My Fit Got Hit A Bit

I got swiped in the car-ass today coming back from a meeting by an impatient teenager.

Fortunately it wasn't the flaming fireball flip-over accident that I lucidly dreamed this morning before actually getting up. I guess the Universe likes to send me overly dramatic forewarnings.

I'll take scratches over a totalled car and being fatally crisped and barbequed any day.

Even tho I was upset coz my car is still NEW!

I'm waiting for my claims adjustor to call me so I can decide if I want Geico to take care of it or if I want my insurance to take care of it. The Geico person was pretty aggressive about having them take care of it. I'm thinking I just want to speak to "my people" and then make a decision coz I'm not really psyched about having every last thing overseen by Geico. I'd rather have where I bought the car handle those details. But I'll keep an open mind and make a decision by tomorrow. Mom? Dad? Any input?

I'm hoping that the door whanged into my side, me backing into my garbage can, and this are considered the official grouping of "three" and it will stop here.

I could just be being overly optimistic.

UPDATE: I'm having the teenager's insurance take care of it all. As my neighborhood insurance agency explained - if they're willing to cover it all, have them do so. So I am. Car is being inspected by the claims adjustor and repaired the same day with a covered rental thrown in if I need it. I may need it as paint is involved, I guess there is a "curing" time. "?"

"Prepare to Wet Thy Pants"

So you know there are videos to teach you all sorts of "things",

To "fill in the gaps" of missing skills.

So there's this video called "Hand Made Love".

I kid you not.

It's been non-stop nonPC joking all day...

The video "came" in the mail.

"You can stop at any time."

"Prevent breakage."

"Sensitive Narrator"

"Hands-on Instructor"

"Visual Supports"

"Hand-Over-Hand Guidance"

This could just "keep going and going and..."

I think I'm done...

"Oops," I totally forgot to mention it comes with a "manual".

I have to stop now or I'll just "explode".

Seriously, turn off the computer...

A Bit About My Fit

This car rocks.

It's averaging about 40 miles/gallon.

It defrosts like a demon.

So far it has dealt extremely well with snow, slush, and mud.

(Aside: Mud Season is headed our way very shortly. There is no "spring" in Maine - what the rest of you folks fondly call "spring" is divided into two delightful parts here in the upper Northeast: Mud Season and Black Fly Hell. The first means entire towns smell like cowshit consecutive days on end, unpaved driveways composed of deep mucky ruts waiting for unwary drivers who will need hours of help, a few boards, or a tow to get unstuck, and your yard resembles a manure quagmire loosely covered with a bad toupee made of last season's grass. The second means exactly what it says, the black flies are out and about and jonsing for freshly thawed out and unwrapped humans. Their bites raise bumps that resemble goiters. It's loads of fun.)

It's comfy.

I can open the back windows for fresh blowing air and my hair won't mess up. (My old car didn't have this option and with no air conditioning, my hair was always a mess.)

My parents' dog is ubercomfy in the "magic" seating fold-down maneuver.

Dusting it is a breeze so far.

It thinks for me. It let me know my tire pressure was low and just today it let me know it was due for an oil change. I'd already anticipated the oil change coz I got tired of waiting for the wrench symbol to show up and scheduled an appt earlier this week for tomorrow at the crack of dawn. Yeah me.

I love driving it.

It has intersection balls,

it turns nicely,

it fits into really small parking spaces but I can put a buttload of stuff in it,

and it's damn cute.

Moomin is the Big Three Today!

Happy birthday to my munchkin monkeybutt smarfypants ScoobyMoomin! And it's been an exciting three years. I don't know what I'd do without my morning headbutt-kisses, chainsaw purring, and shoulder-surfing. I know the other cats could do without the Chomping of the Hindparts!

Snap Crapple Poppie

I dare you to say "snap crackle pop" now without messing up. I haven't been able to say it right since I've said it wrong.

So. It's not been the best work-wise and while brushing my teeth just now, I started to dwell on the absolute negativities that have been my recent and present experiences. Then I put an immediate stop to that because there are things that are bright shiny spots, small but extremely bright. And they are:

1) I have found this wonderful line of products for my face and my emerging lines are practically non-existent. Burt's Bees Naturally Ageless (with pomegranate) and Radiance (with royal jelly). I am glow-y, softer, no break-outs for over a month, no dryness, and practically line-free.

2) Burt's Bees products for body lotion and face washing too! Amazing!

3) My mom is home safe from her recent trip.

4) My co-workers made me laugh really hard today. So very needed!

5) My car is great.

6) I have a wonderful home that is no longer leaking somewhere in the basement.

7) I've managed to keep the weight I've lost off for little over a year and all my "gage" clothes still fit.

8) All of the kittos finished their dinners tonight. I've switched foods on them again and am trying a healthier wet food and there's been some resistance from someone striped, dawdling from someone dark and chocolatey, and yarfing from someone spotty.

9) I've done ALL my laundry.

10) I'm concentrating on those bright spots to get me thru the rest of this week.

Pfffftttt. Valentine's Day

Whatever.

Totally jerry-rigged consumer-driven holiday emphasizing loneliness or disfunctional relationships.

I prefer to surprise and be surprised throughout the year at meaningful moments. Not when someone tells me to tell someone I love them with expensive debt-laden or guilt-inducing gifts.

In the anti-spirit of V'sDay, I am going to sleep late, exchange no cards or gifts, hang out with my mom, hang out with my cats, read, nap, knit on my new project, and rest/recharge during my three day weekend.

My people know I love them. And most of them have showed me how much they care with all the support they provided during an extremely trying week. Truly wonderfully blessed am I.

Thank you.

Vent-ilation

Oh my, let me tell you. That movie clerk almost had himself ripped a new butthole, on his face. I went to the movies with a friend on Saturday. We made these plans on Friday afternoon after checking the paper that comes out, every Friday, that tells when the weekend movie times are. We chose "New In Town".

So I get to the theater and I'm waiting for her. She's a bit late and I decide to get my ticket coz it looked like things were going to get busy. I plunk my money down and say "one for New In Town."

He said, "The next showing is 7:20pm".

???????????????????

Me: "What?"

MovieJerk, sorry, Clerk: "The next showing is at 7:20pm."

Me: "It's supposed to be 1:20pm."

MovieJerk, errr, Clerk: "Well, it's been cancelled due to the Opera."

Me: ????????????? "What do you mean, it said the showing was at 1:20pm?"

MovieJerk, I mean Clerk: "The live Opera is showing in that theater."

Me: "It didn't say that in the paper."

MovieJerk, Clueless Clerk: "What paper?"

Me: "The paper that comes out on Friday so you can plan your weekend movie viewing."

MovieJERK: "Well, it wasn't in the paper."

My Mind: "Lissen you sumbitch, you tellin' me my movie's been dumped for some dumbass Opera gig? No head's up in the papers? Are you frickin' serious? I'm about to come over that counter and put an extra orifice where the sun does shine!!!"

Me: walking off because I'm about to lose an extremely bad temper and I'm not interested in playing with Security.

I waited for my friend, she finally arrived, and I not so calmly explained the asinine situation. She and I talked, well, she talked and I fumed, and decided to see our second choice "Push".

We get back up to the counter and she paid first. While waiting for my ticket, I told MovieClerkJerk that they really needed to consider advance advertising and to think ahead more when they do events like the Opera that cancel movies like "New In Town". He just nodded. It'll never happen. But I was delighted that a woman behind me asked him in a trumpety very irritated voice, "What, New In Town's been cancelled?"

I wasn't the only one, there were lots of couples who came in after me and ended up leaving coz their weekend plans were stomped on as well.

As for "Push", it had a good premise with some interesting special effects but it fell far short of a "wow" movie as it had a lot of unused and underutilized potential with lots of room for improvement.

CatFood Experiment Has Ended

I've tallied the data...

And the results are in...

5 different flavors of Brand 1 (small-sized breakfast cans) and 5 different flavors of Brand 2 (big dinner cans) have made it thru - half of the flavors involving "beef", the other half "chicken", and one lone "turkey with cheese bits". All involve "gravy".

Whatever. I have happy cats that are official members of the "Clean Plate Club", pooping up a normal BM storm, peeing good sized pees, and I've even caught Moomers drinking water out of the non-fountain water bowl twice. Oh my!

I went to the store today to stock up on 5 cans of each flavor - 50 cans total, which came out to be about $20! Way cheaper then the Science Diet guggy food.

Day 3 and Still a Happy Experiment

Chalk today up as another success. Beef seems to be the catnip flavor so far.

Meglet asked what's my feeding procedure, so here it is: (those of you who babysit the cats while I'm away will already be familiar with the basics)

Hobbes: he gets a shotglass full of dry food (3 varieties mixed together - Nutro Weight Maintenance, Adult chicken, and Senior) in a small bowl along with a dish of 1/3 of a can of whatever wet food I'm serving up.

Doodle: she gets basically the same as Hobbes but because she gains weight faster than him and Moomin, I tend to reduce her dry food if she's getting chunky.

Moomin: he gets a shotglass full of Science Diet c/d dry food (prescription food for cats prone to urinary tract infections, poor baby) and the biggest third of the can of wet cat food mixed together (took me long enough to figure that out, he was taking forever with eating each tiny dry piece one at a time). He's the most active kitto of the bunch and he really needs the water factor in the wet food. Not to mention he takes after his gigantic tomcat father.

Everyone gets a bedtime snack of a sprinkling of dry food to prevent hanging over me like a vulture too early in the morning.

Dr. H said dry food is higher in calories and carbs, along with all the grains/veggies filler (he said it is difficult to make an all-meat dry cat food), than wet food, so he recommends I feed them more wet then dry. Dr. W did an experiment with her own cat and found if she fed it 16 dry pieces of the food she was feeding it, her cat never gained weight - if she took some away it lost weight and if she added more to the 16 it gained weight. I like to keep dry food in the mix as we as humans are supposed to eat crunchy/harder foods to keep our teeth exercised and strong so I figure the same goes for cats. Not to mention if they were out hunting their food, they'd be crunching on small bones. Yuck but true.

Taking this all into consideration, I tend to keep the dry to the minimum I've worked out with my cats to maintain their weight which is a shotglass full and not the jumbo shotglass, just the regular straight alcohol shotglass size. The reason I'm not giving them more then a third each of a large can of catfood is that they barely finish that and I can't have food laying around all day because a) eeww and b) Doodle would be 500 lbs by now. The bedtime snack helps with the hungries.

Of course, Doodle is ALWAYS hungry so it doesn't matter how much I feed her. She literally has no shut-off switch. Plus she eats so damn fast sometimes that she yarfs her entire meal up and 10 minutes later she's all super-affectionate to me which means she wants more food because she's on empty.

Day 2 Of the Great Catfood Experiment

(I love these pics with my HobberBobber!)

I took Hobber, the eldercat, to his annual checkup last week during our bleezard and learned:

1) a limited diet for cats is NOT good

2) having them eat the same thing all the time is NOT good

3) cats are one of the purest carnivores and we are making them eat food with grains and veggies in it

4) eating fish has not been scientifically shown to cause the crystals in cat bladders

5) kittens should be given a wide variety of different kinds of wet foods so they learn to tolerate eating most anything which will come in very handy when a cat gets sick n' picky

6) stick to the bigger better known brand names

7) and it's okay for Moomin to have any kind of wet food coz it adds much needed H2o to his body (I still don't ever catch him drinking water).

So, on Dr. H's recommendation, I have purchased a gazillon (well, not really a gazillon, but a lot) cans of catfood.

We've got turkey, chicken, and beef in a variety of different preparations, like:

"meaty bits"

"savory shreds"

"prime filets"

"feast"

"gravy"

"grilled"

"gourmet"

"chunky"

"with cheese"

and finally "bite-sized marinated morsels".

And the feline herd is LOVING it. No picky eaters in this bunch. They have joined the "Clean Plate Club" with huge enthusiasm. In fact, I was practically hijacked when I said, "treats dinner!"

I have a ratings system set up so I will know which ones are the all time favorites, but if things continue the way they are, I will end up just getting all of the flavors I bought with some new ones added in to keep the "novelty factor" in play.

I have them pick the flavors they want. Well, I array the cans in a line and open whichever they sniff/touch first (yes I know they can't smell thru the can, but I believe in giving power of choice when appropriate, after all, I've been forcing them to eat the same bland guggy Science Diet Mature Cats Savory Chicken paste). Moomin picked beef but he picked that for breakfast so I took Doodle's choice of turkey in gravy. Hobbes isn't choosing, he's staying on the Hoosier waiting with baited breath.

The kittos also seem happier around meal times. More relaxed. I know I am. Keep you all posted.