On Saturday I met my newborn pseudoniece, spoiled my pseudonephew who will be turning 5 soon (5! OMG where has the time gone, he was just a newborn who snuggled in my arms like a nugget a minute ago and a toddler who I could coax out of a tantrum by doing a Joey impression and asking him "how you doin'?" a second ago), and spent some quality grown-up time with my good friend J2.
J2 and I and new baby went to Target so J2 could purchase some new momma supplies and I could follow her around having Target-induced ADD by getting distracted by this that and the other and Magpie-itis picking this that and the other up. We giggled alot and admired baby E alot.
So we stopped in front of the lingerie section and commented on some of the items on prominent display out by the main aisle. She was explaining for me, the total non-lingerie girl, the merits of a garter belt paired with stockings and the benefits of different lace undies. She said what guy doesn't like a lace body suit with a snap crotch. I responded by saying the snaps weren't very comfortable. She said they wouldn't be snapped for long and we giggled.
Then I pointed to what I think was a baby doll teddy - a black lace bra with black see-thru fabric attached underneath. Fabric testing the hem with one hand, I said "I'd prefer something that wouldn't get in the way" while simultaneously lifting the side of my sweater with my other hand and hitching my bootilicious low-rise jeans up (so called because they are close fitting and every time I bend over, it's a crackfest, so I make sure my shirts are long enough to keep me modest).
Thereby causing a passing male to trip over an invisible obstacle as he tried not to eavesdrop, stare, and keep walking past us all at the same time.
J2 and I of course turned towards him when we heard his sneaker skid and the stumble. We were good. We didn't laugh until he was out of range.
Ssssst. Sizzle. Someone flip me over.
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