It can be lonely at times. Well, let’s be honest. Many times. Most of my friends are married, married with kids, or just have the kids. So trying to arrange something to do with them is like trying to book an appointment with an extremely busy overworked doctor. Spur of the moment social opportunities? Nah. Just popping over? Nah. Hey, can you come to the such and such party I’ve put together? Sure. Couple days later or the day of said party – “I can’t coz 1) babysitter cancelled, 2) friend/offspring/spouse sick, 3) family issues (read: husband is so needy he raised a complete fuss over friend spending time with me or extended family is in crisis), 4) unexpected extended family plans crop up, 5) weather, or 6) some other family/spousal events. Now, I’m not denying that things come up and certainly I don’t depend on my friends to provide me with a life, but it’s hard to deal with the social urge when no one is available.
Now I like being alone. I have a lot of interests that do not involve a 2nd or 3rd person. I am happy finding things to do with myself and I don’t mind doing this most of the time. I like spending time in my own company. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable being around myself 24/7. I’m willing to go to the movies by myself, go shopping, run errands, and go places. I draw the line at going alone to a restaurant tho. Doing that seems a bit off to me, kinda creepy, almost stalker-ish (although I see plenty of people sitting alone with reading material at restaurants who don’t look tweaked, I just can’t do this).
But there are times when I just want to go out and do something with someone other than myself. I want to have a face-to-face conversation. Have fun with. Laugh with. Make snarky comments with. Help out or be helped out. Cook for someone other than just me. Have company over or go over someone’s. Be able to call up and just go somewhere and not have to worry about a babysitter or if the place is toddler friendly. I am not trying to offend my friends with kids, they know I don’t mind accommodating for them and I like their kids.
I guess I wish being an older single person was like it was in college (sans the major amounts of alcohol ingesting and ungesting). Small community of diverse peers. Always someone to go places with. Always something happening. Always a party, a dance, an event, a pizza, a meeting, a class, a fast-food run, a beverage run. Someone to go puddle-jumping with. Someone to giggle or belly laugh with. Someone to cuddle with that doesn’t have four feet, a tail, and copious amounts of body hair.
I do have great friends. When I spend time with them, we have the best of times. The times are just few and far between.
Now I like being alone. I have a lot of interests that do not involve a 2nd or 3rd person. I am happy finding things to do with myself and I don’t mind doing this most of the time. I like spending time in my own company. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable being around myself 24/7. I’m willing to go to the movies by myself, go shopping, run errands, and go places. I draw the line at going alone to a restaurant tho. Doing that seems a bit off to me, kinda creepy, almost stalker-ish (although I see plenty of people sitting alone with reading material at restaurants who don’t look tweaked, I just can’t do this).
But there are times when I just want to go out and do something with someone other than myself. I want to have a face-to-face conversation. Have fun with. Laugh with. Make snarky comments with. Help out or be helped out. Cook for someone other than just me. Have company over or go over someone’s. Be able to call up and just go somewhere and not have to worry about a babysitter or if the place is toddler friendly. I am not trying to offend my friends with kids, they know I don’t mind accommodating for them and I like their kids.
I guess I wish being an older single person was like it was in college (sans the major amounts of alcohol ingesting and ungesting). Small community of diverse peers. Always someone to go places with. Always something happening. Always a party, a dance, an event, a pizza, a meeting, a class, a fast-food run, a beverage run. Someone to go puddle-jumping with. Someone to giggle or belly laugh with. Someone to cuddle with that doesn’t have four feet, a tail, and copious amounts of body hair.
I do have great friends. When I spend time with them, we have the best of times. The times are just few and far between.
2 comments:
I know what you mean, though I am sorry to hear that you have experienced the negative parts of solitude as well. I've lost a lot of friends to dating, marriage, kids, cheap weekend sex, etc, though not necessarily in that order. The only person you will ever be with for the rest of your life is you, so you have to be your own best friend. But, does that mean you have to be your only best friend? It is definitely easier to schedule bookstore runs, reading time, internet surfing, blogging, etc, but those people who have a partner of some type tell me that the sacrifices seem worth it. And once you truly find someone, it will no longer seem like a sacrifice! Because you will want to spend all of your time together. You will never want to be alone. And you never will, because you will become dependent on that other person, and start lying to your single friends about how great it is and how much it is worth the sacrifices. Do you really want to have to live with those lies? I know which way I have chosen up until now, but it is always a choice. Just like preaching at someone on her blog, telling that person what to do, knowing that she already know your point, etc - they are all choices. It sounds like we have made similar choices in this area for now. I hope you find that which you seek! (Almost sounds like something out of a fortune cookie, sorry.)
Sorry, I forgot - And what is with these 2 for 1 specials! Are they just trying to rub it in! Why don't they have 1 for 2 specials for single people, like us!
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