Wednesday, September 20, 2006

My Dots Have Been Thoroughly Agitated!!

So I call the vet coz Doodle has this "dirty chin" thing happening. At first I thought it was blackheads and then found they were actually little dried blood blobs. The person on the other end of the phone tells me this chin issue is a sign of FLEAS!!!
OH. MY. GOD. Are you completely bullshitting me? The massive vermaphobe that is me is now apeshit. Completely apeshit and ripshit!!!
No she was not. She was serious and as she kept talking, all these random incidents - Moomin going to town scratching his neck area (I thought he was just being a perseverative kitten, you know, scratching is fun and then I attack my back leg because it's moving), Hobbes' watery eyes, and the bites on my ass and under my chin (I thought they were from left over mosquitos).
The lady told me that even tho I have indoor cats, I can still bring the fleas or flea in the house, transferring it from some place I have been that has fleas. I know exactly where too. That's what makes it worse. My intuition, which I shunted aside that day I went to that house, was telling me that I should take precautions (meaning, leaving my shoes in the non-cat entrance and stripping in the basement). I did not listen. I thought it could never happen. Well, goddamnit, it did and has.
So the frenzy I was whipped into at work encouraged my co-workers to send me home to get the FrontLine and the mist spray that would start the annihilation. I went, purchased with arm and leg, and started the offensive.
Cats were fine with being FrontLined on their shoulder blades. Not so fine with all of them being confined in the spare room while I "misted" the rest of the house. I had to leave midway thru to purchase another can of mist coz I have more dark places than I thought where fleas like to breed. I inhaled the mist which the directions specifically said not to. My tongue was actually coated. Now I know that is NOT good, so I tried to swab it off. Had a headache and sore throat all night.
Once the rooms where the cats were not were done, I had to wait 10 minutes before I could let them out. I had all the fans going in the house to encourage the mist to settle and dry quicker. Doodle opened the door (she's a regular Houdini) and the cats were literally "out of the bag", roaming the misted house.
After all the misting was done, I had to wash all my dishes (coz they got misted on accident) while my bedding (read: every damn pillow, case, sheet, fitted sheet, duvet, cover, stuffed animal, and etc) and throws had to be put in the dryer for 20 minutes on high heat.
I multi-tasked - plucked my eyebrows, roasted green beans, clipped cat and human claws, called my grandfather, called my friend J2, called my mom, called my dad, and basically fell into the Chair of Death when "Dead Like Me" came on at 7:00pm.
And the frosting on the agitated dot day, was I received a prank phone call at 5 minutes to 11:00pm. And this wasn't some dumbass pre-teen, this was an adult male getting off on himself. I just hung up on him and went back to bedtime reading. I thought that was the best response to avoid any stalker-type behavior from resulting.
I'm exhausted. Tired. Flea-ish. And ready to go back to bed but I can't, heigh-ho and everything.

1 comment:

Deborah Boschert said...

Oh this is awful. I have SO been there. That was when we lived in Mississippi. And the fleas were dreadful. But not the worst of the whole "deep south" experience.