Thursday, September 14, 2006

Project Runway in Nutshell #9

Heidi, wearing a curtain, tells our intrepid designers she will announce the challenge at a party later that day and there will be “special guests”. Laura is in a tight black baby bump showing dress. Jeff said “it’s never a party.” I guess he’s harking back to his drug and alcohol induced frenzies back in the day.

Designers show up at “The Pink Elephant” and champagne is a’poppin’. Kayne so wants the guests to be Destiny’s Child. This boy has glitter and sparkles on the brain and looks for any excuse to use them. Heidi comes in and drops the major bombshell that the 2 surprise guests are….. [drum roll please]….. Vincent (what crock) and Angela (double crock) who is wearing yet ANOTHER bubble skirt. Heidi reminds designers that winning had perks and getting a second chance is the perk as both Angela and Vincent each won a challenge. Heidi told the two guests they would have to win to stay and that three designers are going home this challenge. Kayne promptly chugs his champagne and equates V and A with cockroaches. Uli said this was “no party” and Jeff implies Angela is “special needs”. Heidi gives an uber cheerful “bye” while the models stream in and designers down lots of champagne. Jeff struggles to say what the good news is and is unable to.

Laura snarks about how Angela’s win was really a group effort and it’s not fair she came back because basically Michael and Laura carried her ass over the finish line for that Macy’s challenge. Angela, of course, thinks Laura is wrong as it was “her design”.

Challenge: to design a cocktail outfit using only black AND white fabric. Tim tells them that the designers will have to prove themselves and “it’s really about design and silhouette of the outfit”. They are to use only black AND white and ALL of the fabric they buy, even the scraps. Everyone has a “Whafa?” moment and gets the panic forehead wrinkles.

Ideas: Kayne goes with “an edited version” of himself and totally forgets the directions “black AND white” while in the fabric store. Laura worries about “youthfulness” and thinks a babydoll dress with a square neckline is the way to go. Uli is going the “hippie beach party cocktail dress with prints” route yet again. Michael decides to go all asymmetrical and off the shoulder with a cummerbund. Angela wants to do a leather shrug with a lined Edwardian collar. Jeff does his usual “rock and roll” mini dress with leather-like thigh high leggings. Vincent doesn’t really have a plan of action but pleats will be part of it and he accidentally gets an extra ½ yard of fabric unbeknownst to him which puts him in a major tailspin. I think the universe is underlining the fact he shouldn’t be back.

More Angela-bashing from Jeff. My stars, just stop already! Michael lets Kayne know that the hooker factor of his [Kayne’s] dress is too high and Kayne takes the advice with a grain of southern salt. Laura enters a complaining and whining phase and her model tries to give creative suggestions. My advice, the model should just be a voiceless hanger around a stressed-out hormonal pregnant woman.

Tim swans thru the room. Likes Uli’s but cautions her not to make the scrap necklace too heavy, reminds Mr. Glue-Everything-Together (Vincent) he needs to use ALL the fabric, says something to Jeff I can’t remember, jumps on the fact Kayne goofed and didn’t get anything white but a cheap-ass looking ribbon, points out Michael’s unfinished edge and “transparent” look, abruptly tells Angela she’s too ambitious, and when he finally gets to Laura, she gets all sobby on him coz she’s in a self-doubting slough of despondency. Make it work!

Runway Day

Laura gets phone love from hubby and is all refreshed. We are treated to another naked upper body shot of Kayne and his mini-man-boobs. Vincent is informed his model had an accident, he will be getting a replacement, and because the replacement is bigger, V has issues besides the never-ending cacophony in his head.

Angela: strangely cut black dress with HUGE white stand-up collar, sort of like the Jerry Seinfeld puffy shirt.
Michael: dress like mentioned in Ideas above and the cummerbund has floral detailing with matching handbag.
Vincent: white pleated bodice, short black skirt, and honkin’ huge scarfy shawly affair.
Laura: black lace over white, black fringe on bottom with some beading and flattering cappy sleeves. Not babydollish or elderly at all. I thought it was very well made and flattering.
Jeff: thigh high wrinkly leggings that made the model’s skinny-ass legs look elephantish with a ugly mixed prints dress of some short sort. Ugh.
Uli: again with the loose boobies multi-printed style but shorter with detached sleeves that were as long as the dress.
Kayne: high necked black dress, very simple in front with a white ribbon web design encircling the model’s back. Understated for him as it wasn’t bedazzled all up.

Judge raves: Michael, coz he knows presentation and proportions. Laura, coz she didn’t design solely for herself, maintained her point of view but moved forward.

Judge so-so’s: Uli, coz it was nicely made and moved easily but sleeves too long and she stayed in her one note range. Kayne, coz he listened to the advice to calm his taste down, he’s learning who he is, the front was elegant but the back was “Mr. Jekyll”, overall design not sophisticated enough, and the white was too minimal.

Judge razzes: Angela, coz her outfit was an overwhelming, costumey, cheap vampire look and she stuffed a hard handbag with tons of extra fabric. Jeff, coz his outfit was cheap, not luxurious enough, too much Gwen Stefani, and he stayed in his one note range of what he thinks is rock’n’roll. And Vincent, coz he was cheap and not chic (what a surprise), skirt was too short, he should have used the table runner he made to lengthen the skirt, and he doesn’t have a sense of proportion.

Winner: Laura, after all her complaining, self-doubting, sobbing, and going all hormonal on us, she designed a lovely dress that I can totally see in a store window.

Out: Angela, who said she “loved and hated every minute of the experience being on Project Runway”. Vincent, who thinks “he makes beautiful music and is damn good at it”. I guess he thinks that because he’s mostly busy trying to conduct the orchestra playing in his head. And Kayne, who “loves clothing and eventually wants to get out of pageants, he didn’t mind airing his dirty laundry on TV”, and so he leaves all optimistic. You get on with your bad self, you southern charmer you!

Jeff was in the last two. He might want to listen to that.

2 comments:

Deborah Boschert said...

My favorite part was Michael coaching Kayne about what a hooker might wear and why he might not want to go that direction. It made them both seem like really good guys. Could they BE any different?! And yet so likable?

Madpuppy said...

I was pretty sure that Vincent and Angela were going to design crappy dresses, so that bringing them back wouldn't really have any effect.

Once I got an eyeful of Jeffrey's horrendous dress, I was kind of hoping that Angela would win this one while he got Auf'd.

I thought Michael's dress was best, but it looks like a forgone conclusion that Laura is in the final three, and they didn't want another Wendy "Never won one challenge" Pepper at Fashion Week.

My prediction is this week is the week Jeffery finally goes bye-bye, as Michael, Uli and Laura go to fashion week. If there's any justice in the world, Michael wins it.