There’s this yearly contest of tweaking words by changing a letter or two and coming up with new definitions that are humorous. I thought I would take that contest idea and run with it (with scissors!) by trying holiday words. Being up front and honest, I’m letting you all know that I intend to cheat shamelessly at this game by changing more than one or two letters if I have to…
Christmas
Christmac: getting your mack on during the holidays.
Holiday
Hokiday: having to hock assets to buy holiday gifts.
Holipay: paychecks that get signed over immediately to pay for gifts.
Reindeer
Feigndeer: those lighted decorative deer one places around one’s yard.
Reinseer: Northern psychic.
Neindeer: German for “no deer”.
Mistletoe
Fistletoe: if you attempt to kiss me, you’ll be kissing my fist.
Mistlehoe: a “ho” hanging from the rafters angling for a kiss.
Candycane
Candocane: self-explanatory
Randycane: candy that will make ya horny.
Candysane: craving for something sweet to get one’s sanity back on track.
Candybane: candy repellent, good for wearing during the holidays to help with weight maintenance.
Winter
Shwinter: shitty winter
Gwinter: good winter
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