The Window People Called...

at 8:00 this morning.

They wanted to come this Thursday and Friday which I'm not able to do as I have client meetings scheduled those two days (people and their last minute fitting me in, sheesh!). The Window People are “not so overbooked at this time of the year” so they were able to work with my schedule and They will be descending on me for 1/4/07 and 1/5/07.

I’m taking those two days off to run interference with the cats (I have worry-wart visions of Moomin “helping” Them and escaping and both Doodle and Hobbes running scared and accidentally jumping out a window and I’m a nosy parker who just can't leave her belongings with others without the supervision of said nosy parker/busy body). I have a tentative plan of action mapped out… I will wake up at the butt-crack of dawn on those days so I will be showered/made presentable and the cats will be fed and “stuffed” into the bathroom by the time They arrive.

I would like the Window People to complete a back room first so I can move the cats into that room to free up the bathroom in the event the Window People need to take a piss. I wasn’t thinking of their needs (due to being a hermit and sort of self-centered) but my mom reminded me that they are MEN and they will need to go at some point or at several points during the job. She’s right.

I’m excited and nervous. It’s the biggest house undertaking (other than the uncompleted kitchen which I have learned to deal with and don’t notice anymore and the removal of my asphalt diving board and replacing it with grass - now that was some fun with a sledge hammer) which I’ve done. I’m looking forward to being vacuum-packed into my house for the winter. I’m looking forward to being able to open all and any windows in nice weather instead of just select windows because I can’t be bothered with the tedium of removing and replacing the weather insulation stripping every winter. I’m looking forward to not having to prop windows up with books/sticks/or other implements because the rope weights have given way and the potential to chop a cat’s head or my hand off is ever present. I’m looking forward to not going on everlasting "paint chip patrol". I’m looking forward to being able to actually clean my windows. And I’m looking forward to the energy benefits of lowering both my oil and electric bills (heat and AC).

I will take pictures of before and after to share coz I know all of you will be waiting with bated breath to see them. Starting the New Year off with new windows… I can hardly contain myself.

Found Verse for Christmas

I found this verse in "Murder for Christmas" edited by Thomas Godfrey, page 323.

If Christmas on Monday be,
A great winter that year you'll see,
And full of winds, both loud and shrill;
But, in summer, truth to tell,
High winds shall there be and strong,
Full of tempests lasting long,
While battles they shall multiply,
And great plenty of beasts shall die...
-Traditional

This struck me on Thursday when I came across this in the book I was reading (mentioned above). Doesn't sound too positive or promising, does it?

And if we take Denver and Mt. Hood and other snowstorms already (some people still have no power), the Iraq-Middle East-Korea situations, and the all the animals we are in the process of exterminating into account, the rest of the winter and the summer should be interesting.

A Shot of My Kitty Love

I had to share the unconditional love I get every morning from my Moomie-pants.

Ach! I'm Such A Mess Today

I’m veering back and forth between wanting to sob and a state of high piss-off. Not only am I riding the rapid mood swing merry-go-round that goes from 0-60 in seconds flat, but I’m feeling shlubby as well. Throw in creative ideas constantly springing forth in my mind, one after the other, that my hand cannot jot or doodle them down fast enough and you can get some idea of how my day, not to mention my week is going. Tho the past three days have just been confined to cranky.

So far today has been …

I’m in the bank trying to cash my Christmas bonus and I get a whiff of the guy’s behind me cologne and I want to cry. I get in my car and my aura sends out the signal for all drivers without a frickin’ brain cell to go ahead, cut me off, and meander in front of me for a good long while so I get good and mad. I read a Christmas story of someone who commented on my blog, read it out loud, and I and my co-workers started sniffling. I tried to print said story, the printer proceeded to print 39 frickin’ pages and I couldn’t get the print job to cancel, thus winding me up again with computer rage. One of my co-workers had me read a letter someone wrote to her about her disabled cousin helping make a child’s Christmas wish of touring a real-life fire engine come true and I puddled up again along with her. I’ve been thinking about how I’ve been yelling at the cats all week and how if I had any kids I’d most likely be a yeller and a smacker and I get very angry with myself. I’ve been thinking over some memories and getting all vehklempt. And it’s not even lunch-time yet.

Feeling shlubby so I’m wearing my glasses. Couldn’t be bothered with the hassle of my contacts tho I did manage to blow dry my hair and not twist it up like I initially was going to do. I like my outfit (wearing a favorite and flattering color – aqua), no bag lady clothes for me even tho I am feeling like a fright. Could be my inner frightfulness making me feel outerly frightful. Yeah, that’s it.

I started a really cool project, very secret, can’t give any details as it might end up as a gift for someone who reads the blog tho pictures may be forthcoming if it’s successful. I spent yesterday evening (after dropping the meal off to the new parents) running around hardware stores finding supplies. Along with the project materials, I found big honkin’ cardboard tubes for Moomin to zoom thru. He loves them. They are nice and long and he’s dragging the tissue paper pile into them so he can rustle undercover to his heart’s content.

I have to make another loaf of Spaghetti Bread tonight for tomorrow’s office potluck. And wash 3 kitty chins. And work on the above mentioned project. Hope there is something mindless on TV to listen to while I sew and try to lay a bread loaf egg that needs 2-3 hours to rise after being thawed in the fridge overnight.

Should be good times.

Let the Reindeer, er Reincat, Games Commence

Last night, I thankfully did not have to wash 3 kitty chins after I finished baking bread but Moomin did want to play his most favorite game ever... Tug O'War. So, him being so damn cute and all, I had to oblige. Who needs sleep anyway? And let me tell you, in those pics of him with the rope in his mouth, he's really hauling on the rope on his end, just like a dog. He braces himself low down and keeps inexorably pulling until either I let go coz I'm worried about his teeth or he lets go coz he needs to breathe.

As Promised With a Little Extra

Here is a picture of my candies. The flowers indicate the flavor inside. See the "Candy Filled Weekend" post for recipe and color key.

This is a picture of the Chinese take-out box I put the candies in. Decorations a'la SamStamping. You can see the key as well.

And here is my creation as of last night. I made Spaghetti Bread (recipe below) for one of our "newly delivered" co-workers. We each signed up for a week to provide food for the new parents so they don't have to cook and this is part of my contribution.

Spaghetti Bread (so named because it goes awesomely with red sauce meals!)
Ingredients:
*Frozen bread dough (2 loaf pkg)
*1 lb pkg of shredded cheddar cheese
*1 egg
*1 egg white
*1 tsp chili or cajun spice powder
*1 bundle of green onions/scallions

How to:
1) Thaw bread in fridge overnight.
2) Let dough sit in greased bowl at room temp for 2-3 hours until doubled.
*Preheat oven to 350*.
3) Punch dough down.
4) Roll out on lightly floured surface until 1 inch in height.
5) Cut into 1 inch cubes with sharp knife or pizza cutter.
6) Beat egg and egg white with chili powder in large mixing bowl.
7) Put cubes in mixing bowl with egg mixture and coat them.
8) Add chopped green onions and cheese.
9) Mix well so all ingredients are evenly distributed and coating the cubes.
10) Pour into greased and lightly floured bread loaf tins (one large or 2 medium).
11) Let dough mixture sit in tins for 20 minutes to rise a bit.
12) Put in oven and bake for 40-45 minutes at 350*.
13) Poke the bread with a clean chopstick to make sure the middle is done.
14) If nothing sticks to the chopstick, take out, cool, eat and enjoy.
15) If not done, do 5-10 minute increments until stick comes out clean.

Tasty Vs. Smelly

Okay, there have been times when I have said something tastes like something smells. Example: Ginger tastes like LemonPledge smells.

I just read an article on msn.com called “Taste Buds Key to Health” (AP 11/20/06). It talks about the relationship between taste/smell/eating. There are people out there who are classified as “super tasters who live in a neon taste world where veggies are bitter” and “non-tasters who like veggies, fat, sweets, and alcohol”. To test to see which you are, put a drop of blue food coloring on the tip of your tongue. If you see mucho pink bumps more than you see blue that means many taste buds = super taster thus typically a skinny picky eater. If you see much more blue than pink, you are a non-taster thus typically on the heavy side with a predilection for sweets, fats, carbs, and other just-duct-tape-it-to-your-thigh foods. Most people fall in the middle.

To get back to the taste like something smells, this is the reason…

“But taste starts before a food actually touches the tongue. Even more important than sniffing its aroma is chewing, which releases vapors up the back of the nose. You think you are tasting a flavor that really you’re unconsciously smelling. It’s called retronasal olfaction, and it sends flavor information along a different, more sensitive brain pathway than traditional sniffing does.” (from the article)

Now, I’m not saying I have chewed LemonPledge, but the smell is strong enough to shoot to the back of my throat and do the above mentioned “retronasal olfaction”. Ditto with bleach, cat pee, and any other extremely intense strong smells.

I love having things explained to me!

Candy-Filled Weekend

I make candy for my co-workers and friends. This way I don’t have to worry about spending oodles of money on oodles of people and they don’t have to worry about feeling guilty about what I may have spent or how they will re-gift without me knowing.

It’s typically a two-day project, not including the evening (in front of the TV of course) I spend decorating the candy boxes with stamped decorations and gift tags. Saturday is usually the day I pound the shit out of the cookies and mix them with room temperature cream cheese (now I know why women from the early to mid-1900’s had such strong biceps and hands before the advent of pre-fab food!). Sunday is when I cut, roll, and dip the candies in chocolates. This year, I left out rolling the cubes into balls, too lazy and I didn’t want to take the time as I still had to make the Martha Stewart-like key on a tag so the people can tell what color flower indicates what flavor.

I added a new flavor this year, the Vanilla Cream Sandwich cookie (white), to my typical flavors of Oreo (blue), NutterButter (orange), Mint Grasshoppers (green), Chips Ahoy Choc Chip (pink – they taste just like choc chip cookie dough encased in choc!), and Pecan Sandies (yellow). Next year I want to try the Lemon Wafers.

My brother called while I was in the process of filling the boxes so I think everyone got at least 3-4 of each flavor. I filled 14 Chinese take-out boxes to the brims and have a plethora of leftovers to pad myself with plenty of holiday fat.

Here’s the recipe if you are interested in making some awesome homemade candies that taste like they should be in a mucho-expensive store…

Chocolate Candies

Ingredients:
*Rule of thumb: 1 pound of cookies to 1 pkg of room temp cream cheese
*Cookies can be any dryish or sandwich type cookie (see above for my flavors).
Note: DO NOT use any “double stuff” sandwich cookie – it’s too moist, wet is more like it.
*Chocolate for dipping the balls into (I typically use the Nestle’s Mini-Chocolate Chips – they melt faster than the big ones) and canning wax to thin the chocolate a bit.
Note: Plan on at least 1 ½ to 2 bags per flavor.
*Cat hair is optional (like I have a choice!!)

How to:
1) Crush 1 lb pkg of cookies in a tough plastic Ziploc bag until they are the consistency of potting soil. (A rolling pin works nicely for this.)
2) Cube the room temperature softened cream cheese into the bowl of crushed cookies.
3) Mix/mush it all together with your hands. Should make a nice solid ball a bit bigger than a softball.
4) Flatten ball out so it’s a rectangle or square about 1 inches high.
5) Put rectangle or square in bag you crushed the cookies in and chill in fridge overnight.
6) Next day… while chocolate is melting, cut up the cookie rectangle or square into 1 inch cubes.
7) When chocolate is ready, dip each cube in it and set aside on a foil covered cookie sheet.
8) Put completed choc-covered cubes back in the fridge so chocolate can stiffen up.
9) Once chocolate has hardened, you can transfer your candies to another more suitable container for storage.
10) EAT.

Twisted Holiday Words

There’s this yearly contest of tweaking words by changing a letter or two and coming up with new definitions that are humorous. I thought I would take that contest idea and run with it (with scissors!) by trying holiday words. Being up front and honest, I’m letting you all know that I intend to cheat shamelessly at this game by changing more than one or two letters if I have to…

Christmas
Christmac: getting your mack on during the holidays.

Holiday
Hokiday: having to hock assets to buy holiday gifts.
Holipay: paychecks that get signed over immediately to pay for gifts.

Reindeer
Feigndeer: those lighted decorative deer one places around one’s yard.
Reinseer: Northern psychic.
Neindeer: German for “no deer”.

Mistletoe
Fistletoe: if you attempt to kiss me, you’ll be kissing my fist.
Mistlehoe: a “ho” hanging from the rafters angling for a kiss.

Candycane
Candocane: self-explanatory
Randycane: candy that will make ya horny.
Candysane: craving for something sweet to get one’s sanity back on track.
Candybane: candy repellent, good for wearing during the holidays to help with weight maintenance.

Winter
Shwinter: shitty winter
Gwinter: good winter

OMG! Could I Be Any More Postal?

‘Tis the season to be gracious but goddamnit, when you have a loud juicy open-mouthed gum-chewer in your midst, gracious is next to impossible to feel. Add non-stop talking at supersonic boom level with repeated “like, you knows” and “you know what I means” sprinkled repeatedly after every other sentence and you have me trying my hardest to not go all ballistic on someone’s ass. Of course, PMS is also thrown into the explosive cocktail of irritability and low tolerance. Yeah me!

I have proactive measures, like wearing my headphones and listening to a CD on repeat, in place. But really, should I have to? I could be damaging my eardrums with how loud I have to play the CD to block out the noise level. It’s a place of work full of [hopefully] professional human beings and shouldn’t this behavior be confined to the privacy of that person’s home?

Is there some way to tell them that their farmyard noises are less than appreciated without offending them?

Is there some way to tell them their constant inability to control the volume of their voice, whether on the phone or in face-to-face discussion, is impeding my professional effectiveness?

Is there some way to let them know that I and the others they talk to are not stupid and we do not need the same sentence/idea/story/phrase repeated numerous times in only slightly different versions? And is it really necessary for me to hear the same story 5-7 times in one day as they speak on the phone (one after the other) to that many people involved with the case?

Is there some way to stop them from repeating “like, you know” and “you know what I mean” after every other fucking sentence? I’ve kept count and tallied 40 of them in 5 minutes. This is beyond jumping on my last nerve!

So… this is my dilemma.

Right now I am hiding a ravening sharp-clawed bitch with no filter system in place on her mouth behind a flat-faced affect wearing headphones with Danity Kane blasting in my poor beleaguered ears.

Maybe I need some holiday music…

And some real chocolate…

Which I do have now.

ChocoConversation

I am currently experiencing a craving for chocolate.

My nice and helpful social worker of a co-worker: "There are Tootsie Rolls in the goodie bag".

Me: "Tootsie Rolls not so much."

Co-worker: "I thought you said you wanted chocolate."

Me: "I do want chocolate. Tootsie Rolls are turds, not chocolate."

Co-worker: "What? They're good."

Me: "They aren't chocolate. It's a chewy cat turd with a hint of cocoa. My tastebuds are craving real chocolate."

Co-worker: "If you keep telling me Tootsie Rolls aren't chocolate, I'll give you some shit and you can call it chocolatey goodness."

Thus ends another fine high-minded literate discussion for the day. All our office conversations typically end up in the bathroom or about the ass region. Give us any topic and enough time, we'll bring it on down.

My "Visions of Sugarplums" Tree

I was attempting to take pictures "sans flash" so pardon the amateurish and slightly blurry photos of my tree.

I got a "wild string of lights" across my ass last night and went all out to light and decorate my tree. It looks like I had Santa vomit "visions of sugarplums" all over it. But I like the candy and Christmasy effect. Enjoy!!! I know I did and do!

'Tis the Season for Traditions

I’m a girl who loves traditions despite a mother who is busy trying to throw me from the tradition train.

To me, having these special things happen at the same certain times each year makes me feel safe, comforted, and connected to my family and friends. All the changes, strife, negativity, and general yuck are held at bay during these times. These times reassure and reinforce that I am loved.

Now, I KNOW my family and friends love me, but it’s good to hear it and see it sometimes and what more perfect time then traditionally?

Some traditions: Valentine’s Day cards, Easter baskets, Easter ham, birthday cake, St. Patrick’s Day wearing of the green and Shamrock Shakes from McDonald’s, Halloween costumes, trick or treating goodie bags, light-up pumpkins, Thanksgiving dinner with parents, going to see my G-pa in May, Sunday antiquing and then brunch at the Freeport Café, making holiday candy for my friends while listening to one carol after another, making Christmas cookies with my family, getting and decorating a Christmas tree, making and eating Pierogis, Christmas Day burritos, watching the RankinBass holiday animated specials, taking the tree down after New Year’s, and even the yearly medical checkups.

I miss waking up to chockfull Easter baskets and Toothfairy visits.

I miss choosing my Valentine’s Day cards, writing my friends’ names on them, and handing them out as well as making the Valentine mailboxes in school.

I miss scooping out pumpkin guts, cutting faces, and baking pumpkin seeds in butter and salt until they are all golden brown and crispy. I miss cuddling up on the couch or floor on Halloween night after an exciting time roaming the neighborhood for trick or treating (and sorting thru the candy to make advantageous trades with my brother), half-asleep, watching a scary movie on TV while my parents are puttering around the house or sitting with us.

I miss making decorations at school and bringing them home to show Mom and Dad and being so proud of what I made and seeing them up on the tree, the fridge, window, or wall.

I miss going out to pick out our tree, transporting it home, and waiting a couple days for the tree to “relax” and then putting all the lights on it. I miss opening the footlocker of decorations like it was a treasure chest and being instructed by Mom as to how to place the decorations for maximum effect (always hang a glass ball by a light so it will reflect and shine and remember to not place the same color balls too near each other).

I miss the family endeavor of making Christmas cookies and we each had our own job and specialty – Dad operated the Spritz cookie machine with much swearing, my brother and I were in charge of putting the decorations on them (cherries, sprinkles, colored sugar, and putting the filling in the Kolachkies – sp?), and Mom was the hub, the main cookie dough-maker and referee. I miss all the cookies, on their various plates and in containers, displayed on the Hoosier cabinet and sneaking cookies every time I walked by them.

I miss having a stocking, not so much for the stuff in it, but because of what it represents – someone who loves me that is thinking of me, my needs, and is taking the time to put something together for me that reassures me of their love and affection.

I miss that hushed anticipation time before my parents woke up and my brother and I waited in our rooms Christmas morning (the rule was we weren’t allowed to wake them up or leave our rooms before they woke up). I miss the quiet time after the gifts were open when house smelled of good cooking and everyone was playing and/or reading with their gifts or just sitting munching on Christmas cookies.

I miss sitting with my family in that quiet loving stupor after we’ve made all the pierogis and stuffed our bellies with plenty of artery-clogging goodness. I miss Dad cleaning up in the kitchen and Mom sitting down watching TV or with a crafty book and we all are exchanging family chitchat and jokes.

I admit to hanging on to them probably longer than I should, but wouldn’t you want to keep something that makes you feel loved and safe?

Some Sepia Memories

Here are two of those pictures you get taken at amusement parks when you are with a group of friends. The Old West theme...

This dated from my college days. You know, the sorority thing.

This is from the early to mid 90's with my BFF J and other people. Didja notice the change in my type of clothing? In college it was all about coverage. In the early-mid 90's it was all about dressing to conceal yet reveal.

Memories... December is that time of month for thinking about the past and what the future might be like come January.

Poems with a Natural Bent

A tumbly bumbly bumble bee
I would like to be
To smile
All the while
And buzz so busily

A listener of winds and friends
A growing of strength and endurance
A bower of health and refreshing vitality
An extension of roots to find water and attachment
is
A tree full of ever-expanding cycles

You would think I would learn…
Comes to naught
As per usual
The cycle…
Rise, fall
And swear never again
Only-
-with convenient amnesia-

To climb the next second

Tonsils Anyone?

In my quest to get cat pictures for part of JJM Handcrafted's ArtShare piece, this is what I got last night. I don't think I can use it, but gosh darn it, it's a damn funny picture!!

My Wooden Christmas Tree Display

Here are a few pictures of my Christmas trees that my father and I made. Triangles of wood (from an old sign) with holes drilled into them so the lights could be put in them so they don't fall out. If you look closely at the second picture, you can see Moomin's eyes glowing like Christmas lights. Oh, and yesterday was also our first snowfall of the year. Check out that inch worth of snow on the ground. Glad I raked my leaves and padded my Hydrangea!

You can barely see Moomin in the window here!

Weekend Kittie Pics

The one of Mr. Stripey Pants, you'll have to tilt your head. Sorry.

Weekend Check List Completed!

1) Friday, I got out of work early (3:30pm) and so I decided to waste it by transferring my digital photos to a CD at TARGET (90 pics, it was quite a process, and it didn’t help there was no CD in the machine to transfer them on and all the TARGET doobees were unavailable and/or not versed in the photo machines so I had to wait until someone was free enough to be walked thru by another busy doobee, I was told to come back in 20 minutes for the index which couldn’t be printed out at the machine I was at) and do some wandering around while refraining from impulse shopping (I did get some tights). Then I went to HomeDepot (so disappointed in their X-mas stuff) and Goodwill.

2) Because I’m single and not currently active in the local singles pool (this is a good thing), I did laundry after I got home. This actually worked out well because then I didn’t have to do it over the official weekend.

3) I woke up Saturday, took a shower, and raked up the 2nd fall of leaves. Making piles, putting piles in the wheelbarrow, and dumping them in my compost.

4) Then, I put up my wooden Christmas tree display (with the help of my neighbor).

5) I put my indoor line of matching-to-the-trees lights up in my big front window. I found I had to jerry-rig them at the top of the window as Moomin decided to chew on the cord. I typically have them light the bottom of the window, sort of like stage foot lighting, but Moomin showed me that he was planning on being “unsafe” which meant I had to be a proactive animal owner and string ‘em up high.

6) Sunday, I helped out an elderly neighbor. She was having issues with her tape machine (for books on tape) and I showed her how to operate it correctly. I had her run thru several trials independently (with some light prompting on my part), but I’m not sure how much she retained. She came by a second time an hour later for a refresher. She excused how jittery she was acting, she said she’d just taken a new medication and it “revs her right up”. I wrote the tips out in large writing and reminded her the machine needs to be closed in order to work properly. I may see her next weekend, she has help during the week.

7) I raked up some pine needles, wheelbarrowed them, and put them around the base of my Hydrangea. This will provide wind buffer and hopefully add some more acid to the soil. I’m all about the blue Hydrangea!

8) I made some veggie rollups for lunches for this week. This was a bit labor intensive, cutting the veggies and all.

9) Washed the kitties’ chins and got my ass bit for my efforts. Moomin got a bit rowdy while I was working on Doodle. I typically sit on the tub edge and yes my ass does hang a bit over the edge. Moomin was attacking the back of my sweatshirt coz it was moving back and forth with my arm and he got so hyped up and zooey that he bit my ass. Bit my ass! I had to giggle after my initial yell of indignation.

10) I read 4 books this weekend.