Something New, No Going Back

I cut my hair.

6 inches of it.

And now I have a new do.

Hopefully I will be able to do the do on my own.

Let's just say for less hair, I gotta use a whole lotta product!

It's going to take some getting used to...

And I'm gonna have to start haulin' myself out of bed earlier!

Is Choice Something We Really Have? Part 2

So you make your "free choice", basing it on research, experience, opinions, learning, gut feelings, and desire.

How do you know you are actually going to get what you "choose"?

What if your "choice" turns out not to be a "choice" you wanted?

What if your "choice" is what you wanted but the ramifications and results are not what you would have "chosen"?

Do you make new "choices" to fix your bad "choice"? Can you? Should you?

There are so many things out there that people "choose" to do/have.

Like children. They "chose" to have a child or several. But they really don't get a "choice" of what kind of child they are going to have. The child could be a boy or girl, it could be healthy or unhealthy, it could have cognitive disabilities or mental disabilities, it could be tall or short, it could be fat or thin, it could be mellow or moody, it could be generous or mean, it could have alot or a little common sense, it could be neat or messy, it could be stoic or a whiner, it could be wonderful or it could be a menace. Or any combo of things. But the point is, parents do not "choose" what their child will be like. Sure they have hopes and dreams but they can't make those a reality no matter how much parenting, training, nurturing, and medication goes into the child. Oh, some parents luck out and get exactly what they would have "chosen" for a child, but most parents have to temper their hope-and-dream child with the reality child - they get some of what they would "choose" but then they also get things they would never have "chosen". I'm not saying these compromised parents don't love their kiddos, they do, they just didn't get what they thought they were "choosing" when they "chose" to have a child.

Then there are the ramifications of having the child they "chose" to have. Parents know they will have to make sacrifices, changes, and their lives will forever be different. But do they really "choose" the loss of freedom, the fatigue, the financial cost, the emotional toll, the spiritual roller coaster, the constant worry, the value judgements, the picking battles, the cat in the dryer, the firecracker in the toilet, the suspension from school, the broken bones, the serious illnesses, the fear that things will get beyond their "choice" control?

They never had control over their "choices" in the first place.

You don't have control over your "choices" when you "choose" to have a child, take a new job, start a relationship, get married, get divorced, move, fly in a plane, drive a car, walk out your door, wake up in the morning, fall asleep.

For that matter, we didn't "chose" to be in the body we're in (sorry all of you who believe in self-directed reincarnation). We don't "choose" to have poor eyesight, bad backs, weak ankles, predisposition to being overweight, arthritis, brittle bones, migraines, catching the flu or common cold, diarrhea, asthma, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or get cancer. We don't "choose" to get old and we don't "choose" to die.

Having "choices" made for us is scary isn't it?

Is Choice Something We Really Have?

Choices.

Lots of people talk about having the freedom to make choices. Free will and all.

But do we really?

It seems to me that choices are dictated to us. That we are boxed into making certain choices.

We spend a lot of time saying we "choose" this or that in our lives, but our "choices" are based (read: dictated) by our past experiences, income, time, energy, materials, environment, other people, what we have and don't have, likes and dislikes, events, circumstances, limitations, and fear.

I "choose" to work because the alternative is not having an income. I'd much rather stay home and read books, but if I want paid vacations, money to buy books, and the income to provide the roof over my head while taking those vacations and reading those books, I am boxed into working.

I "choose" certain things at the grocery store. Sure there are other things I'd rather buy but pricing boxes me into buying less preferred brands or items.

I "chose" to have three cats. I'd like to "choose" not to scoop the poop every damn morning and clean up cat yarf, but I'm boxed into "choosing to do so as I do not "choose" to live in a dirty home or have sick cats.

I could "choose" not to shovel my driveway, but then I can't get the car out. So I have to shovel if I want to go to work to get my paycheck which pays for the car and the garage for the car, not to mention the damn shovel.

To be healthy, I "choose" to count calories (although I'd MUCH rather "choose" to eat any damn thing in any amount I want) and go to the doctor's and dentist's. I did not "choose" to have a dentist phobia, but I have one and it dictated "choosing" not to go for 13 years until I made the "choice" to go to prevent a nightmare in the mouth - boxed in on both sides by my fear - to go means bad things, to not go means worse things.

Oh, I know, those Freedom spouters will say that I can "choose" not to work, I can "choose" not to have the car or the house or the books, I can "choose" to live without obligations - homeless, on Welfare shooting out babies that the State pays for, having taxpayers who "chose" to have jobs and homes pay for me to "choose" not to, I can "choose" to let all my teeth rot out to never ever go to the dentist again, I can "choose" to eat junk day in and day out and eventually "choose" killing myself with obesity related health issues.

But are those REALLY choices?

I read recently in one of my myriad of speculative non-fiction books, The ESP Reader edited by David C. Knight, that "[the Other side has] a steadfast refusal to give advice or opinions on matters of our everyday lives. The argument seemed to be that everyday life is a series of opportunities for making decisions; that those decisions form character; that making another man's decisions for him deprives him unwarrantedly of opportunity." (substitute choices for decisions)

On the surface this seems to be saying we do have free choice. Look and think a little deeper and "everyday life" becomes the box.

I don't know that I'm trying to actually SAY anything and I know my examples are not the best, but I've been thinking about this for a while now and a blog is a journal where you can type/write out your thoughts to see if you can disentangle them, clarify them, come up with some sort of perspective or point that makes sense out of the whirl.

Especially since we don't actually really CHOOSE our president. Now I've raised some points.

Project Runway in Nutshell #9

Heidi told our intrepid designers that Tim was taking them on a field trip.

Christian was less then thrilled to be going to a borough of NYC.

Designers arrived at the New York Port Authority and watched a slowly rising garage door.

Inside were clotheslines full of jeans. I was totally expecting something waste managment-like, would have made for a funner show.

Challenge: design an iconic denim look that is original and creative and they have until midnite.

They had three minutes to grab and fill a laundry bag full of denim and white cotton.

Poor Chris, I bet he was having flashbacks from almost passing out on the first show's fabric race in the park.

Back in the workroom, Viewers were treated to editor's choice tidbits of smack-talkin' Christian targeting first one person then another. When he finally left the room, Chris said someone should give Christian a bottle and send him to bed. Jillian practically wet her pants laughing.

Tim swanned through, being "blown away" or handing out razzes.

Jillian, again with the time management issues and riding the emotional rollercoaster, has a mini breakdown and was simultaneously sewing and crying and bleeding "from sticking the tips of her fingers repeatedly". Rami and Christian helpfully pointed out she needs to just suck it up, she knew what she was getting into when she signed up for this boat.

Runway Day: Heidi let designers know immunity will no longer be an option for winners.

On the runway with their designs and models
Praised: Christian, Rami, Ricky (who cried coz he didn't suck), and Sweet P
Bashed: Chris, Jillian, and Victorya

Judges views thru the Slambo filter: It's the Ricky they've been waiting for - he finally stepped away from the babydoll, Christian was the only one who sent out a new jean design - spray painted denim with sleeves for pant legs, Sweet P made a dress-it-up-or-down dress with the "slimming voodoo" magic any woman can wear and love - she'd have been bashed if Tim hadn't knocked the hippieness of her original that made her change direction, and Rami finally made something different that didn't involve the DRAPE. Jillian made an unflattering denim marshmellow - the coat was an abysmal repeat of last week's design but cute sleeves tho, Chris contained his drag queenesque tendencies to his detriment, and Victorya shot herself in the foot when she said she took a jacket and just basically built a big butt skirt on it.

Winner: Ricky, who had to do a double take he didn't believe it.
Christian was totally pissed he didn't win again!
Auffed: Victorya, the trash bag trend is dead. Amen!

Cattraiture

Playing around with my camera. I love how these turned out. The tweaked color is because I was taking them in the bathroom. Gotta try this in natural light some time.

Inspiration is...

my mother, Wednesday's Child.

Last January my mom decided she was ready to make a lifestyle change. At first I had no idea, she kept her plans to herself and as she has mentioned in her blog, the changes did not show up at first although they were happening. But once the changes started being visual, Mom shared with me that she was cutting her calories and walking. My parents got Riley, the uberfabulous pup, shortly after the beginning of the lifestyle change who provided a much needed walking companion and incentive as he always wants and is ready for a walk.

I watched my mom be the incredible shrinking woman. She kept me posted of her progress and changes, how she wrote down and figured out the math of recipes, the things that no longer fit and fit again, creative ways to make 1200 calories be enough, how to avoid her favorite food bread, and by July she was tiny in my eyes. She told me she wasn't at her target yet, but I thought she looked simply amazing.

So I thought long and hard about what she was doing and how good she looked. And in July '07 I made a decision to make a lifestyle change myself. If Mom could do it, there was no reason I shouldn't. Laziness and whining about my own overweightness wasn't working and I was unhappy.

I had to be realistic about the change. Mom has much more time during the day to walk and she has Riley who needs to walk multiple times a day. Mom is also much more disciplined, more of a stickler for details, and she likes way more veggies than I do. She is also less dependent on sweets than I am. So I decided I would stay between 1200-1400 calories, record what I ate each day, and add walking to my day at work (by getting up after each page printed, walk across the office, across the hall, across the next office to the printer, and back to my desk).

I didn't notice changes right away either, but by the time I had my doctors' appts at the end of August, there were some changes. My clothes fit a little better and the scale at the drs were no longer where I started which was 190+ 2 or 3 pounds (and wearing size 14-16). Both of my doctors praised me for my start.

And while Mom kept on losing weight and looking better and better, I was too. Not as fast or as dramatic as her coz I wasn't staying right at 1200 and I wasn't walking nearly as much as her, but doing a decent job. I inspired a co-worker to make a life-style change of her own with the changes she noticed happening to me.

By Christmas '07, Mom was 70 pounds smaller and all of my What Not to Wear make over clothes that I'd bought for my birthday two Augusts ago were loose, I needed a belt for all of the bottoms, the belts I bought last May that I could wear on the last hole were now notched to the third and fourth hole depending on the jeans or skirt, dressy shoes from years ago fit again, and I felt better, more like myself in a long time.

My friend, J, came to visit around New Year's. She hadn't seen me since last Christmas and she was very very complimentary about the change in me. She said the last time she visited that she thought my "spark" was gone and I didn't seem happy. Now I had my "spark" back and seemed to be my old self again. So much so she dared me to go out for New Year's with her and her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend.

I said yes. Let the musical wardrobe begin. I have bins in the basement of clothes from my party era (and a little after) that didn't fit anymore pre-change, but I went down and tried a bunch of stuff on to come up with a confident "I feel good" outfit. I was surprised at some of the things that fit and some of the things that almost fit. I took a few of the fit things upstairs and tried them all on in front of the mirror. I ended up wearing a wonderful chenille AnnTaylor sweater with my favorite Gap low rise tightish (but appropriate tight, not sausage tight) jeans that make my legs look thinner than they are. The sweater hasn't been worn in years. It looked great. J thought I looked great, her daughter did too. I caught some guys staring at my ass. I had a wonderful time out.

Recently I've been feeling like I've not been doing a very good job with sticking to the lifestyle change but when I put my just-purchased size 12 EddieBauer low rise jeans on yesterday to go visit my friend J2, they were no longer TIGHT, but good. I just had to take pictures.

So here's me, about 30 pounds lighter, wearing size 12, and feeling much better about ME.

Thanks Mom, I wouldn't have done it if not for your wonderful example!

Yeah Me!

I love you, Mom!

It's A Miracle!

I've always wondered how I would react if a miracle happened to me.

Well, now I know. Oblivious and slightly cranky.

My vision is bad, almost legally blind in one eye and the other eye has an astigmatism that is not able to be completely corrected with contact lenses so it's vision is always slightly fuzzy and less than 20/20. This means the blind eye has to carry the burden of me seeing clear... I know what you're thinking and yeah, that's what I said to my eye doctor. And yes I'm safe to drive.

Back to the miracle.

I woke up this morning with a faint feeling of unease and like I had a random cat hair floating around in my eye socket. Not painful, just that something was slightly wrong. I greeted the cats and spent most of my time waking up and feeding them, trying unsuccessfully to remove the imaginary cat hair. I even attempted to take pictures of birds feeding at my feeders and saw a flock of cardinals (20 or so) flying in the sky in the direction of the sunrise. It was an amazing sight and I never even questioned it.

The actual impact of the miracle did not hit me until I finished making my lunch and was headed back to the bathroom to shower. Not being fully awake, it never even registered that...

I could see. I could SEE!!! NO squinting (like I'm doing now typing this with my nose glued to the monitor), no straining, no fuzziness, nothing but I could actually see things.

Then I realized I had forgotten to take my contacts out last night and that is why I experienced the miracle of sight this morning.

And the slight feeling of unease and crankiness and like something was wrong.

How ungrateful am I?

Now I have to spend all day in my glasses as penance for not fully appreciating the miracle that is nice vision.

Boohoo.

Project Runway in Nutshell #8

or Reject Runaway as I'd like to refer to this season.

Whine Whine Whine Argue Argue Argue Cry Cry Cry Ego Ego Ego

Boooooorrrrrriinngggg.

Challenge: design an avaunt garde outfit to match the "just been fucked" hairdo's on the models of their choice. 2 days to complete and they will be put into teams of 2. Tim's input: the design "doesn't have to be practical or even particularly wearable".

Challenge within a challenge: Designers are told by Tim on the 2nd day that they also need to design a garment that embodies the avaunt garde but translates into ready-to-wear. 1 day to complete and this was a complete surprise sprung on our hardy whiners, I mean, designers. Deswhigners "make it work"!

Teams: leaders named first

Kit and Ricky - sounds kinda Kicky but is actually quite sickly. Do = Flat-topped flipado, team dubbed it the birdnest

Rami and Sweet P - Control Freak versus Rebel Without a Clue. Do= Long red waves

Christian and Chris - dubbed themselves "Team Fierce". Do = Big ass bun (sort of like dog turds piled onto the back of the head)

Victorya and Jillian - or as I dubbed them "Team Vahjayjay". Do = Ponytail faux-hawk

As expected the soft voiced "Team Vahjayjay" spent the ENTIRE creative part of the show whining about time managment issues while they s.....l......o.....w.....l....y made a big long coat with tartan lining (J), riding pants (V), a top with bows over the butt (V), and Jillian scraped the ready-to-wear "little black" dress together in 2 hours on the last day while their models were haired and make-upped.

"Team Fierce" went all out with a flesh colored chiffon layer upon layer upon layer cake with a ruff the size of Chris and little ruffled ready-to-wear top the size of Christian aka "Fierosh". Hard to tell where one left off and the other began, they giggled so much.

Kit and Ricky were in ecstasies over creating a hoop-skirted dress with a barely there top to match their model's barely there breasts with a little ready-to-wear apron dress complete with pockets.

Rami and Sweet P spent the ENTIRE creation part of the show in a power struggle. Rami insisted on Sweet P not messing with his been-there-done-that draped number (R) over black Depends-accomodating pants (SP) for the avaunt garde look and made her cry with his overbearing ways, but she got her own back by taking complete charge of the little ready-to-wear pleaty grey number.

Highest were Teams "Fierce" and "Vahjayjay" - both were praised excessively and Victorya pointed out her team should win as they actually made 3 looks. Eye rolls of disgust all around I'm sure, as their ready-to-wear dress was totally pulled out of Jillian's butt at the VERY last minute.

Lowest were Teams "Kicky but Sickly" and "Conflict" - Sweet P actually was kudoed for her little dress, Rami totally knocked for being a one-note designer (yet he stays, like a bad rash), Ricky once again knocked for being disappointing and amateurish, and Kit knocked for execution and cheapiness.

Winner: Christian

Team "Fierce" aka, C&C Design Factory were featured with their dresses in a Tresemme ad in Elle magazine.

Auffed: Kit, surely for her execution issues which Nina and the guest judge spent a lot of time pointing out.

Ricky in again by the skin of his teeth and his teariness was edited out but shown in the preview of this episode. I hate when they do that.

How Uncouth Am I?

Well, I'll tell you how abysmally unladylike I've been.

Shoveling mid-calf high snow last night from my driveway was tough going.

Not only was I bundled up like a toddler with 4 layers on top (T-shirt, long sleeve shirt, sweatshirt, windbreaker, and winter pullover) and 3 layers on bottom (long undies, sweatpants, and snowpants) but I had ski socks on, two sets of mittens, a neck gator, a fleece headband, and a hat.

So saying I was warm while heaving snow would be an understatement. But taking off a layer was not okay because it was 9:00pm (and I shoveled until 11:00pm), the wind was blowing, and the windchill factor was in play. And I don't participate in the Frostbite Games.

So anyway, being all warm and physically active meant my nose was running to beat the band.

With two sets of mittens on, fine motor skills were nonexistant. Opening my front pocket, getting the paper towel out, and positioned over my nose was not happening.

What did I do? (Coz traipsing into the house every 5 minutes was not an option.)

I put my mittens along side my nose and BLEW into the piles on either side of my driveway. Effectively solving my problem.

Sort of like hawking a loogie from my nostrils if you will.

Thank goodness the neighbor walking his dog passed by before I had my brainwave.

Ladylike? Absolutely not.

Did it do the job? Yes indeedy do!

Cardinals Abound in Nor'easter!

I'm working from home today due to the Nor'easter that's snowing it's way through today. Started at 6am and has been going strong ever since. These cardinal pictures were taken on my "lunch" break. Most of them unfortunately are a wee bit blurry, but they are pretty nonetheless. And multiple cardinals too!

I'm so looking forward to all the shoveling I get to do tonight. Hopefully the snow will continue to be light and fluffy, which will make it easier on my back, legs, and arms. We'll see. The plow has been by twice and I have a lovely large pile at the end of my driveway.

The cats are all bestirred, not one of them has taken an extended nap due to me being home and on the work laptop so they are awake and cranky/needy. They have to be a part of every little thing. Doodle has to be all over the phone while I'm on it. Moomin can't decide if the laptop is a great big new toy or his new best friend to lay on. And Hobbes is scared of the laptop. They thought it was time for them to eat when I had my lunch. Hopefully we'll all be back on track tomorrow. I need a break from having butts in my face!

Project Runway in Nutshell #7

I have to be honest, I did not look forward to watching tonight's episode and then nutshelling about it. This season is so NOT GOOD at all and it's hard to whip up enthusiastically witty, catty, and funny blog posts.

But, this episode had some funny moments... especially Chris' portfolio of himself decked out in his majestic drag queen creations with the gigantic enormous breasticles, and his "client" and her mother had no idea it was him in the photos, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Challenge: to design a prom dress for Catholic school girls with Britney "Hit Me Baby One More Time" Spears aspirations.

All the school girls got to pick who they wanted to be their designer based on looking at their portfolios.

Christian was picked by the very antithesis of his tall thin hot Asian Barbie doll - a short, strongly opinionated, large and in charge black girl. I believe this is his Kharmic beeyotch slap! She took the pencil from him and sketched on his design. She told him she wanted lace, gold, jewels, and for the dress to be brown. She wanted this, that, and the other and basically railroaded him. "I'm very scared", "I want to cry", and "I'm so not feeling fierce right now" wailed Pipsqueak.

Victorya's "client", ironically enough, admitted she'd gotten last choice which was Victorya. Hmmmm...

Chris asked his "client" why she picked him and she said she wanted someone who would make her stand out and an outfit that would "pop". As they were collaborating, he asked her if she wanted a low front or a low back. She responded "both" which sent Chris straight into a giggle fit.

Ricky's de rigeur (sp?) teary moment came when he talked about his mother while we watched him rapid fire foreign language speak with his mother via cell phone.

Tim cautioned designers to keep their integrity when dealing with pushy school girls and the day ended with Christian pathetically stating "I can't let a 17 year old overpower me." even tho she could pick him up and WWF him but good.

The next day, most of the designers were wearing Doubting Thomas hats and second guessing their dress designs, especially Victorya and Christian.

Surprise!!! Tim brought in the models AND their mothers for a final fitting.

Christian got his comeuppance between his "client" and her mother. If you are going to act "all big n' stuff", you better have the filling to keep yourself big. Christian popped like blow-up doll! When Tim came around for his visit and expressed how concerned he was, Christian took the opportunity to wallow in the biggest pity party pool ever! And Tim metaphorically slapped him on his little baby bottom and basically told him to suck it up and move on. Right on!

As he had immunity, Rami pleased himself with a god awful green and matronly drape.

Victorya decided to make yet another trash bag, but in bright blue with a bib of fake gems.

Kevin decided not to hem against Chris' sage advice.

Runway Day

Highest:
Sweet P (!!) who did design and make a nice dress. Charmeuse is such a pretty fabric when it moves. How could you go wrong with that fabric for a choice unless you butchered it? And Sweet P didn't. The judges were all googly about it but I thought she had execution issues around the sides of the boobies - I saw some gaping there that'd cause big issues on the dance floor although her date wouldn't mind.
Victorya (!!!OMG!!!) who designed a big blue be-gemmed trash bag. The judges were all "it's so modern, fun, young, cute, blah blah blah". What have they been smoking when it comes to her designs? Flattering? NO WAY. Modern? NO WAY unless she's tryng to start a new trend for us to go out and buy Hefty bags, cut a hole in the bottom, stick our heads thru hole, and gather up the tops around midthigh and knot them in place with the ties. Fun? NO WAY unless we are practicing getting asphixiation buzzes.

Lowest: 4 of them this time 'round,
One of which was Rami with his baby-poop-green drapey matronly dress but he had immunity so he didn't go.
Kevin with his cheap insta-aging non-hemmed halter-topped red affair.
Ricky with his skin-tone-colored bubble-skirted baby doll dress with the rhinestone trim.
Christian with his lacey brown mess of a dress.

Kevin knocked for not hemming.
Christian knocked for throwing his "client" under the bus and blaming her for the disaster he made.
Ricky knocked for washing his "client" out and falling short of the mark yet again.
Rami knocked for pleasing himself.

Winner: Victorya and her trash bag - how could we not have guessed this outcome??!!

Auffed: Kevin who put a "straight" spin on his leaving by saying hugging Heidi was worth it.
Christian had a large helping of humble pie stuffed into his gullet. Question is, will he learn from this? Probably not.
Ricky teary-eyed again.

The Ugly Side of Snow

I have no where else to put it and it's getting harder and harder to fling the shoveled snow over the tall banks on either side of the driveway. The lilac placement isn't helping any either!

Let's hope the predicted "January Thaw" comes so I will be able to cope for the rest of the winter's snowstorms!

Project Runway in Nutshell #6

Or "The Field Trip Episode".

Morning.

Kevin feeling the lack of Steven.

Christian was not.

Jillian channeled the '80's with shorts with black tights underneath.

Model Repick: 2 to go this time.

Christian went for a change.

Sweet P not picked last and almost has a conniption.

Rami made a change too.

Ricky made a "difficult" decision which he was able to do w/out crying.

Heidi said they were going on a field trip the next day and to rest up.

Next morning.

Tim is an impeccable and cheerful alarm clock.

Kit is not.

Plenty of shots promoting good dental hygiene.

Field trip was to Times Square, specifically the Hershey's store.

Challenge: create an outfit of their choice using items from the Hershey's store as raw materials.

Condition 1: 5 minutes to fill shopping bags with whatever can grab.

Condition 2: only one day to complete the design.

Chris grabbed all the pillows as "he's worked with food before" and it's more trouble than it's worth.

Jillian grabbed all the Twizzlers she could lay her hands on (she's not learned what Chris has).

Christian grabbed all the Reese's PB cups he could lay his little effeminate hands on.

Commercial: Santino in various disturbingly fakeish roles - pimpy, professorial, preachy, and B-Boy - and incongruously driving a Saturn.

Back in the workroom everyone was working on getting a sugar high.

Montage of Elise working while sitting on the floor, sitting on the table, sitting on her mannequin as her voice-over relates her car accident story (Miss Crunchy Granola was hit by a Porshe of all the materialistic things, why not a Volvo?).

Christian finished early and acted sugar drunk and ego driven for the rest of the evening.

Everyone experienced the eventual sugar crash, especially Sweet P.

Tim's visit.
Told Rami Jillian was his target customer.
Told Victorya her white was not effective.
Told Elise she needed to "wow" him.
Told Jillian to watch her time.
Told Sweet P her skirt looked like a coffee filter or a Maxi pad.

Runway Day.

Models came in, initial fittings, Jillian's model hunkered down with needle and thread in the spirit of "I sink or swim with you", hair, make-up, final fittings, Jillian's dress is on her model.

Commercial: as a nod to PR's "boys", the Levi's 501 guy pulls up his jeans and instead of a girl all gift-wrapped up in a telephone booth, it's a guy instead and they exchange languishing glances at each other. Too bad the jean-puller-upper guy's languishing glance segment is the exact same as the commercial with the girl, kinda kills the effect they were going for.

Runway and judging.

Victorya's model did this weird stick-up-her-butt-music-box-prance that was V's idea.

All the models seemed to enjoy their outfits.

Ricky, Christian, Kevin, Kit safe.

Christian peeved he wasn't in the top three or the winner.

Top three:

Rami: used York Peppermint Patties wrappers for his skirt - told his outfit had charm, spirit, and fit.

Jillian: used Twizzlers for bodice detailing and fringe on skirt - told her outfit was playful, sexy, and deliciously chic. N = "Hard work shows!" J = "She smells delicious too."

Chris: used Hershey pillow fabric - told his outfit was a smart editing choice (coz he could have given them a parade float) and had good texture.

Bottom three:

Elise: used brown velvet and silver water wings - told her outfit was boring, no joy, and a flea market find.

Victorya: (FINALLY) used white ruffles with a smidge of silver - told her outfit was also joyless, not fanciful or wearable and she was knocked for her model's stupid walk.

Sweet P: silver schmear on top of a Maxi pad - told her outfit was also boring and looked like she threw it together.

Winner: Rami

Auffed: Elise (who sat on the table to pack up her stuff and said this experience will "fortify" her work)

In: Sweet P, seriously!!??

Previews for next week's show - surprise, Ricky cries!

Merry Christmas!!

Leisurely morning, I read, cats napped, except for Moomin under the tree. I keep finding ornaments around the house.

Over at my parents' house, we ate lunch, opened presents, talked to my brother on the phone, played SuperScrabble (2x the tiles and spaces, quadruple letter and word scores) for a very long time (Riley couldn't understand why we weren't giving him the tiles as a treat) and had Christmas Burritos (see Wednesday's Child for details on this tradition!) for dinner.

I like this picture of Mom, she's telling a story and I didn't use the flash so her action-hands came out all ghostly!

Dad demostrating "what not to do with your new Christmas tool from your son".

Riley opened his present with a little help. At first he was ambivalent about asking for help coz, I don't know, his crazy humans might take his present and chuck it, but he managed to get it open and enjoy it for the entire afternoon and evening.

It's a good time when you can shove an entire ball in your mouth and gnaw away...

And you gotta make sure not only to keep it close, but you've got to generously coat the entire ball with foamy spit so your owners are less likely to try to take the present back.

Operation Shovel Up After a Shitstorm Complete

So Sunday morning I wake up to this little fella...

I had no idea squirrels braved nor'easters to dig for food. Quite the fur coat and muff he's got going on. I just felt for him, if you click to see bigger you'll see the snow all over his face and between his ears.

This one came in the afternoon as you can tell by the difference in the amount of snow piled up on the feeder. Both of them dug to find the sunflower seeds I'd put out Saturday morning.

Luckily I shoveled the 6+ inches that had fallen late afternoon before the storm turned to rain. So ALL I had to shovel at 10pm was two inches. Snort. Those two inches were heavier than the 6+ inches. One third water, one third snow, one third ice - HEAVY. And stuck to my shovel so on my upswing to get the crap over the waist high piles on either side of my driveway, I ended up going with the shovel coz the immoveable weight took me along for the ride! I can't tell you how many times I almost crashed and froze. I almost gave up quite a few times. Boy am I so glad I didn't - it all turned to ice over night and wasn't going anywhere this morning. I had to chip the end-of-the-driveway-snowplow-came-in-the-middle-of-the-night remains this morning. Bummer.

I'm exhausted. Typing was an unbelievable chore today, as was just sitting.

Operation Candy Making Complete

I created this Christmas tradition about 4 years ago, when I started my current job. I have a bunch of supportive co-workers who have partaken in various culinary experiments of mine. They raved so much about these candies, that I decided to make them every year in lieu of trying to buy individual gifts. This way everyone gets what they want and no one has to secretly envy another. Besides, I like making them and trying new flavors out on them. This year's new flavors are Lemon and Orange-Pineapple. I really wish my hands hadn't been so very messy because I would have liked to have been able to take snaps of the sheer magnitude of candy I had in my kitchen Saturday night. I had trays and trays over every flat surface. I had to use my garage as a refrigerator coz they wouldn't fit inside the house. You'll have to make do with the pic below.

These are the two boxes that I'm thinking of bringing to the office potluck on Friday.

This pic didn't come out so good, not enough light. So here are the flavors and colors of the little flowers by row. The color of the flowers lets people know what flavor they are before they bite into them coz not everyone likes to be surprised. Yes, I made a color coded key out of stamps coz I'm a bit of a neatnik perfectionist and I'd like a key! Just sayin'.

Row 1: Orange flowers = Orange-Pineapple (Wal-Mart o-p cream sandwich cookies)
Row 2: Sprinkles = Peanut Butter (Nutter Butters)
Row 3: Pink = Chocolate Chip (Chips Ahoy)
Row 4: Blue = Oreo (nuff said)
Row 5: Green = Mint (Grasshoppers)
Row 6: White = Pecan Sandies
Row 7: Yellow = Lemon (I think they were Archway brand - sort of resembled Nilla Wafers)

I spent all of Friday night crushing the cookies and mixing them with cream cheese. I COMPLETELY forgot about using my Cuisinart. DUH! Chilled over night.

Then all day Saturday was cut them into cubes, dip them into melted chocolate, let them harden, and divy them up into tins, bags, and boxes. I have 18 people to give to this year.

I brought the co-workers' tins in today. R, newbie (wasn't here last Xmas), bit into one and said,

"NOW I know what people are talking about when they mention your candy in that certain way!" as her eyes glazed over.

Mission accomplished!

Project Runway in Nutshell #5

Sorry, this one's not going to be so funny or full o' wit. Not feeling so ON today, guess I'm feeling the underwhelming effects of tonight's America's Next Top Model finale which sucked some serious ass as the top two and the winner are definitely not Top Model material.

Show started:

Jack was worried as he might have a staph infection.

Sweet P was sad as Chris left behind a void.

Christian was as narcissitic as usual.

Model Swap turned out to be Model Surprise as Heidi introduced new models who were "real" women that have each lost a significant amount of weight.

Challenge: Design an outfit, using the favorite too big clothes the models were wearing as the raw materials, that is suitable for everyday and reflects not only the model's tastes but the designers' styles.

Christian had a hissy fit because he can only design for thin walking "clothes hanger" hot Asian Barbie dolls. Luckily Karma gave him a model who had strong dislikes and basically bitch-slapped him into order personality-wise.

After shots of fast and frantic shopping and some initial fitting, Jack decided he needed to call his doctor as his face wasn't getting any better. Poor Jack, he was starting to look like a Garbage Pail Kid. His doctor told him he needed to come in for treatment and Jack took Tim aside to let him know he needed to leave for medical reasons.

Tim had everyone "gather 'round" and had Jack say his goodbyes. Everyone cried, yes that included Ricky who always has enough extra moisture for a good cry.

Viewers were then treated to Ricky in gold strappy heels. I could SOOO see him as Mr. Slave when he put those shoes and his model's jeans on, all he needed were the chaps!

Tim had everyone "gather 'round again" for a surprise... Chris was brought back to fill in the gap. "Didja miss me?" Giggle giggle giggle. Sweet P and Elisa were ecstatic.

And because he had a late start, Chris got to work through the night. As if that's going to help him. Tim cautioned Chris not to make bad late night decisions. And Tim is speaking from experience as "he's made so many bad decisions at 3 o'clock in the morning." Everyone started snicker-giggling because their minds are in the gutter. Tim called himself "an old fart" when he finally caught on to why everyone was laughing coz Tim doesn't do the gutter.

Many takes and shots of Steve refusing to deal with the wedding dress. "It's too polyester, it's too beaded, it's too fake laced, it's too much material, it's too white, it's too TOO". Suck it up and get over it already!

Runway Day:

Ricky cried again after his model gets hair and make-upped.

Steven was panic-sweating and finally resorted to using glue to put his awful outfit together and getting two other designers to help him. What I don't understand is why he couldn't finish what was basically a simple sack-like black dress in the time allotted?

Plenty of confidence floating around ready to be popped.

Most of the models hammed it up walking down the runway. Is it me or did most of them walk like they were football linebackers?

I liked Ricky's - thought it was flattering around the waist and bosom but then, that's what he's used to designing for. Ditto for Kevin's yellow and black ensemble, her weight loss was definitely shown off to great effect. Rami actually had the top of his outfit fit the model's boobies, most everyone else had loose booby-fitting issues. Why is that they can't deal appropriately with real boobies? Only a small percentage of the entire real woman population have boobies that hold themselves up either on their own or with silicone assistance. Lift and separate has always been the golden rule, or has everyone lost their ever-loving mind and decided below the elbow bend is attractive?

Top Three:

Kevin - judges could tell his model was extremely satisfied with her outfit, walkin' all sassy, but the leggings he needed to be careful with.

Jillian - despite not using the original red material, the judges all thought the dress was sexy and beautiful. I had issues with the "girls" not being lifted up and actually broke out in song - "Do your boobies hang low, do they wobble to and fro, can you tie 'em in a knot, can you tie 'em in a bow. can you throw them over your shoulder like a Continental soldier, do your boobies hang low?"

Christian - judges thought it was very him, hip, young. His model didn't want to take it off.

Bottom Three:

Elisa - judges thought she didn't reflect her client (though her client said she liked it) and it was too chopped up color scheme-wise to be flattering.

Steve - judges thought it was a horrible French Maid Attending a Funeral, at least they didn't spot any pins a la Ricky coz he used glue!

Chris - judges said he was too wrapped up in cliches and costumes (what a surprise).

Winner: Christian who said "I've finally fucking won a challenge!" No false modesty or humble pie for this beeyotch boy.

Auffed: Steven, which we could have seen coming a mile away.

Quick Project Runway First Impression Update

I'm going to be making a popculture reference and if you don't watch SouthPark, you're not gonna get it, but here goes...

Ricky is Mr. Slave!! Pictures don't lie!

I was channel surfing tonight and caught the episode where Mr. Garrison turns into Mrs. Garrison and Mr. Slave wasn't too happy about the equipment change.

Ricky in his hats and black clothes looks JUST like Mr. Slave - well, minus the mustache but I'm sure Ricky has chaps!

Photo courtesy of Comedy Central.

Project Runway in Nutshell #4

Well, well, well...

Carmen fall-out is nothing more than more space in the girls' apartment and a Carmenic beeyotchslap for Ricky as Jack decided to "swap" his model for Ricky's.

Challenge: take three out-dated fashion trends and create a cohesive relevant-for-today collection of 3 outfits.

Each designer picked a trend...

Jack - pleather (a gay man's dream fabric, well, other than satin)

Victorya - underwear as outerwear

Christian - Zoot suit (go figure he'd pick the most structured trend)

Rami - poodle skirt

Kit - fringe

Elisa - cutouts (this is soooo up her alternate alley)

Jillian - overalls (this is soooo inside her comfort zone, she's been wearing nothing but jumpers which proves my first impression of her was right)

Ricky - neon

Kevin - 70's flare

Chris - Joan Crawford shoulders (nothing says costume designer like Joan Crawford - she was as exaggerated as her shoulder pads)

Steven - dancewear (you'd expect him to stay as far away from the baggy sweater as possible as that particular item put him in the bottom two group last challenge)

Sweet P - baggy sweater (for all her complaining about her button being stuck to the bottom of the bag and having to be last, she got the most versatile and easiest one to work with)

Monkey wrench - designers had to divide up into teams of three.

Team Chris consisted of Steven and Sweet Pea

Team Jillian consisted of Rami and Kevin

Team Christian consisted of Kit and Jack

Team Ricky/no, Victorya/no, Ricky/no, Victorya/no, Ricky! Okay fine...

Team Ricktorya consisted of Elisa (interesting power sandwich she's found herself being the filling for)

Team dynamics:

Team Christian was giggle fittin' and fabric fightin'.

Team Jillian had time crunch issues with Kevin taking 2 days to make a pair of shorts and Rami and Jillian agreeing to disagree about leadership - R's take is to breathe down minion's neck and J's take is said minion is an adult and should be able to handle a deadline.

Team Ricktorya squabbled back and forth about who was really the leader of the pack.

Team Chris each went their own directions but tried to keep the camel color as their cohesive thread drawing their designs together. Chris thought it was his opportunity to show he was more than "To Wong Fu, Thanks for Everything, Love Julie Newmarr", which he's really not.

Day Two:

Steven did a really weak impression of Tim, not even close to Santino's which eerily sounded just like Tim. Victorya called herself "not a bossy cow". Frustration reared it's ugly head as Kevin discovered his model's butt was bigger than Jillian's so all his pleating was cancelled out and Team Ricktorya yet again explored the meaning of leadership and engaged in Bodice Wars over Ricky's black outlining of the harlequin pattern.

Runway Day and I think I've overdosed on gayboy lisping.

Kevin, the lone straight man, informed the Viewers he was going to have pull a magic rabbit out of his ass (hah hah) to get his shorts done. And he did to Jillian's relieved satisfaction. Victorya and Ricky went head to head in the Bosom Battle, a smaller skirmish in the Bodice Wars. Victorya prefers a flatter bust and Ricky likes to accentuate the positive. Victorya surrendered (maybe because her model said she was more comfy after Ricky's adjustments than V's).

Winner: Team Jillian - it was a very cohesive look, well finished and fitted if not show stopping, that incorporated all their outdated trends with modern flair in a pseudo-denimy fabric.

Bottom Two Teams: Team Chris and Team Ricktorya - both were told they were not cohesive collections and some team members had less-than-desirable work.

Bottom Two Designers: Chris and Ricky who had to endure scathingly truthful criticism for their really bad designs. Ricky coz his was poorly constructed (yet again) and Chris coz his was a poor choice jacket-wise (looked like couch fabric to me).

Auffed: Chris

Surprise Surprise Ricky no cries (tho he did look like he might have been ready to start during his backstage shot).

Let It Snow, Let It Snow,

Let it snow... so we wake up this morning to our first significant snowfall of winter. I've shoveled twice today and have make the executive decision to not shovel tonight, but wake up early and shovel out as it is supposed to snow overnight.

Moomin's watching the snow fall. He thinks if the snowflakes come close enough to the window, he can catch them.

I always love how the snow transforms my driftwood each time it snows.

Moomin watching from another view point. He's missing the birds who haven't visited at all today.

Doodle could care less about the snow. All she wants is the furnace to go off so she can huddle as close to the hot air register as possible (Hobbes does the same thing, his pics were blurry), besides whining for my lap.