I have to be honest, I did not look forward to watching tonight's episode and then nutshelling about it. This season is so NOT GOOD at all and it's hard to whip up enthusiastically witty, catty, and funny blog posts.
But, this episode had some funny moments... especially Chris' portfolio of himself decked out in his majestic drag queen creations with the gigantic enormous breasticles, and his "client" and her mother had no idea it was him in the photos, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Challenge: to design a prom dress for Catholic school girls with Britney "Hit Me Baby One More Time" Spears aspirations.
All the school girls got to pick who they wanted to be their designer based on looking at their portfolios.
Christian was picked by the very antithesis of his tall thin hot Asian Barbie doll - a short, strongly opinionated, large and in charge black girl. I believe this is his Kharmic beeyotch slap! She took the pencil from him and sketched on his design. She told him she wanted lace, gold, jewels, and for the dress to be brown. She wanted this, that, and the other and basically railroaded him. "I'm very scared", "I want to cry", and "I'm so not feeling fierce right now" wailed Pipsqueak.
Victorya's "client", ironically enough, admitted she'd gotten last choice which was Victorya. Hmmmm...
Chris asked his "client" why she picked him and she said she wanted someone who would make her stand out and an outfit that would "pop". As they were collaborating, he asked her if she wanted a low front or a low back. She responded "both" which sent Chris straight into a giggle fit.
Ricky's de rigeur (sp?) teary moment came when he talked about his mother while we watched him rapid fire foreign language speak with his mother via cell phone.
Tim cautioned designers to keep their integrity when dealing with pushy school girls and the day ended with Christian pathetically stating "I can't let a 17 year old overpower me." even tho she could pick him up and WWF him but good.
The next day, most of the designers were wearing Doubting Thomas hats and second guessing their dress designs, especially Victorya and Christian.
Surprise!!! Tim brought in the models AND their mothers for a final fitting.
Christian got his comeuppance between his "client" and her mother. If you are going to act "all big n' stuff", you better have the filling to keep yourself big. Christian popped like blow-up doll! When Tim came around for his visit and expressed how concerned he was, Christian took the opportunity to wallow in the biggest pity party pool ever! And Tim metaphorically slapped him on his little baby bottom and basically told him to suck it up and move on. Right on!
As he had immunity, Rami pleased himself with a god awful green and matronly drape.
Victorya decided to make yet another trash bag, but in bright blue with a bib of fake gems.
Kevin decided not to hem against Chris' sage advice.
Runway Day
Highest:
Sweet P (!!) who did design and make a nice dress. Charmeuse is such a pretty fabric when it moves. How could you go wrong with that fabric for a choice unless you butchered it? And Sweet P didn't. The judges were all googly about it but I thought she had execution issues around the sides of the boobies - I saw some gaping there that'd cause big issues on the dance floor although her date wouldn't mind.
Victorya (!!!OMG!!!) who designed a big blue be-gemmed trash bag. The judges were all "it's so modern, fun, young, cute, blah blah blah". What have they been smoking when it comes to her designs? Flattering? NO WAY. Modern? NO WAY unless she's tryng to start a new trend for us to go out and buy Hefty bags, cut a hole in the bottom, stick our heads thru hole, and gather up the tops around midthigh and knot them in place with the ties. Fun? NO WAY unless we are practicing getting asphixiation buzzes.
Lowest: 4 of them this time 'round,
One of which was Rami with his baby-poop-green drapey matronly dress but he had immunity so he didn't go.
Kevin with his cheap insta-aging non-hemmed halter-topped red affair.
Ricky with his skin-tone-colored bubble-skirted baby doll dress with the rhinestone trim.
Christian with his lacey brown mess of a dress.
Kevin knocked for not hemming.
Christian knocked for throwing his "client" under the bus and blaming her for the disaster he made.
Ricky knocked for washing his "client" out and falling short of the mark yet again.
Rami knocked for pleasing himself.
Winner: Victorya and her trash bag - how could we not have guessed this outcome??!!
Auffed: Kevin who put a "straight" spin on his leaving by saying hugging Heidi was worth it.
Christian had a large helping of humble pie stuffed into his gullet. Question is, will he learn from this? Probably not.
Ricky teary-eyed again.
Christian had a large helping of humble pie stuffed into his gullet. Question is, will he learn from this? Probably not.
Ricky teary-eyed again.
2 comments:
I thought there was a bustline issue with Sweet P's dress from the beginning. and did she hem? there was a lot of fabric on the floor.
The blue gathered trash bag with glued on glitter was what the judges liked? the fix may be in here. Meaning the winner has already been decided for the whole runway show. Perhaps this is what Tim was refering to in his season 4 comment on judging. What would Laura have said about this?
Why did christian run out of brown fabric? He had 200 dollars and that was the cheapest stuff around. He could have bought 20 yards and upholstered a couch.
Chris is truly enjoying himself-- he's already been auffed. and the drag queen book was very funny.
The BEST moment for me was when the girl told VictorYa that she picked last and in essense-- "no one else wanted YOU!!!" On national TV.
I laughed when Kevin mentioned he got a hug from Heidi- it was his last chance to enure that all of America knows that, even if he is a designer on PR, he is straight, goddammit!! Straight, straight, straight!!
Methinks he protests too much.
On the other hand, the Rami/Christian/Chris room has got to be the gayest room this side of Castro Street.
I'm still not impressed with any of the designers- I think the fix has been in for a while- for some reason, no matter how bad their designs are, Rami and Victorya survive. They'll be in the final three (I'm hoping they don't pull the "All 4 of you are going to fashion week" again).
I'm about ready to write this show off- there's been a decided drop in quality from the first two seasons. I thought the third was bad with some very suspicious judging, but this season is even worse.
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