Project Runway in Nutshell #13

I have to confess.

I totally did not watch the beginning of the show. I joined things 20 minutes in.

I was wrapped up with organizing photos for my photo class.

Basically the pre-runway moments I remember:

1) Jillian's angst about her lack of cohesion with her model picks and she kept trying to smooth down the ginormous poodle that took up residence on her tiny little head.

2) Jillian the Meatless Wonder in the totally Gay Sandwich made with Honey Wheat slices of Tim and Rami and a fierce helping of a spicy Christian condiment.

3) Christian's ozone-depleting moment while getting his models ready.

On with the show...

First: Jillian's perky butt-swingin' bottoms with their whiff of bustles, abbreviated petticoats, and pantaloons and an overemphasis on coats/jackets and breast armor for the tops. No evening gowns but a pair of evening pants.

Second: Rami with his dowager color choices, edited draping, and woven potholder detailing. His last two evening gowns were pretty, especially the black one (the one he used to auf Chris). I didn't like the first one of the three - the golden drapey one made the model look like she had a golden tumor sticking out of one hip.

Third: Christian with his monochromatic Praying Mantis models overwhelmed by ruffs, puffs, muffs, and hats. I loved the last two evening gowns tho. Some gorgeous!

Victoria Beckham was the guest judge. None of this "y" nonsense for her!

Judging: Both Jillian and Rami had pat pre-prepared runneth off the tongue answers to what their inspirations were. Poor Christian, he turned speechless for the first time evah as His Fierceness crumbled! Jillian was praised for her knitwear, Rami was praised for his potholders, and Christian was praised for his chic drama. All were equally praised for their effort, work, construction, and creativity - and rightly so. Nothing less then flawless came down the runway (well except for Rami's golden tumor dress). Victoria told Christian he made her smile and she doesn't smile for just anyone or anything (might give her wrinkles which would so NOT match her pneumatic gravity defying boobies and constantly shimmering cleavage).

Judges chitchat: Jillian was judged to be point-of-view challenged. Rami was judged to be colorifically challenged. And Christian was judged to be Puffin'Stuffin'ly challenged, but Victoria said his entire collection was completely to her taste.

Jillian - third runner up.

Rami - second place.

Christian - Winner! And he cried, genuinely and profusely. Nice to know there is a humble marshmellow under that tiny rhino hide. And we got to see his family, proof he isn't Thumbelina's long lost son! Although I'm betting he might still end up being a changeling. Christian walked off telling Victoria "we'll be in touch" (she'd generously told him she'd wear any of his designs) after he hugged all and sundry on the runway.