Oh For Those Days of Innocence

I went to a recent hospital booksale and there wasn't much there. I went over the room searching for certain authors and subjects first like I always do and then did a second go-round in case my specific blinders missed anything. I found this on the go-round and almost didn't buy it. I put it back but then picked it back up, flipped thru it, giggled at the contents and some of the text under the headings, and decided I could not pass it up. I'm very glad I didn't, I have been laughing what remains of my ass off! This lovely find "is based upon Harford Powel's epoch-making article entitled 'Bed Manners', which appeared in Vogue, December 1, 1933." These authors decided an article just wasn't enough for a "subject [that] has never before been discussed in print, and deserves the careful study which [the authors] have given it." I present to you (click for bigger view)...

"How to bring sunshine into your nights." Whoa, Nellie! This book is two volumes in one, the first volume's illustrator is far better than the one for the second volume.

I think my favorite chapters are #s 5, 9, 10, 13 (like yatchting was an everyday occurrence), and 14 (I know trains were).

See what I mean, more interesting to look at and more highbrow witty.

My favorite chapters in Vol 2 are #s 7, 8 (I'd like to see this advice work today), 9 (referring to a favorite subject), 12 (are sick people ever charming?), and it's companion 13 (don'ts for sick people).

See what I mean about the different type of illustrator? Not so attractive and highbrow.

If you are interested and lucky, maybe your library could find this book with an interlibrary loan!

MadPuppy's Scan Request

for taking him down Memory Lane! Hope this is the hard cover edition (the top one, bottom is the paperback) you remember!

The book I cheated, er used, for Thriller Thurs4.

Riley Makes a New Friend

So Riley got to meet my friend J2's son TJ. Small boys make him skitty. The whole time TJ was visiting him, you could tell Riley was thinking, "well he smells human, but he's alot smaller than the humans I'm used to, and a lot faster. I can't tell where he's gonna go next and he keeps coming towards making super high pitched noises that get my ears all a'ringin'. I don't know whether to be afraid or amused. Oops, here he comes! I gotta jump and run again! Where's my big people so I can hide behind them?"

Coming in for a sniff that's treat enhanced.

Riley needed some food encouragement to approach unfamiliar small boy who moves in unpredictable ways thus making Riley super skittish.

A boy, a dog, and some bubbles. What better way to spend the afternoon?

Doin' the Lucky Dog Dance!

Both these boys are sportin' fools and get all bestirred when it comes to tennis balls!

Thriller Thursday4

I have to admit, my life is not personally full of supernatural happenings or experiences. I've been wracking my memories trying to come up with thrilling episodes and other than strange but true barely coherent party stories, I got nada. So I present to you a mixed bag from a book sale find of mine called "Strangely Enough" by C.B. Colby. The blurb on the front of the book says "100 Hair-Raising Tales to Fascinate and Intrigue You! Fact or Fiction? Real or Imagination?" You're not getting 100 and I'll try to contain the tidbits to the Fact and Real ones.

Lost TV Signal (page 43)

"... In the early days of television some sets retained a picture long after the program was over... In September 1953, many television screens in England suddenly carried the identification card and call letters of TV station KLEE in Houston, Texas, thousands of miles across the Atlantic. The image stayed on the screen long enough for several viewers to take pictures of the remarkable occurrence. TV usually fades out after about 150 miles [this was back in the day, stop laughing] unless helped along with electronic devices and relay stations. In 1953 this was not possible... What really startled the TV world was the fact that when the British broadcasting engineers contacted KLEE in Houston to tell them of the unusual event, they learned that the station had been off the air for three years. Since that time, no KLEE indentification card had been shown. Where had that picture been for three years? Why did it only appear in England an how did it get back from wherever it had been?"

New England's Darkest Day (pages 29-30)

"... one of the most unusual dark days happened back in the spring of 1780, on May 19, ... May 19th dawned as bright and clear as usual, except that there appeared to be a haze to the southwest. This haze grew darker and soon the whole sky was covered with a thick cloud which was travelling northeast rapidly. It reached the Canadian border by midmorning. Meanwhile the eastern part of New York and Maine, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, Massachusetts and Connecticut were becoming darker and darker. By one o'clock some sections were so dark that white paper held a few inches from the eyes couldn't be seen. It was as dark as a starless night. Apprehension soon turned to panic. Schools were dismissed and lanterns and candles were lighted in homes and along the streets. One New Hampshire town history reports that chickens and birds went to roost,... Many people gathered in churches to pray and await what they assumed was the Judgment Day... That night the darkness continued and it was noted that by the light of lanterns everything seemed to have a faint greenish hue. A full moon was due to rise at nine, but it did not show until after one in the morning, when it appeared high in the sky and blood red. Shortly afterwards, stars began to appear, and the following morning the sun was as bright as ever after 14 hours of the strangest darkness ever to panic staunch New Englanders."

The Vanishing River Boat (pages 61-62)

"... It happened in June of 1872 near Vicksburg, Mississippi, on the great winding Mississippi River. This was the era when stern-wheelers were thick upon the muddy waters. The 'Iron Mountain' was one of these - a monster of a boat, with a length of nearly 180 feet and a beam (width) of 35 feet. She was powered with five huge boilers, and was only eight years old at the time. This day in June, she stopped off at Vicksburg on her way from New Orleans to Pittsburgh, loaded with cotton and molasses. She was towing a string of loaded barges, as was the custom of many of the river boats. She completed her business at Vicksburg, unloaded her passengers and took on more for the trip upriver. Then she pulled away from the dock. Her barges swung out behind her as her great twin stacks belched smoke and sparks and she headed north around the bend in the river - into oblivion. What happened around that bend will never be known, for the 'Iron Mountain' completely vanished - passengers, crew, cargo, and all. All that remained was the string of barges. The first sign of anything unusual was when another streamer, the 'Iroquois Chief', had to swing out of the way of a string of drifting barges coming downstream from around the bend in the great river. She turned and caught the barges and finally brought them to a halt. She expected another steamer to come and claim them - but none did. Later examination showed that the tow cable had been cut, not broken - an action usually taken in an emergency to save a steamer at the expense of losing the barges. These were the barges that had been behind the 'Iron Mountain'. But what happened to her? There was not the slightest sign of debris, either from the huge ship itself, its deck-piled cargo, its many passengers and crew. There was no sound or smoke from a vast explosion or fire, no floating bodies or wreckage. If she had suddenly sunk, some debris, bodies, or cargo would surely have come to the surface. The great ship, its cargo and 55 persons aboard her had utterly vanished from the face of the earth. To this day no one knows how, why, or where she went."

What? Me Eat Poop!!??

It's just a Tootsie-Roll, I swear!

For more "poop" on Riley (my fourfooted canine brother), go to Wednesday's Child (my mom).

Happy Easter!

Mom's tulip.

Waaayy up close!

Easter sprinkles K-scoped.

Hope the Easter bunny was good to you too!

Thanks for the White-Trash Ham and sprouts and taters, Mom!

CataFunkaDelic

I became the twinkle in Hobbes' eye!

Doodle stuck her tongue out at Moomin.

Hobbes gave Doodle a companionable sniff.

Moomin was maxin' and relaxin'.

I finally managed to decently K-scope one of the cats. Figures it'd be non-contrast Doodle.

Thriller Thursday4

This week's thrilling episode is gonna be kinda weak. Sorry. I usually think ahead, but I forgot to this time around so all I have to offer you is a rather strange high school experience.

I had a friend in high school who was very interested in the "supernatural and occult". Her family frowned on this as she came from a Middle Eastern background so she was alternately an extreme skeptic or a gullible believer.

She'd been hearing about Oujia boards from some of her other American friends and mentioned the subject to me one day. I told her all about me and my brother trying a Oujia board out when we found one in my grandparents attic when we were younger. She asked if we'd gotten it to "work". I told her despite accusing each other of pushing the planchette and emphatic denials from both of us, it appeared to. (Unless you've actually used a Oujia board, I really can't explain the sensation of touching something so lightly that you KNOW you couldn't be moving it but it does. And when you use it alone, that sensation is twofold.) She asked me if I had the board. I said no.

Well, from that day on she pestered me constantly, peppering me with questions, and trying to figure out where to get ahold of a board. I didn't have much to tell her other than the little urban legend/rumor mill gossip that junior high students used to scare each other at sleep overs before I moved to where I met her in high school. I tried to side track her with "Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board" but she wouldn't give up (which by the way, my jr high friends were able to lift me about a foot off the floor before my mom came to check on us!).

I finally asked her what she wanted me to do. She said "Could we make one?" After thinking about it, I figured why not? It's just a board with the alphabet, numbers, yes/no/maybe, hello/goodbye, and a sun and moon. So we made one and used a smooth lid for the planchette.

She asked me and my brother to show her how to use it. Of course it worked great with us. Of course we got mostly nonsense. Of course she was very impressed.

Then she tried with one of us and it wouldn't move. She tried with the other, it still wouldn't move. Then she got frustrated and irritated and had me and bro try it again and it worked great. After several days, it finally worked with her on it. Always nonsense.

I was getting bored with just getting nonsense when we used it together, so I wondered what would happen if I tried it by myself. It worked beautifully with no more nonsense or gibberish, actual conversations. I thought I was either talking with my subconscious or with some earthbound spirit. Knowing what I know now, my money's on a low level spirit with not so good intentions.

The climax came when I brought the jerry-rigged board to one of my babysitting jobs to pass the time til the parents came home. Living where we did, we only had access to one TV channel and there was not much to watch and you can only read so much before you get sleepy. So after the kiddo had been fed, bathed, put to bed, and asleep, I got the board out and started "talking".

After awhile, the planchette gave up talking and started making fast figure 8's, repeatedly. I asked what was going on. It paused the figure 8ing and said "gathering energy", back to the 8's. I asked energy for what and noticed my hand was getting VERY warm. "Energy to appear" was the answer and back to the 8's.

Well, I sat there stunned for a moment watching my hand making these figure 8's.

Finally I "woke up", said our "goodbye" directive (to end the sessions and not have repercussions). It wouldn't say goodbye. I tried again. Still no goodbye.

I tried about 6 times, getting more and more panicky as the figure 8's continued even faster and remembering some dimly remembered rumor that you HAD to get the board to say goodbye or something terrible would happen to you if you just stopped.

The seventh time I said the "goodbye" directive, the planchette got really close to the goodbye on the board and I helped it along and called it quits.

Needless to say, no sleepy time for the rest of that babysitting job and the rest of the night at home. At school the next day, the friend wanted to Oujia at school. I told her what happened and that I was done. She was very disappointed but I was not going to continue after that figure 8 thing.

I know, you're all thinking, "didn't you ever see Witchboard?". No, not until I got to college. And when I told my friend J about this, she told me I was very lucky and shared a Oujia board experience of her own.

She was at a bonfire with a bunch of her high school friends. Someone had brought a board and they were all taking turns messing around on it. When they tried to get her to go on it, she refused and the board spelled out some scary shit. J got upset and someone threw the board into the bonfire. J said that board shot straight up into the air as high as a 2-story house and came down without a single singe mark on it.

I don't mess with Oujia boards.

My Super Powers are Morphing!

Apparently my time-keeper killing capabilities have morphed into computer accessories assassination.

Yes, that is what I said. Not only can I stop a watch cold dead if you give me a brand new battery and a couple months or have the digital clocks in my house speed up or slow down depending on whichever mood I happen to be in for a long time, but now I can stop a mouse cold dead.

Unfortunately, I'm not yet in control of this particular developing super power. It's mostly random right now, but the tech guy at work thinks this may be the root of my mouse issue.

See, I will be working away, print something, get up to go get it, come back and Dead Mouse. Or after I talk on the phone to a client for awhile, Dead Mouse. No cursor movement whatsoever no matter what I do other than CtrlAltDelete, log off, and unplug the damn computer's brain. When I plug back in and the computer comes back on, I Got Mouse.

He thinks I may have one of those supercharged electromagnetic body systems and when I come back, unbeknownst (here's the not in control part of the super power) to me I am giving my mouse a shock as soon as I touch it which kills it.

His game plan...

Whenever I leave my desk and come back or finish talking on the phone, I must touch the metal part of my desk before touching any computer accessory. He will be calling beginning of next week to see if this helps. If not, they do make mini lightening rods that come attached to the wrist pads or mouse pads.

This of course has caused much merriment amongst my co-workers.

One had to come inform me that I "was being let go because my electromagnetic issues can no longer be accomodated due to the increased computer work load." HahHah.

My boss had to come tell me that I was the most high maintenance employee she's ever had. I pointed out after the mutual guffaw that I still had the original chair I started with 5 Septembers ago with nothing fancy attached to it in addition to her old desk and haven't yet requested a new one, and was it my fault I had to deal with my old computer brain's repeated Blue Screen of Death issues?

Another co-worker came in and kindly put a Post-It note saying "Touch here" on one of my metal drawers. Then we joked that trying to develop the habit of touching my desk everytime I sat down was going to trigger an OCD landslide and I would start touching all things metal on my way to and from the printer in the next office.

I wonder what comes next super power-wise - causing street lights to flicker and then go out? That'd be a good way to win a bet or a beverage!

My Teacher Says...

I should put my kaleidoscope pictures in a show. He told me that he Googled K-scope pics after last week's class where I shared a few. He said

"Your pictures are far better than what I saw."

Whoowhee! Gets my self-esteem all in a flutter! And this from a professional photographer with a career. Who knew me, a bitty little camera, and cheap kid's toy could make "Andy Warhol-like" arty pictures? I certainly didn't expect that kind of reaction.

So here are some recent samples with some kitter-cats thrown in.

I know the eyes are creepy but the class said that's what makes them work. And yes, that's my eye!

I'm the maverick of the class with my simple pointNshoot and chance-taking coz I don't know the rules and I'm constantly trying to get beyond run-of-the-mill expected pictures.

But I do need to work more on my composition, cropping, and point-of-view.

Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives

Is it wrong that every time I catch this show on TV that I want to just chuck my job and open my own Dive?

I swear, all that food, all that home cookin', all that fried deliciousness and greasy goodness, all those "just duct tape them to my thighs" desserts, makes me wanna just cook a crowd happy or at the very least put them into a coma.

My menu would feature Spaghetti Bread, chili, split pea soup, C-cubed dip and chips (creamchzchili), pasta of all simple filling sorts, my pepper/sausage eggrolls, steamed Raviolis with crunchy outsides and veggie dip, grilled chz, chicken salad wraps, sweet potato fries, extra crispy chicken bites, fried chz and fried veggies like you get at the local fair, Mom's pot roast and corned beef and stuffed cabbage, Party Pretzels, shakes that are so thick you could use them for spackle, plate sized cookies, brownie sundaes, and that's the tip of the iceberg. Mostly there'd be some regular stuff and the others would be whenever! Of course this is all just a pipe dream, me blowing sunshine up my overalls, daydreams are no-mess fun!

Not to mention I want to EAT, damn show makes me hungry even when I'm not hungry.

Also, I think I might have a "thing" for Guy. Call me crazy, must be the fry fumes going to my head, but he's tweakin' me a bit. Maybe it's his pure unabashed joyousness with food. Either that or his bleached fockily* hair. Whatever, I want to hit the road with him in a souped up vintage car and travel the country eating! Late night munchies and cravin's or what?

*Fockily is an inside joke, TJ uses this word to describe his own bedhead. It's an approximation of a word grown-ups use, but for the life of me I don't remember what it stands for. It's just a helluva lot of fun to say. Rhymes with broccoli.

Thriller Thursday3

My friend J has been my closest friend ever since I moved here in '91. We've worked, lived, laughed, and cried together. Just after I moved into my home, J rented a house for her and her family (1 bio daughter, 2 adopted kiddos, cat, dog). I think I only visited it once or twice, mostly I visited her at her daycare business or out and about town. Today's thrilling episode is hers.

The second night after moving in, J said her youngest screamed in the night. She thought he was having nightmares and he complained he was seeing a monster in his bedroom. He'd NEVER talked about monsters until moving into this house.

J said that ever since that second night, S wouldn't go in his room for anything. He would play in his sister's room or outside his room in the hallway. She had a terrible time getting him to bed and eventually he flat out refused to sleep in his room.

When she asked him what he was seeing, S told her the monster looked like a person with blood coming from their eyes, ears, nose, and mouth.

J said that she was never really all that comfortable in the house, like a general bad vibe, but she did not connect it to anything specific. She said the lights would occasionally flicker on and off and they would hear loud bangs and thumps in parts of the house where they weren't. When they'd investigate, nothing was disturbed. The family members each felt like they were being watched when no one (real) was watching them and the dog would startle for no reason and bark at nothing.

J said they had only lived there about 2 and a half months when a fire that happened late at night destroyed part of the house and smoke and water damaged almost all of their belongings. Everyone, including the pets, were able to get out with no injuries.

After the fire, one of J's employees/bio daughter's friends asked J if she knew the history of the place she'd been living in. J said no and the friend said a couple years before J rented it, a teenager lived there with his family. The teenager shot and killed himself in S's bedroom.

Now J and her family had no idea this had occurred until after the fire when the friend told them.

Weirdness factors...

1) S saw a monster specifically in his room and nowhere else.

2) The monster resembled someone with gunshot wounds to the head (a concept he was too young to even know about).

3) J had a uncomfortable feeling the whole time she lived there.

4) J firmly believes the fire had something to do with the history of/influence in the house although the fireman theory is the dog may have knocked over a candle and lit a blanket or curtain on fire.

Now is that thrilling or what? Traumatic for the boy tho.

Cat Spat

Moomin: "You sniffed my butt!"

Doodle: "You put your butt in my face!"

M: "I did not!"

D: "You did too!"
M: "Did not!"

D: "Did too!"

M: "Not!"

D: "Too!"

Swat bite chomp break a dish...

And so goes another pre-dinner smack-down.
I'm running out of dishes.

Ya Just Never Stop Learning New Stuff

I learned two new things today. Two VERY useful new things. What were they? Well, I'll tell ya...

1) Rewipe: This usually happens when you take a really large crap, clean up as well as you can, but several hours later due to some minor irritation, you gotta do a "rewipe" to get what ya missed. Co-worker 1 shared a story of one of his college friends to illustrate the logistics of "rewipe" because I was clueless and had to ask. I also spent about 5 minutes laughing helplessly.

2) My other co-worker who was partaking in the above conversation informed me that there is a such thing as "camp butt" when I told her I spent all day Sunday in my PJs. I, of course, had to ask and she said "camp butt" happens when you are camping out and you miss a shower for one or two days. Again with the laughing.

Co-worker 1 asked Co-worker 2 if "rewiping" would alleviate "camp butt"? She said nothin' but a shower alleviates "camp butt". I would agree.

I wonder what I'm gonna learn tomorrow!

I'm the Twinkle in His Eye

Oh yes indeedy I am. Especially around feeding time!

Wishful Spring Thinking

March came in like a lion, here's to it leaving like a lamb, albeit a very muddy floody lamb.

This is a little creature's snow tunnel. To where? I have no idea.

Riley's the only one hoping it will stay snowy!

Go Dog Go!

Thriller Thursday2

Here's the promised orb pictures. I was deconstructing and reconstructing the kitchen many moons ago and these are the only two pics that came out with orbs. If it was dust or on the camera, these marks would be in every picture on the roll because there was lots of stuff aflyin' in the air. Sorry for the poor quality, but the actual pics themselves are pretty poor.

This is the wall with the studs exposed and various wiring. Orb is the circle in the upper middle. Off to the left of the circle is a light wire box.

The orb is next to an exposed pipe in the corner by the window. The other white dottish thing at the bottom is a paper towel my dad stuck in the sink pipe.

Some fun huh? Til next Thriller Thursday when I share a rather gruesome story.

Project Runway in Nutshell #13

I have to confess.

I totally did not watch the beginning of the show. I joined things 20 minutes in.

I was wrapped up with organizing photos for my photo class.

Basically the pre-runway moments I remember:

1) Jillian's angst about her lack of cohesion with her model picks and she kept trying to smooth down the ginormous poodle that took up residence on her tiny little head.

2) Jillian the Meatless Wonder in the totally Gay Sandwich made with Honey Wheat slices of Tim and Rami and a fierce helping of a spicy Christian condiment.

3) Christian's ozone-depleting moment while getting his models ready.

On with the show...

First: Jillian's perky butt-swingin' bottoms with their whiff of bustles, abbreviated petticoats, and pantaloons and an overemphasis on coats/jackets and breast armor for the tops. No evening gowns but a pair of evening pants.

Second: Rami with his dowager color choices, edited draping, and woven potholder detailing. His last two evening gowns were pretty, especially the black one (the one he used to auf Chris). I didn't like the first one of the three - the golden drapey one made the model look like she had a golden tumor sticking out of one hip.

Third: Christian with his monochromatic Praying Mantis models overwhelmed by ruffs, puffs, muffs, and hats. I loved the last two evening gowns tho. Some gorgeous!

Victoria Beckham was the guest judge. None of this "y" nonsense for her!

Judging: Both Jillian and Rami had pat pre-prepared runneth off the tongue answers to what their inspirations were. Poor Christian, he turned speechless for the first time evah as His Fierceness crumbled! Jillian was praised for her knitwear, Rami was praised for his potholders, and Christian was praised for his chic drama. All were equally praised for their effort, work, construction, and creativity - and rightly so. Nothing less then flawless came down the runway (well except for Rami's golden tumor dress). Victoria told Christian he made her smile and she doesn't smile for just anyone or anything (might give her wrinkles which would so NOT match her pneumatic gravity defying boobies and constantly shimmering cleavage).

Judges chitchat: Jillian was judged to be point-of-view challenged. Rami was judged to be colorifically challenged. And Christian was judged to be Puffin'Stuffin'ly challenged, but Victoria said his entire collection was completely to her taste.

Jillian - third runner up.

Rami - second place.

Christian - Winner! And he cried, genuinely and profusely. Nice to know there is a humble marshmellow under that tiny rhino hide. And we got to see his family, proof he isn't Thumbelina's long lost son! Although I'm betting he might still end up being a changeling. Christian walked off telling Victoria "we'll be in touch" (she'd generously told him she'd wear any of his designs) after he hugged all and sundry on the runway.

My Poor ElderCat

Hobbes has this funny tweak about him.

Right, I know he's a cat, cats are supposed to have odd and strange behavior, but this is different.

I have yet to meet another cat that this happens to.

What happens is, whenever Hobbes hears tapping noises, he gags. The more the tapping is repeated, the more emphatic the retching. But the tapping has to have a sharp metallic tone to it, like a key tapping on a pipe, a florist wire tapping a table, the film forward button on manual disposable cameras, safety pins clinking in a glass jar, silverware hitting a plate, you get the picture. It doesn't have to be metal objects being tapped, but the tap has to have that sharp metallic quality to it. It's quite the party trick if he'd ever come out for company and if it didn't make him so uncomfortable.

I've puzzled many a cat specialist and vet with this question and when I show them (and I apologize profusely to Hobbes when I do this to him because he is so thoroughly unhappy, who wouldn't be, getting all nauseous and gaggy), they are just amazed. I read an article somewhere a while ago that stated there are some sounds that can induce nausea in humans, something about the inner ear and I'm thinking Hobbes has whatever this issue is.

I try to keep the tapping to a minimum and sometimes he lets me know when I'm making a tapping sound that has a definite yarf factor.

Tonight, the Universe is making Hobbes miserable. I was finishing up watching Scariest Places on Earth, when I noticed Hobbes gag. At first I thought it was because he'd just finished excessively grooming his claws and got a sheath stuck somewhere in his mouth and was trying to get rid of it. When I looked closer, there was nothing in his mouth or around him. I slowly realized the storm we are having right now has changed from rain to icey pellets which are repeatedly hitting the windows making a lovely metallic tapping noise non-stop.

Thus resulting in Hobbes' sour puss face and retching.

Here's hoping the wind is only blowing one way, so he has at least one room in the house for refuge.

Off to Class

Well, I have enough "class"...

I'm just going to my photography 101 class soon. Killing time until I need to hop in the car and go. One of my co-workers took this course last year and recommended it to me. So here's to me going way outside my comfort zone and doing something without a friend along for about 8 Tuesdays in a row. Actually, I'm looking forward to honing my haphazard skill with the camera.

I am not looking forward to the drive and coming home late. But there's no TV shows I watch tonight so I'm not missing anything. And books will wait patiently for me. At least the felines are fed so I won't have to worry about random destruction to express disatisfaction with overdue services in the form of cat yarf, drapes down, and rugs amok.

Here's a photo from yesterday...

The Sun's Footprints