Okay, I know I am a person who doesn’t have children so I haven’t had that “life changing” experience and “I don’t know how hard it is to be a parent in today’s world”.
True, but my background, training, experience, and “career” all involves working with children. True, I don’t go home from work to a “family and kids”, but I have worked and do work with them while the parents are at work.
And interacting with kiddos with Autism is a lot like “Super Nanny” boot camp only far more stringent.
Things I’ve learned:
Consistency is key. If you tell a child the consequence for their behavior, then you better be able to deliver that consequence no matter how ridiculous it is. And you’d better follow thru with it until it is complete. This teaches them that you mean what you say and they can trust the fact that you will follow thru with your words no matter what.
Say it once. If they don’t do it, then physically guide/prompt them to do it. Your words and voice are valuable tools and shouldn’t be over-used until you sound like the adults in Charlie Brown cartoons. This teaches them to LISTEN to you the first time and not keep plugging away to see when they’ll eventually get their way.
Offer choices, two of them. The choices may not be the things the children necessarily want to do, but they will learn to evaluate the choices in order to determine the least desirable choice and avoid it. This technique also gives children some “power” but it’s adult-directed power.
Immediacy is key as well. If the child is doing something inappropriate, stop the behavior immediately. The longer they engage in that behavior, the longer it will take them to “unlearn” it. If this means leaving the store before you’ve finished grocery shopping, so be it even if it’s a major inconvenience. Go later sans child or have the significant other do it on their way home.
Being proactive is a major component. If you know certain things or situations trigger a meltdown or inappropriate behaviors, tweak the environment to remove the triggers and the behaviors won’t occur or just don’t go there. Out of sight out of mind. Also, don’t offer what you can’t give or don’t have.
True, but my background, training, experience, and “career” all involves working with children. True, I don’t go home from work to a “family and kids”, but I have worked and do work with them while the parents are at work.
And interacting with kiddos with Autism is a lot like “Super Nanny” boot camp only far more stringent.
Things I’ve learned:
Consistency is key. If you tell a child the consequence for their behavior, then you better be able to deliver that consequence no matter how ridiculous it is. And you’d better follow thru with it until it is complete. This teaches them that you mean what you say and they can trust the fact that you will follow thru with your words no matter what.
Say it once. If they don’t do it, then physically guide/prompt them to do it. Your words and voice are valuable tools and shouldn’t be over-used until you sound like the adults in Charlie Brown cartoons. This teaches them to LISTEN to you the first time and not keep plugging away to see when they’ll eventually get their way.
Offer choices, two of them. The choices may not be the things the children necessarily want to do, but they will learn to evaluate the choices in order to determine the least desirable choice and avoid it. This technique also gives children some “power” but it’s adult-directed power.
Immediacy is key as well. If the child is doing something inappropriate, stop the behavior immediately. The longer they engage in that behavior, the longer it will take them to “unlearn” it. If this means leaving the store before you’ve finished grocery shopping, so be it even if it’s a major inconvenience. Go later sans child or have the significant other do it on their way home.
Being proactive is a major component. If you know certain things or situations trigger a meltdown or inappropriate behaviors, tweak the environment to remove the triggers and the behaviors won’t occur or just don’t go there. Out of sight out of mind. Also, don’t offer what you can’t give or don’t have.
Tell them what you want them to do. If you keep saying "don't, stop, no, etc" then you are not letting them know what it is you want to them to do or how to behave or what your expectations are. Don't phrase directions as questions, then the child thinks they have a choice and they'll choose not to.
These are all things I’ve done with children with Autism (and believe me, typical children have nothing on their meltdowns, tantrums, aggressions, and extreme behavior) and these techniques work.
I’ve even taught my cats to sit when I say “sit”. And cats are like autistic children only with four feet, fur, and tails. They perseverate, have communication and social deficits, and repetitive limited interests.
Can you tell I'm training a bunch of people tomorrow on this very topic?
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