Schmaltz Schmaltz Schmaltz
Blah blah blah
I'm gonna just give the highlights that got stuck in my viewing filter.
Rami and Chris. Wow. That was some "body english" on Rami's part. Sitting real up close and personal to Chris, inclining his head towards Chris, legs crossed towards Chris, arm behind Chris, touching Chris. If I didn't know better, I'd think there was a little sumpin' sumpin' goin' on between them. But I'm sure Rami respects Chris and they're just friends. Right?
I can't compete with Heidi's verbal smackdown of Victorya...
Heidi: "Victorya is always a bit uptight, no? Or is it just me?"
Tim: "No, it's not you."
Victorya: close up of her trademark "just-ate-a-big-ass-lemon-resulting-in-sphincter-lips" look.
And the editors treated us to plenty of those sprinkled thru out the show. Seriously, wonder what crawled up her butt to make her such a sour puss?
Kevin's sexuality was put under the microscope while he continued to swear he's impervious to the gay germ. Like it's catching... then he admits he might have been gay in a past life. Either that or I think he was a woman and is now being punished by coming back as a man that feeleth compelled to protesteth too mucheth.
Everyone got a chance to be warped to Elise's Planet of Good Vibrations, Positivity, and Blessings.
Next on the Reunion Tour was Ricky's Waterworks and Nonexistent Dam which Rami said were just beautiful. Hey, let's just fly Ricky over the worst drought areas to seed the dry-as-a-bone clouds. I said seed. dry. bone.
(My inadvertent innuendos are just out of control!)
Montage of Chris' laughter. At one point it looked like he was going to hawk up a hairball.
(God, it just keeps getting worse!)
Michael Kors with his steam kettle laugh. And I thought Chris had the monopoly on giggle fits and belly laughs. Viewers got to watch Michael practically pee his pants he was non-stop laughing so hard during the SpandexO'Rama Challenge. And he infected everyone else. Heidi had to fan herself she got so warm.
We got to see what the designers thought their wrestling diva names were.
We already knew Sweet P was "Spread Eagle", Christian was "Feriousa Coutura", and Chris was "Wonder Woman". But we found out that Jillian thought she was "Tuffie", Ricky was the "Mexican Jumping Bean", and Rami was... oh I forget, something to do with the damn drape tho! Tim thought he would be "Polly Syllabillicus". Nina told everyone she's been called "Meana Garzilla". And while Michael Kors did not share what his wrestling name would be, he did share that he wore diaper pants and shawls. OMG, the mental picture that has been seared in my mind!
I was sad they didn't include the "pooing fabric" comment to the review of Heidi's Greatest Hits.
Carmen got all emotional because she was "talked about" for her shirtless wonder fiasco. Then she got a chance to get all emotional once again when Heidi brought it up under the Worst Design Ever segment. Seriously. You send out crap, expect to be crapped on.
Christian was voted Fan Favorite "by a landslide".
Christian: "Really? That's crazy. I'm so poor."
And in honor of his winning, Viewers are treated to a "fierce" montage with flawless hair moments - "Party over here, business over there, and this is the money maker." I thought the winner might have been Elise, you know she does need to soup up her space ship.
I didn't even bother to watch the predictions. My stomach has already been giving me probs all week and I don't need to irritate an already touchy gag reflex.
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