As I promised, here is the post about flicking auras. Bear with me, I will get to it…
In my extremely late teens and early twenties, I did not drive. And I did not have a car. Why? Because I did not know how to drive. I had a permit, actually several permits, after I graduated from college, but I never followed through and actually took the time to learn the rudiments of physically driving a car. I had the written part down pat, but something, I think it was mostly my deviant mind, held me back from taking the final step. It didn’t help that I did not have the “typical American High School experience” where learning to drive and having friends who were already driving was a big thing. I was in Germany for my entire high school experience and Germans are not allowed to drive until they are 17 or 18 and they take a 3 month course. So it wouldn’t have mattered anyway as I graduated when I was 17 and spoke just barely functional German (you know, “where’s the bathroom, speak slowly, how much is this, and I don’t understand”). Once back in the good Ole USofA, I jumped straight into college in rural Ohio where there was always someone going my way or where I wanted to go was within walking/biking distance. Then over the summers, I worked at an all-summer GirlScout camp – no driving there! Once college was over, I followed my parents when they moved to Maine. Again, someone was always going my way and I found a job that was within biking distance (God was I fit in those days). It was nice not having to be the designated driver EVER! But the tarnished side of that coin was I had to be careful of who was driving.
I practiced some with my father, but didn’t practice long or seriously until my brother moved out to California and left the car my parents had been letting him use. I had my bestest friend, J, help me out a bit, Dad helped me over-practice parallel parking (I hit the broom pedestrian in the cone quite a few times), and I went to take the test. I was 23 years old.
J took me to the driving test. There was a young girl in front of me. We watched her out the window go through all the preliminaries (lights, washers, horn, directionals, etc) and then drive slowly to the parallel parking part. J told me that they do the parallel parking first because if you can’t do it, it saves time. Holding my paperwork in my sweaty hand, I watched the girl start parking. BUMP, she hit the back car, BUMP, she hit the front car, DONE, she drove back to the parking space she’d just left and came in the building in tears. I’m in a state of utter panic at this point. J is trying her best to calm me down. My turn… preliminaries and then… a perfect parallel parking job! I had my Dad’s voice in my head the whole time telling me how far to go up next to the front car (middle of window), when to wrench the car in, and to pull forward. I do not really remember the rest of the test, just the hill emergency brake part. J told me later she had been jumping up and down and “Woohooing” like a crazy person when she saw I’d passed the parallel part. So, I got my license (good luck) and drove in a snow storm the next night (humbling event). Talk about Murphy’s Law…
So, as a preschool teacher with a new license, being an new driver and all, and living in a small town where I would be known to most of the population due to teaching their kids or teaching their friends’ kids, I wasn’t in any position or had any right to have road rage. But now having hit my mid-thirties, I am no longer a newbie behind the steering wheel and I have a car that I become one with when I sit in it, so I am entitled to a little justified road rage now and then. And I continued/continue to have a job that involves working with children, sometimes transporting them. I couldn’t and can’t flip anyone off. It wasn’t/isn’t professional and I might offend an important person, not to mention tarnish my community role model reputation... Hah! So I had to think of another way to deal with my road rage. Reading about FengShui gave me an idea. You can use a mirror to send negative energy back to the source (my mother did this and I will have to share this story later). Now, you can also hit the person who is irritating you to cause them pain. My busy brain put the two together and came up with giving people’s auras a flick. I decided on a flick and not a slap because it is small enough to (hopefully) cause a little Kharmic bitchpinch to happen, but not big enough to kill them or cause permanent damage – that would boomerang back on me in a huge Kharmic bitchpunch. So now when someone irritates the crap out of me: in a minimal way=one aura flick, in a moderate way=two aura flicks, and in a major way=three and up. I find it highly satisfying. My road rage goes away quickly knowing that at some point during the irritant’s day they are a) going to spill their drink at an inconvenient time or place, b) they are going to get something not so nice in the mail, c) their computer will crash, d) their cell phone will drop an important call and not work for most of the day, e) their pet will destroy something or yarf/poop somewhere unpleasant and difficult to clean, and f) you get the picture. So nice and road rage is gone.
On the flip side, if I see people braking for animals, letting someone through, letting me through, driving with a brain, or just generally being super, I wiggle my fingers and send those people blessings so they will have one kick-ass awesome day.
So folks, be careful, you may get flicked if you aren’t a good doobie!
In my extremely late teens and early twenties, I did not drive. And I did not have a car. Why? Because I did not know how to drive. I had a permit, actually several permits, after I graduated from college, but I never followed through and actually took the time to learn the rudiments of physically driving a car. I had the written part down pat, but something, I think it was mostly my deviant mind, held me back from taking the final step. It didn’t help that I did not have the “typical American High School experience” where learning to drive and having friends who were already driving was a big thing. I was in Germany for my entire high school experience and Germans are not allowed to drive until they are 17 or 18 and they take a 3 month course. So it wouldn’t have mattered anyway as I graduated when I was 17 and spoke just barely functional German (you know, “where’s the bathroom, speak slowly, how much is this, and I don’t understand”). Once back in the good Ole USofA, I jumped straight into college in rural Ohio where there was always someone going my way or where I wanted to go was within walking/biking distance. Then over the summers, I worked at an all-summer GirlScout camp – no driving there! Once college was over, I followed my parents when they moved to Maine. Again, someone was always going my way and I found a job that was within biking distance (God was I fit in those days). It was nice not having to be the designated driver EVER! But the tarnished side of that coin was I had to be careful of who was driving.
I practiced some with my father, but didn’t practice long or seriously until my brother moved out to California and left the car my parents had been letting him use. I had my bestest friend, J, help me out a bit, Dad helped me over-practice parallel parking (I hit the broom pedestrian in the cone quite a few times), and I went to take the test. I was 23 years old.
J took me to the driving test. There was a young girl in front of me. We watched her out the window go through all the preliminaries (lights, washers, horn, directionals, etc) and then drive slowly to the parallel parking part. J told me that they do the parallel parking first because if you can’t do it, it saves time. Holding my paperwork in my sweaty hand, I watched the girl start parking. BUMP, she hit the back car, BUMP, she hit the front car, DONE, she drove back to the parking space she’d just left and came in the building in tears. I’m in a state of utter panic at this point. J is trying her best to calm me down. My turn… preliminaries and then… a perfect parallel parking job! I had my Dad’s voice in my head the whole time telling me how far to go up next to the front car (middle of window), when to wrench the car in, and to pull forward. I do not really remember the rest of the test, just the hill emergency brake part. J told me later she had been jumping up and down and “Woohooing” like a crazy person when she saw I’d passed the parallel part. So, I got my license (good luck) and drove in a snow storm the next night (humbling event). Talk about Murphy’s Law…
So, as a preschool teacher with a new license, being an new driver and all, and living in a small town where I would be known to most of the population due to teaching their kids or teaching their friends’ kids, I wasn’t in any position or had any right to have road rage. But now having hit my mid-thirties, I am no longer a newbie behind the steering wheel and I have a car that I become one with when I sit in it, so I am entitled to a little justified road rage now and then. And I continued/continue to have a job that involves working with children, sometimes transporting them. I couldn’t and can’t flip anyone off. It wasn’t/isn’t professional and I might offend an important person, not to mention tarnish my community role model reputation... Hah! So I had to think of another way to deal with my road rage. Reading about FengShui gave me an idea. You can use a mirror to send negative energy back to the source (my mother did this and I will have to share this story later). Now, you can also hit the person who is irritating you to cause them pain. My busy brain put the two together and came up with giving people’s auras a flick. I decided on a flick and not a slap because it is small enough to (hopefully) cause a little Kharmic bitchpinch to happen, but not big enough to kill them or cause permanent damage – that would boomerang back on me in a huge Kharmic bitchpunch. So now when someone irritates the crap out of me: in a minimal way=one aura flick, in a moderate way=two aura flicks, and in a major way=three and up. I find it highly satisfying. My road rage goes away quickly knowing that at some point during the irritant’s day they are a) going to spill their drink at an inconvenient time or place, b) they are going to get something not so nice in the mail, c) their computer will crash, d) their cell phone will drop an important call and not work for most of the day, e) their pet will destroy something or yarf/poop somewhere unpleasant and difficult to clean, and f) you get the picture. So nice and road rage is gone.
On the flip side, if I see people braking for animals, letting someone through, letting me through, driving with a brain, or just generally being super, I wiggle my fingers and send those people blessings so they will have one kick-ass awesome day.
So folks, be careful, you may get flicked if you aren’t a good doobie!
2 comments:
"bitchpinch"
That cracks me up!
Cell phones don't work in Maine anyway, so I'm thinking the auraflick is misguided on that point.
Loving your blog.
But you didn't tell us "how-to" actually DO the flicking thing !!??
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