Merry Christmas!!

Leisurely morning, I read, cats napped, except for Moomin under the tree. I keep finding ornaments around the house.

Over at my parents' house, we ate lunch, opened presents, talked to my brother on the phone, played SuperScrabble (2x the tiles and spaces, quadruple letter and word scores) for a very long time (Riley couldn't understand why we weren't giving him the tiles as a treat) and had Christmas Burritos (see Wednesday's Child for details on this tradition!) for dinner.

I like this picture of Mom, she's telling a story and I didn't use the flash so her action-hands came out all ghostly!

Dad demostrating "what not to do with your new Christmas tool from your son".

Riley opened his present with a little help. At first he was ambivalent about asking for help coz, I don't know, his crazy humans might take his present and chuck it, but he managed to get it open and enjoy it for the entire afternoon and evening.

It's a good time when you can shove an entire ball in your mouth and gnaw away...

And you gotta make sure not only to keep it close, but you've got to generously coat the entire ball with foamy spit so your owners are less likely to try to take the present back.

Operation Shovel Up After a Shitstorm Complete

So Sunday morning I wake up to this little fella...

I had no idea squirrels braved nor'easters to dig for food. Quite the fur coat and muff he's got going on. I just felt for him, if you click to see bigger you'll see the snow all over his face and between his ears.

This one came in the afternoon as you can tell by the difference in the amount of snow piled up on the feeder. Both of them dug to find the sunflower seeds I'd put out Saturday morning.

Luckily I shoveled the 6+ inches that had fallen late afternoon before the storm turned to rain. So ALL I had to shovel at 10pm was two inches. Snort. Those two inches were heavier than the 6+ inches. One third water, one third snow, one third ice - HEAVY. And stuck to my shovel so on my upswing to get the crap over the waist high piles on either side of my driveway, I ended up going with the shovel coz the immoveable weight took me along for the ride! I can't tell you how many times I almost crashed and froze. I almost gave up quite a few times. Boy am I so glad I didn't - it all turned to ice over night and wasn't going anywhere this morning. I had to chip the end-of-the-driveway-snowplow-came-in-the-middle-of-the-night remains this morning. Bummer.

I'm exhausted. Typing was an unbelievable chore today, as was just sitting.

Operation Candy Making Complete

I created this Christmas tradition about 4 years ago, when I started my current job. I have a bunch of supportive co-workers who have partaken in various culinary experiments of mine. They raved so much about these candies, that I decided to make them every year in lieu of trying to buy individual gifts. This way everyone gets what they want and no one has to secretly envy another. Besides, I like making them and trying new flavors out on them. This year's new flavors are Lemon and Orange-Pineapple. I really wish my hands hadn't been so very messy because I would have liked to have been able to take snaps of the sheer magnitude of candy I had in my kitchen Saturday night. I had trays and trays over every flat surface. I had to use my garage as a refrigerator coz they wouldn't fit inside the house. You'll have to make do with the pic below.

These are the two boxes that I'm thinking of bringing to the office potluck on Friday.

This pic didn't come out so good, not enough light. So here are the flavors and colors of the little flowers by row. The color of the flowers lets people know what flavor they are before they bite into them coz not everyone likes to be surprised. Yes, I made a color coded key out of stamps coz I'm a bit of a neatnik perfectionist and I'd like a key! Just sayin'.

Row 1: Orange flowers = Orange-Pineapple (Wal-Mart o-p cream sandwich cookies)
Row 2: Sprinkles = Peanut Butter (Nutter Butters)
Row 3: Pink = Chocolate Chip (Chips Ahoy)
Row 4: Blue = Oreo (nuff said)
Row 5: Green = Mint (Grasshoppers)
Row 6: White = Pecan Sandies
Row 7: Yellow = Lemon (I think they were Archway brand - sort of resembled Nilla Wafers)

I spent all of Friday night crushing the cookies and mixing them with cream cheese. I COMPLETELY forgot about using my Cuisinart. DUH! Chilled over night.

Then all day Saturday was cut them into cubes, dip them into melted chocolate, let them harden, and divy them up into tins, bags, and boxes. I have 18 people to give to this year.

I brought the co-workers' tins in today. R, newbie (wasn't here last Xmas), bit into one and said,

"NOW I know what people are talking about when they mention your candy in that certain way!" as her eyes glazed over.

Mission accomplished!

Project Runway in Nutshell #5

Sorry, this one's not going to be so funny or full o' wit. Not feeling so ON today, guess I'm feeling the underwhelming effects of tonight's America's Next Top Model finale which sucked some serious ass as the top two and the winner are definitely not Top Model material.

Show started:

Jack was worried as he might have a staph infection.

Sweet P was sad as Chris left behind a void.

Christian was as narcissitic as usual.

Model Swap turned out to be Model Surprise as Heidi introduced new models who were "real" women that have each lost a significant amount of weight.

Challenge: Design an outfit, using the favorite too big clothes the models were wearing as the raw materials, that is suitable for everyday and reflects not only the model's tastes but the designers' styles.

Christian had a hissy fit because he can only design for thin walking "clothes hanger" hot Asian Barbie dolls. Luckily Karma gave him a model who had strong dislikes and basically bitch-slapped him into order personality-wise.

After shots of fast and frantic shopping and some initial fitting, Jack decided he needed to call his doctor as his face wasn't getting any better. Poor Jack, he was starting to look like a Garbage Pail Kid. His doctor told him he needed to come in for treatment and Jack took Tim aside to let him know he needed to leave for medical reasons.

Tim had everyone "gather 'round" and had Jack say his goodbyes. Everyone cried, yes that included Ricky who always has enough extra moisture for a good cry.

Viewers were then treated to Ricky in gold strappy heels. I could SOOO see him as Mr. Slave when he put those shoes and his model's jeans on, all he needed were the chaps!

Tim had everyone "gather 'round again" for a surprise... Chris was brought back to fill in the gap. "Didja miss me?" Giggle giggle giggle. Sweet P and Elisa were ecstatic.

And because he had a late start, Chris got to work through the night. As if that's going to help him. Tim cautioned Chris not to make bad late night decisions. And Tim is speaking from experience as "he's made so many bad decisions at 3 o'clock in the morning." Everyone started snicker-giggling because their minds are in the gutter. Tim called himself "an old fart" when he finally caught on to why everyone was laughing coz Tim doesn't do the gutter.

Many takes and shots of Steve refusing to deal with the wedding dress. "It's too polyester, it's too beaded, it's too fake laced, it's too much material, it's too white, it's too TOO". Suck it up and get over it already!

Runway Day:

Ricky cried again after his model gets hair and make-upped.

Steven was panic-sweating and finally resorted to using glue to put his awful outfit together and getting two other designers to help him. What I don't understand is why he couldn't finish what was basically a simple sack-like black dress in the time allotted?

Plenty of confidence floating around ready to be popped.

Most of the models hammed it up walking down the runway. Is it me or did most of them walk like they were football linebackers?

I liked Ricky's - thought it was flattering around the waist and bosom but then, that's what he's used to designing for. Ditto for Kevin's yellow and black ensemble, her weight loss was definitely shown off to great effect. Rami actually had the top of his outfit fit the model's boobies, most everyone else had loose booby-fitting issues. Why is that they can't deal appropriately with real boobies? Only a small percentage of the entire real woman population have boobies that hold themselves up either on their own or with silicone assistance. Lift and separate has always been the golden rule, or has everyone lost their ever-loving mind and decided below the elbow bend is attractive?

Top Three:

Kevin - judges could tell his model was extremely satisfied with her outfit, walkin' all sassy, but the leggings he needed to be careful with.

Jillian - despite not using the original red material, the judges all thought the dress was sexy and beautiful. I had issues with the "girls" not being lifted up and actually broke out in song - "Do your boobies hang low, do they wobble to and fro, can you tie 'em in a knot, can you tie 'em in a bow. can you throw them over your shoulder like a Continental soldier, do your boobies hang low?"

Christian - judges thought it was very him, hip, young. His model didn't want to take it off.

Bottom Three:

Elisa - judges thought she didn't reflect her client (though her client said she liked it) and it was too chopped up color scheme-wise to be flattering.

Steve - judges thought it was a horrible French Maid Attending a Funeral, at least they didn't spot any pins a la Ricky coz he used glue!

Chris - judges said he was too wrapped up in cliches and costumes (what a surprise).

Winner: Christian who said "I've finally fucking won a challenge!" No false modesty or humble pie for this beeyotch boy.

Auffed: Steven, which we could have seen coming a mile away.

Quick Project Runway First Impression Update

I'm going to be making a popculture reference and if you don't watch SouthPark, you're not gonna get it, but here goes...

Ricky is Mr. Slave!! Pictures don't lie!

I was channel surfing tonight and caught the episode where Mr. Garrison turns into Mrs. Garrison and Mr. Slave wasn't too happy about the equipment change.

Ricky in his hats and black clothes looks JUST like Mr. Slave - well, minus the mustache but I'm sure Ricky has chaps!

Photo courtesy of Comedy Central.

Project Runway in Nutshell #4

Well, well, well...

Carmen fall-out is nothing more than more space in the girls' apartment and a Carmenic beeyotchslap for Ricky as Jack decided to "swap" his model for Ricky's.

Challenge: take three out-dated fashion trends and create a cohesive relevant-for-today collection of 3 outfits.

Each designer picked a trend...

Jack - pleather (a gay man's dream fabric, well, other than satin)

Victorya - underwear as outerwear

Christian - Zoot suit (go figure he'd pick the most structured trend)

Rami - poodle skirt

Kit - fringe

Elisa - cutouts (this is soooo up her alternate alley)

Jillian - overalls (this is soooo inside her comfort zone, she's been wearing nothing but jumpers which proves my first impression of her was right)

Ricky - neon

Kevin - 70's flare

Chris - Joan Crawford shoulders (nothing says costume designer like Joan Crawford - she was as exaggerated as her shoulder pads)

Steven - dancewear (you'd expect him to stay as far away from the baggy sweater as possible as that particular item put him in the bottom two group last challenge)

Sweet P - baggy sweater (for all her complaining about her button being stuck to the bottom of the bag and having to be last, she got the most versatile and easiest one to work with)

Monkey wrench - designers had to divide up into teams of three.

Team Chris consisted of Steven and Sweet Pea

Team Jillian consisted of Rami and Kevin

Team Christian consisted of Kit and Jack

Team Ricky/no, Victorya/no, Ricky/no, Victorya/no, Ricky! Okay fine...

Team Ricktorya consisted of Elisa (interesting power sandwich she's found herself being the filling for)

Team dynamics:

Team Christian was giggle fittin' and fabric fightin'.

Team Jillian had time crunch issues with Kevin taking 2 days to make a pair of shorts and Rami and Jillian agreeing to disagree about leadership - R's take is to breathe down minion's neck and J's take is said minion is an adult and should be able to handle a deadline.

Team Ricktorya squabbled back and forth about who was really the leader of the pack.

Team Chris each went their own directions but tried to keep the camel color as their cohesive thread drawing their designs together. Chris thought it was his opportunity to show he was more than "To Wong Fu, Thanks for Everything, Love Julie Newmarr", which he's really not.

Day Two:

Steven did a really weak impression of Tim, not even close to Santino's which eerily sounded just like Tim. Victorya called herself "not a bossy cow". Frustration reared it's ugly head as Kevin discovered his model's butt was bigger than Jillian's so all his pleating was cancelled out and Team Ricktorya yet again explored the meaning of leadership and engaged in Bodice Wars over Ricky's black outlining of the harlequin pattern.

Runway Day and I think I've overdosed on gayboy lisping.

Kevin, the lone straight man, informed the Viewers he was going to have pull a magic rabbit out of his ass (hah hah) to get his shorts done. And he did to Jillian's relieved satisfaction. Victorya and Ricky went head to head in the Bosom Battle, a smaller skirmish in the Bodice Wars. Victorya prefers a flatter bust and Ricky likes to accentuate the positive. Victorya surrendered (maybe because her model said she was more comfy after Ricky's adjustments than V's).

Winner: Team Jillian - it was a very cohesive look, well finished and fitted if not show stopping, that incorporated all their outdated trends with modern flair in a pseudo-denimy fabric.

Bottom Two Teams: Team Chris and Team Ricktorya - both were told they were not cohesive collections and some team members had less-than-desirable work.

Bottom Two Designers: Chris and Ricky who had to endure scathingly truthful criticism for their really bad designs. Ricky coz his was poorly constructed (yet again) and Chris coz his was a poor choice jacket-wise (looked like couch fabric to me).

Auffed: Chris

Surprise Surprise Ricky no cries (tho he did look like he might have been ready to start during his backstage shot).

Let It Snow, Let It Snow,

Let it snow... so we wake up this morning to our first significant snowfall of winter. I've shoveled twice today and have make the executive decision to not shovel tonight, but wake up early and shovel out as it is supposed to snow overnight.

Moomin's watching the snow fall. He thinks if the snowflakes come close enough to the window, he can catch them.

I always love how the snow transforms my driftwood each time it snows.

Moomin watching from another view point. He's missing the birds who haven't visited at all today.

Doodle could care less about the snow. All she wants is the furnace to go off so she can huddle as close to the hot air register as possible (Hobbes does the same thing, his pics were blurry), besides whining for my lap.

Yesterday Was Quite the Experiment...

My co-worker R had asked me a while ago to help her out on 12/1. She wanted me to kind of supervise her 3yr old son, AJ, while she supervised the moving box and furniture distribution as they moved into their new home. I had a brainwave and asked if J2 and her son TJ (my pseudonephew) could come. R said she'd been hoping I'd suggest that and J2 said she'd come with all sorts of toys as well as the big excavator that TJ has that is the same as AJ's.

I wake up early and get ready, trying to have no expectations on how the day was going to go and it's a good thing. J2 called me while I was waiting for her to tell me that they have not left yet due to her having a migraine from the day before and into yesterday and TJ not sleeping thru the night. I told her if she decided not to come that it'd be fine.

I get to R's new house about 7 minutes early, ate my bagel while the fiercely cold wind rocked my car, and when R arrived, with AJ and cat in tow, I got a tour of the house. After about half and hour, J2 called for directions as she was on her way. R suddenly remembered she left AJ's excavator at the apartment so she called her husband to bring it. The three of us watched the PODS get picked up - what an interesting concept, that inventor must be rolling in dough.

J2 and TJ arrived and after some initial shyness on TJ's part, the boys acted like they've known each other forever. Running down the hallway, playing in the empty closets, jumping on the bean bag and couch, "hallooing" down to R through the woodstove heat register, going pee at the same time (one after the other, like toilet training encouragement), and generally following safety directions from the adults.

R's husband showed up with the excavator and both boys "dug" to China in the living room while the men emptied the U-haul. About 11:30, J2 and I asked if we should take the boys bowling. TJ was very excited, AJ had been while it was in the talking stages but when he realized he was not going in his "momma's car" and she wouldn't be going, he wasn't happy. I had a feeling this would happen, after all, he'd only met me three times prior to this and J2/TJ just this day, and he's not gone anywhere without one of his parents. But kudos to R, she stuck to the plan, put him in his car seat, gave him "Blue Blanket", and kissed him while reassuring him he'd be fine and coming back soon.

AJ cried for a while, TJ would comment to us that he was still crying and then let AJ know "it'll be okay". He stopped crying but let us know he was still not completely in agreement by saying "mommy... daddy... mommy... daddy" at intervals. We got to see someone get pulled over for speeding, the sun was shining, and we were listening to Christmas carols on the radio.

At the bowling alley, he cried getting out of the car, but stopped inside. TJ was the bowling maniac and AJ sat on the chair with his hat, coat, mittens, sneakers, and "Blue Blanket" on. I was finally able to get the bowling shoes on him by giving him a time limit to wear them, but oops I forgot to take them off and he forgot as well. He started out by not looking at anything, then TJ's excitement induced him to watch him bowl, then the alley dimmed the lights and lit the place up with disco ball lights and streams of coordinated lights down the alleys so he watched those. I finally got him interested in how many pins TJ may knock down and when TJ went to the bathroom I asked him if he could pick a bowling ball, what color. He surprised me by picking one out - the fluorescent pink 14 pounder no less. I brought it over and with J2's help, I got him on the alley where we had the ramp set up and had Blue "push" the ball down the ramp. We did this for 3 frames and he finally, last frame, pushed the ball with his own hand.

Mission accomplished!

We left around 1:00 and AJ came up with the plan to get lunch at McD's and "bring it to the new house." We did exactly that! AJ talked the entire way home. TJ was having a hard time accepting that his mom was driving and was not going to hand him his shake and AJ told us that we should offer TJ choices and that TJ needed to make a choice. After listening to AJ, TJ was able to make a choice to have me hand him his shake. Wow. And these boys just met!

At the new house, TJ and AJ discovered the cat was out, so they spent some time searching and chasing her. Then lunchtime, then more racing thru the hallways and jumping on the couches.

Overall, it was a great experiment. Turned out to be a pretty fantabulous day. And when I got home, this was the greeting I got from Mr. Moomie Pants... (see below). He jumped in my arms and draped himself on my shoulders.

Then I opened my Advent calendar. Mom got me this at Target and I had her fill it with ornaments I'd made so I'd be surprised each day with what I get to put on my mini tree.

Yesterday was lollipops. I haven't opened today yet. I just rolled out of bed about an hour and a half ago. Waking up at 3am and discovering you've rubbed your eye into a swollen gelatinous mass is not a good thing. So I stayed in bed to "fix" the mess I'd made. Seems to be fine now.