Tuesday, September 02, 2008

"Get Yerself a Frosty Ball and Pop A Squat"*

It's a good thing I don't have children.

To have kids, I think I'd have to come back as a mother cat so I could bop my kittens on their cute little noses when they get out of line and pick them up by the scruff of their furry little necks with my mouth to haul their furry little hindparts over the proverbial flames. You expect a kitten to have ADHD but then they grow out of it, get given away, develop an inclination for catnip, and end up sleeping A LOT when they're grown.

Downside would be licking their furry little hindparts and runny noses that they've most likely jammed up one of their siblings' butts or their own.

So, no, I prefer to be the mother of no children, thank you very much.

*Direct quote from tonight's episode of WipeOut.