Woodland Optical Ilusions

These were taken over Thanksgiving break. I found them on my ArtShare picture quest. Let me know what you think they look like!

Frankenstein Cyclops screaming at the avenging villagers.

Evard Munsch-like face screaming.

Heart lying on it's side or a just baked acorn squash half (with plenty of butter, maple syrup, and brown sugar!).

Ostrich eye and beak maybe? Or a duck profile?

My nod to Easter Island's statues.

I don't know, it could be so many things, I just like to look at it.

Cookies Galore!

I, the Queen of Multi-Tasking, made my father cookies for his birthday while simultaneously watching Prison Break’s “Fall Finale”, keeping the cats from any and all ingredients, making my own late dinner and eating it, and cleaning up after everything. I also managed to fit in both household products (at Target) and food (at the grocery) shopping trips after work. Bow down before my immense multi-taskingness!!

Here are some pics of the fabulous GingerSnapless and Molasses Cookies I made for my dad. YUM!! My co-workers got to nibble on all the ones that didn’t fit in the container for my dad. I certainly hope my dad likes them; there was much effort on my part. You can find the recipe below the pics. Sorry they are blurry, I had to run interference and my hands were gooky.

GingerSnapless and Molasses Cookies

Sift together:
6 cups of flour
2 Tsp Baking Soda
1 ½ tsp salt
1 ½ tsp cinnamon
¾ tsp cloves (powdered or crushed)
¾ tsp ginger powder

Cream together:
2 ½ cups of sugar
2 ¼ cups shortening
3 eggs

Mix them together and add ¾ cup of molasses.
Work with hands.
Roll 1 inch balls.
Roll balls in sugar.
Put on cookie sheet 2 inches or so apart, they do spread a bit.
350* for 12 minutes, a tad more if you like super-crunchy.

Sorry Dad, Doodle and Moomin managed to lick a few of the done cookies and some of the to-be-cooked cookies. But I am not giving you those, I already ate them!

The Celebrations, Trials, and Tribulations of Being a MommiCat

1) I find that despite repeated crashings into walls and windows with his head, Moomin retains his native intelligence and showed me that he understands “cause and effect”. This is evidenced by his batting a mirrored ball in a sunny window this long weekend. After batting the ball, he chased the moving light dots (I didn’t say he was the sharpest tool in the box, but he’s not the dullest tool either by any means). Once the mirrored ball ran out of turning and swinging power, he ZOOMED up the couch, gave the ball another bat, and proceeded to chase light dots in crazy-man mode. He did this as long as the sun was coming thru at the right angle. Once the dots were gone, he was all done with the game.

2) The trio of furry goodness had turkey goodness for a special treat Thursday night. My mother saves me the “oysters” of the turkey for them. They loved it. Moomin was initially hesitant but once he saw how the others were chowing down, he followed suit.

3) They got two days of sunbeamin’ in and got nice and toasty!

4) I woke up Sunday morning to find that one of my cats (and my money is on Moomin) had dined on 4-5 inches of synthetic yarn that was attached to the rafters and to a toy (the toy was on the floor with a yarn segment missing). So now I’m on “poop’n’butt patrol” to make sure everything comes out okay.

5) I discovered over the long weekend that both my boys also have feline acne. I already knew Doodle did and she has been on the Kitty Stridex regimen for 3 weeks so far. Hobbes has a very bad case and Moomin’s is relatively light. Both Doodle and Hobbes’ chins are a mess. I thought Doodle’s was getting better so Murphy’s Law decided to step in and prove me wrong. I washed 3 kitty chins with Kitty Stridex last night. That was an adventure and a half. Doodle is used to the routine, pissed off, but used to it. I "burritoed" her up in a towel and that helped. She mellowed out some during the drying process when I shook the treat container in front of her (my mom’s idea, worked, thanks Mom!). Hobbes on the other hand, you would have thought I was trying to braid his whiskers, poke needles in his eyes, or jam a horse pill down his throat. I tried to “burrito” him up. That didn’t work too well. We finally compromised on a position that was truly funny. He was facing me pushing me away with his paws and I was holding him by the neck and shoulders, pushing him towards me. It was good for chin cleaning tho. I found he is missing quite a patch of fur on the right side of his chin. Poor baby. Well, the Kitty Stridex regimen has begun for him. I hope it helps. He does love the treat afterwards! I thought Moomin was going to give me a hard time. He was very well behaved and unsure of the treat. But then he decided he liked it enough to want to take Doodle’s place when it was her turn. I had to shoo him away. It’s lucky that he loves water! I hope it keeps going well with him. We’ll see.

An A-HA! Moment

-- Carsickness is caused by confusion in the brain over whether your body is in
motion or at rest. "There are several factors that contribute," says Dr. Karen
Belson, assistant professor of pediatrics at Emory University Medical School in
Atlanta. "If the eyes see that you're moving but the body's pressure receptors
-- like your butt -- tell your central nervous system that you're stationary,
the brain can't process this input." – Excerpt taken from an article on
msn.com

Now it all becomes crystal clear… I get carsick because my brain and my butt are in mortal combat! My butt is interfering my brain’s ability to process. Nice.

I also found out recently that your gut has “a brain” of sorts, a collection of neurons, which is why we experience cravings, avoid certain foods, and have issues.

It’s an inner conspiracy. The organs are revolting, the organs are revolting! Save the cheerleader! Save the bodily universe!

What I Am Thankful For...

I’m thankful both my parents are alive and that I live near enough so I can get a parental infusion of unconditional love, support, and assistance when needed.

I’m thankful my brother hasn’t fallen into the ocean and that we have a great sibling relationship.

I’m thankful my Grampa is doing so well health-wise and has two people who regularly check up on him, do the heavier work he’s not able to do, and spend the holiday day days with him.

I’m thankful for my three furry felines who brighten my days, fill my ears with purring and growling, look forward to my homecoming, and comfort me when I’m sick or feeling down.

I’m thankful for my bevy of friends, who refuse to allow me to sink into hermithood and who provide me with a profusion of loving friendship.

I’m thankful for my home which is full of the things I love. Every time I come home, I feel wrapped up in comfort and safety, surrounded by books, cats, and family and friend mementos (pictures, furniture, gifts, etc).

I’m thankful for my health, things can go out of whack every now and again, but the basic foundation of healthiness is solid.

I’m thankful for having a job that interests me and provides me with a level of security income-wise.

I’m thankful for my car that’s bright red and tooting along just fine.

I’m thankful for my caseload, they provide me the opportunities to stretch my mind and be creative as well as providing me the outlet for being helpful.

I’m thankful for the ability to learn new things. I may resist the effort, but I appreciate the results and added knowledge.

A Triplet of Couplets

I may be physically alone
But my head is holding one hell of a party.


Hindsight is a cursed gift
The human race is blessed with.


I watched you romance the truth
When it had already fucked with me.

Small Poems, Big Ideas

There is emotional dust
Covering the memories of you
No matter how hard I try
I cannot remove the residue


If I cried in front of you
You would get drunk off my tears
Each tear is 100 proof
And everclear


Desiring
Once attained
Changed

Wanted to Share a Blast from the Past

I just wanted to share a picture that reminded me of the superfun times I had with my friend J! We always were up to something. That's her hand by the way! We're playing "Asshole" and I'm it coz I'm wearing the beer hat. Asshole always wears the beer hat, low man on the totem pole of levels in this game. "President" was the highest. If you are wondering what "Asshole" is, it's a drinking card game and for the life of me I can't remember the rules. I seem to recall they were pretty complex for a drinking game, but once we got rolling, it was actually tons of fun. My nose is red because we were on a two-day white water rafting trip. Can you say cold October water? I knew that you could and yes we were crazy. But we wanted the "big release" day and we got it in spades. Raft overturned and everything. My happy ass needed to be hauled in the boat by the back of my sweater because I popped up looking in the opposite direction of the raft (with my sunglasses still on because they were bungee-corded tightly to my face!) and all I kept thinking about was "nose and toes, nose and toes, and hold onto the oar for God's sake". Nose and toes coz you wanted them pointed upwards so nothing got caught in the rocks (you know, for the safety factor) and you had to pay for the damn oar if you lost it. Ah, those were the days. Can't say I miss the danger factor of some of the things we did...

To the Exclamation Point (!!!)

1) BORDERS is open! BORDERS is open!! Books galore! 5 minute ride to get there! Two bookstores in same area! Books! I think I’m going to overdose!

2) New clothes! I got some fabulous clothes at the Eddie Bauer Outlet this weekend! I wanted to use my 20% off coupon but the Outlet doesn’t take it! So I used the 10% off stamped thingie instead!

3) I ate a real 100% red meat hamburger this weekend (well-well done of course)! With a fried egg and bacon and lettuce and cheese and mayo on it! Called the Royal Red Robin! RED meat! No usual after-effects!

4) Got a letter telling me that my “internal” doctor is leaving and I have my choice of two unknown female doctors! Gonna call about that! I hate change! Talked to my mom and she comforted me and gave me a good idea! I love my mom!

5) My dad is now working closer to home! No more scary 1-2 hour drives to work and home in the dark or bad weather conditions! He doesn’t have to spend huge amounts of money on gas anymore! And if we see something at the store and tell him about it, he gets 10% discount! I love my dad!

6) I woke up in the wee small hours of Sunday morning with a killer migraine that felt like the back of my head was going to explode! Took some Aleve! I love Aleve! Because my head still felt “fragile” later Sunday morning, I didn’t go to the beach to take ArtShare pics! BUMMER!

7) So I spent the day in the Chair of Death with three very concerned and warm and fuzzy and loving and purry cats! I napped! I read! I had something for lunch that very much disagreed with me! Fragile head and stomach cramps! What a combo!

8) Woke up Monday morning (today) still feeling head fragile! But got to work anyway! Feeling better! Although I am experiencing some computer rage right at this very moment!

9) 3 day work week!

10) 4 day weekend!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Memo To Cats

Re: Potty Time

Moomin, Doodle, and Hobbes:

As your delightful and bend-over-backwards owner, I understand curiosity is a defining factor of the feline nature. I understand that when I leave a room, you MUST come and seek me out to make sure I am still present and accounted for. I totally get that you love me unconditionally unless I am doing something directly opposed to your wants like taking you to the vet, clipping your claws, or washing your chin with Kitty Stridex using a toothbrush to get to your skin under the fur.

As your owner, I have certain responsibilities outside the realm of providing you breakfast, dinner, and the coveted bedtime snack. I also do more than amuse you with my blonde human antics. I need to “scoop the poop” to keep your unflushable toilet clean and fresh for your use. One: to keep you from using other parts of our home as a urinal and Two: to prevent illnesses that can result from dirty litter boxes.

I make sure I do this at a time when none of you are using the litter boxes. I give you your privacy to make with the evacuations. I expect the same in return.

I’m a girl who values her privacy and I’m feeling like I am back in college with the group bathrooms. Having all three of you roaming in and out of the bathroom when I am otherwise engaged, is not flying with me. Especially trying to get behind the toilet, eating terry cloth strings hanging from my robe which you created by jumping on me after my shower, dumping over the trash to make used Kleenexes into jerry-rigged toys, and attempting to climb the shower curtain.

I don’t hover over you while you are digging to China and I would appreciate if you would leave me the fuck alone when I am trying to do what I need to do.

Having said this, I know in my heart-of-hearts you are going to completely disregard my memo and continue on your merry way of irritating the piss out of me. No pun intended.

Respectfully submitted by:
Your owner who is having her last nerve jumped on.

ArtShare - Out w/ Old, In w/ New

Well, I just visited an elementary school and what I saw there has made me chuck my original ArtShare plans for my 3 people!!

I am going to do what I saw up on their hallway walls!! It's the coolest thing ever and I can totally personalize for each person. Whooo hoo!!!

JJM Handcrafted: you may end up with a few cats too. I made one yesterday and discovered I have to do one a day coz by the second cat I've lost the oomph and it ends up a big mess!

Yippee for ideas!!!

Brain Update

My doctor called me on Saturday. Yes, he called me on the weekend so I knew it wasn't "an all clear" call. He said the doctor that reads the MRI discovered what may be a little abnormal magnetic resonance and they would like me to have a Contrast MRI done to see if it is anything. I liked how my doctor put it. "We're not sure what it is at this time and we're obligated to follow up with it." Let's just hope my insurance company agrees with the proactive approach.

Rainy Grey November Day

It's a grey and dreary day in November today. So was yesterday but I was able to stay in my PJs, read all day, nap with the cats, and had nothing scheduled. The Best. Today is not the best weather-wise, but I am slowly catching up at work. Just one more plan, a gazillion thank-you letters, and some visual picture schedules to make (this involves using a co-workers computer, a color printer, and a laminator - ah, brings out the teacher in me!).

This is a picture of my mom and me. It's a fall day. I thought it fit today's grey theme.

I am still in the planning stages for the ArtShare, but things are starting to gel. I should have started one of them this weekend, but the Laziness Demon had me in it's grip.

ArtShareMeme Mini-Update

JM Handcrafted: Your sister answered for you and you will be receiving the art a la cat project!!!

ArtShareMeme Update

Wednesday's Child (Mama-san): The colors have come together as well as the basic overall theme and the multi-media concept. I'm still working out the logistics of the theme and need to get materials.

JMHandcrafted: Do you like cats? If not then I can certainly adapt the idea above and make one of those. Let me know!

The Edward: I know what technique I will be doing, I just don't know what item to apply it to. I'm going to make you something arty yet functional (I hope).

Still swamped, so no witty repartee from moi!!

That's Not Something You See Everyday!

Yes, folks, I have ventured into the strange world of MRIs.

And I have seen MY BRAIN! Not the actual grey spongey stuff, but a MRI of it.

I got to see that although it appears pretty symmetrical, it’s not really. I have a swirly something or other on the left side just under the middle that isn’t on the right. But the lit up part was on both sides like a one-lobed two-wing butterfly.

I also noticed that my skull is not symmetrical at all. If I shaved my head, I would have a large hillock on the left side right above my ear area and two hillocks with a valley on the right side over my ear area. Not sure why they are there and what happened to create them. I also noticed that my jaw area is VERY unsymmetrical. Nice.

I just can’t get over the fact that I have seen an image of MY BRAIN! Yes, I have had X-rays of my arm (broken in two places), foot (bone spurs), and head (for wisdom teeth removal) in the past. Yes, I had some sort of radioactive body scan (for stress fractures and I never got to see it). But we’re talking MY BRAIN here.

I had to go to this little moveable detachable building attached to the hospital. I wasn’t allowed to take the stairs (not safety regulated) so the MRI person and I rode the honking huge ramp up to the sliding-garage-doorlike door. The whatever-you-want-to-call-it was divided into two sections – the MRI section and the desk/computer/music section. They asked me to remove all metal prior to coming (the questionnaire was truly interesting, I can see a be-pierced person having to list all their piercings on another page, I only had to list my ears) and to bring a CD. Glad I remembered to do both. Those machines are LOUD. I can see why people with issues have a problem with being in there. I just kept my eyes closed, listened to Fleetwood Mac, and tried not to shiver (not much insulation in the little traileresque thingie). I also concentrated on not having my cold fill up my nose and make it impossible to breath. I blew my nose thoroughly before lying down and being wedged in so I didn’t have any stuffiness like I had anticipated.

I’m feeling a bit naked at the moment. I forgot to put my jewelry (earrings, rings, necklace) back on when I stopped at home to grab my lunch on my way to work.

I got to see MY FREAKIN' BRAIN!!

Quick! Some Random Cat P*rn

I caught Moo and Doo together this weekend. Without me! Totally on Doodle's initiative. She was chilly and wanted to snuggle. Moomin loves when she does, well, he does when he's not in "I'm chomping everything in sight" mode!

Hobbes was up wandering around at this point which made Moomin on "are you playing anything I want to join alert" which made Doodle on "neck chewing alert".

Can I Be Any More Swamped?

1) So Halloween is over. All the trick-or-treaters got to meet Moomin. He was very interested in all the people coming, he even tried to sniff them thru the window a few times, and he got lots of compliments (mostly on how "he was a black cat on Halloween"). At one point I had a lull and he fell in the typical kitten coma. I had to lift him off my lap when the next wave came and the girls oohed and ahhed over him coz he's just so damn cute!!

2) I've been in a training for two full days.

3) I am so behind at work that I am doing the escape/avoidance technique of doing everything but what I SHOULD be doing.

4) And I have had 2 people jump aboard the ArtShareMeme. Edward, you can create something! I know you can. So while I am creating something for you, you be all creative and stuff and we'll do a swap. I have faith in your arty abilities! I still need 3 more. This doesn't have to be hard, the "art" can be in any medium that you feel comfy in. And I'm not an art critic so don't worry about what my fluffy head is going to think of it. I'll be thrilled to just get something in the mail from a real live person that isn't a mass mailing or pre-approved credit card.

5) I haven't heard back from the window people to confirm if they received my signed contract.

6) Work Work Work Work. So much backlogged paperwork, so much to print and sign, so much to complete and send out, phone messages to listen to and answer, so much to do and only one day to attempt it in!

I have to go, I really must get started!

What the Ghouls, Goblins, and Ghosties Will Be Getting At My House

My trick-or-treaters are always spoiled by me. I load up the treat bags below with one of each of the candies (keeping my favs in reserve of course). I only filled the mummy and the black cat bags (40 of 'em), saving the green background ones for next year. Trick or Treat!! Happy Halloween.

Halloween Costumes 6.0

Well. The last in the series of costumes. This one I created all on my own. I worked at a daycare and and the year before we all had to dress within a Disney theme (I was Dopey, great hat with big-ass ears attached!). But we rebelled the next year and so we all got to go with our own choice. I bought the red stuff at Joanne's - it's the vinyl table cloth stuff. I made a template for my claws, head, and tail, cut them out and hand sewed it all together. I stuffed the parts so they would be 3-Dish. The tail is safety pinned to my behind (on my red sweatshirt) with HUGE pins. And the back of my head needed a safety pin or two to stay in place. Needless to say, I created quite the stir at the daycare and when we went on our "parade" thru the town streets, I had Japanese tourists snapping pictures of me right and left. So there are random pics of me looking huge, red, and lobstery in Japan. Kind of disturbing on one level, flattering (altho the costume sure ain't) on another. My friends and I went to an official Halloween Party in the neighboring town at the "meat market" we'd typically frequent. I had many looks and comments, but the best one was "I'd like to butter you up and take you home to eat". UGH. I didn't win the contest. Some big boobied genie with see-thru clothes did. Oh well. I was showing off some major red leggage!

ArtShareMeme

(What the heck does "meme" mean anyway?)

I'm joining my mother, Wednesday's Child, for an ArtShareMeme. The first five blogsters who sign up in my comment section will receive an actual piece of "art" from me. I'm not a quilter, but I am artsy! We'll do address info via email. This is a swap, so you'll send me an artsy piece in any medium that you've created in exchange:)

My Be-Pumpkined House

I love to decorate for Halloween. So every year I come up with new decoration configurations of these items. I tried for a night pic, but I'm not up on the technology of the digital camera yet. So daytime dec pics will have to do. I tried to encourage my real Halloween black cat to sit in the window, but he was too busy chewing on Doodle's neck to oblige.

Halloween Costumes 5.0

So me and a few sorority girls decided to raid the college costume department and we found some treasures. It was $7.00 to rent and no time limit to bring them back. If I'd been more larcenous, I would have kept the damn costume, I loved it so much!!!

To Drink or Not to Drink... That is the Question.

Tip for Today

I have noticed my blog loves to make the printed words anywhere near a posted picture disappear and reappear. My advice is to scroll up and down until the text appears in a format you can read. Sometimes you'll get no text or half of the text, just keep scrolling slowly up and down. If you go too fast, it seems to make the blog angry and it will fight with you. It's my template. Sorry. I'd like a new one but I am not a computer wiz but am a Murphy's Law Girl, so me messing with the Computer Universe is not a good idea. I could end up blowing the world up.

Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

Here are my mini-befurred actors and actresses doing what they do best... acting for the small screen!

"I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille!!"

Doodle doing her interpretation of the typical white chick fleeing from a monster. The only thing she didn't do is look back and trip, which only speeds up the getting eaten process.

Moomin doing his vampire imitation and trying to attack the camera.

And finally Hobbes, doing his level best to BE a jack o'lantern. I think he's got being a pumpkin down pat!

Halloween Costumes 4.0

I decided to be a gypsy in middle school. I borrowed a wonderful black knitted or crocheted shawl from my mom, as well as the befloralled dress underneath. I got to wear oodles of make-up and beads. Some extremely dark "grown-up" hose and my "platform" woven sandals and I was givin' off some major gypsy vibe. I think I went to a dance and was mortified, a la Farmer Ted in "Sixteen Candles", by the geekboy actually named Ted who had a huge crush on me. Started the trend of me not attending school dances.

My brother, on the other hand, was a creation straight out of my mother's mind. She got a big white shirt or lab coat and sewed milk jugs (by their handles) onto it. Cut a hat jug for his head and stuck sale stickers all over him. One of the neighbors called her up and said "I heard your son was dressed up as 'jugs'. So when he shows up, he's not the jugs I was thinking of." Nice. Who in their right mind would think my parents would dress my brother up as a set of boobies?

I had to do it, brother o' mine. Don't worry, I won't be showing any pics of you as an adult!

Halloween Costumes 3.0

Yes, I am actually wearing a bikini top. You can't really see it, but it is there alright. This isn't actually a Halloween costume, but an outfit for a costume party in April. I thought it was in keeping with the dress up theme pictoral I've been blogging. The skirt is made out of a paper bag or two. Yeah, living in Florida certainly allowed one to wear pretty much whatever you or your parents came up with.

Halloween Costumes 2.0

Yep, the siblings again. This picture may be the Halloween right before the princess and the football player or the Halloween after. "The Princess and the Football Player". Sounds like one of those bad romances:) Either that or a hokey juvenile book title. In this pic, I'm sort of a Southern Belle or Anne of Green Gables character. Well, I look like that to me now but I didn't know about Belles or Annes at that time. Maybe I think I'm a princess. I don't remember. My brother is Popeye. The extreme tans are due to the good ole Florida sun! I think we're wearing our parents clothes. I don't remember who's car that is in the background. Stay tuned for more costume pics...

Project Runway in Nutshell #12

Well, it’s finally over.

Show begins with Laura and Jeff verbally duking it out about his uber-steroid induced extreme sewing skills. Tim informs Jeff that the receipts for the “bubble shorts” are missing. So Jeff begins creating a kicky denim skirt as a possible replacement.

Tim has everyone “gather ‘round” to discuss the concerns of “outsourced construction”. After a thorough investigation and fine-toothing Jeff’s receipts, producers and Tim are “confident Jeff did the work himself so he’s still in”. Jeff gets his usual hug from Uli. Tim goes on to say that Jeff has to remove the shorts as there is no receipt for the pleating and he went over-budget by $227.00 so he will have to remove something from the collection to balance it out as well and the judges will have to be informed. Jeff decides to ditch the scary blonde wigs and use some leather pants he just “happened to forget he brought along” as a replacement for the shorts.

Laura graciously tells Jeff “meet you on the runway”, shakes his hand, and kisses the air next to his cheek. She states “she never meant for him to get disqualified”, she just wanted her concerns noted and investigated.

Next segment is more of the designers justifying their existences, their collections, and why they should win. Blah Blah Blah… just show the clothes already.

Tim gets all vehklempt during the “last gather ‘round” and tells the designers “they are all winners no matter the outcome”.

Bryant Park at 4:00am. Shots of Laura in a short flirty black booty dress and practicing her pregnant supermodel runway walk. Designers rushing around getting their clothes, models, hair, faces, accessories, and last minute whatevers done. Shots of family members, previous designers (tell me who wanted to see Vincent again? Not me.), and some celebs.

Heidi, the ringmaster in a horrendous tentlike outfit starts the show.

First Jeff. His line lost cohesiveness for me after the red polka dots stopped. I didn’t like his stuff. I didn’t see anything I would wear or what his point was. Sorry.

Next Uli. Her line was shown to some serious “whafa” music. She seemed to be enamored with keyhole cleavage and naked backs. Not so many prints. I really didn’t like her line either. Nothing I’d buy.

Third Laura. She quipped she “always wanted to make it big in the fashion world. I got big (meaning her bun in the oven) and I’m in the fashion world”. I thought her line was luxurious and all of it flattering. I LOVED the fringy dress – how flirty, flattering, and fun! I liked it!

Last Michael. All I saw was a blur of shiny satins and big tight waist-cinching belts.

Shots of who liked who – celebs, bigwigs, and previous designers all had comments.

Judging:

Laura’s review: MK said the collection looked like it was worth $30,000 instead of the $8,000 the designers were given to spend and it was meticulously made. Nina asked Laura why she stayed with what she’s already shown them and asked “is she creative, an innovator?” Fern said it was fine to be so focused, one gets more mileage out of black dresses, and the line was extraordinary. Heidi stated "if you had a Laura dress, you’d have it forever".

Michael’s review: Fern felt Michael didn’t live up to the hype and while she liked some pieces there were others that were disappointing. MK said Michael’s volume was turned so far up that it was too much and his taste was questionable. Nina thought he showed a wide range and an outfit for any day possible. Heidi thought he was off and the line was strange.

Jeff’s reviews: Fern saw “all the beautiful details, lots of ideas", and his strength is to be funky and sporty. MK thought Jeff showed an outfit for every juncture of a woman’s life (going to a party, the movies, on a day, stay at home, etc). Heidi brought up the fact he was over-budget and stated he was the most innovative. Nina just reiterated that Jeff has a definite point of view.

Uli’s reviews: Nina stated the clothes were terrific, they will sell, and women will like and buy them. Heidi wanted to wear them all and said Uli had variety. MK felt Uli’s color choice was not cohesive but women would want to be put in her clothes. Fern expressed the resort market is a big market right now and she likes Uli’s orientation.

Fern states all four designers will have a career in fashion.

Decision: Michael needs time to grow = Out. Laura is too limited but the collection was exquisitely crafted = Out. More Uli hugging Jeff. Stop already!! UGH!! Uli pushed herself and made a collection women would wear but = Out. Jeff had innovation, cohesion, and he showed a wide range = IN = Winner.

I have to admit. I felt deflated after watching this last PR show of the season. Not sure exactly why, but I have a feeling it involves an unpleasant personality winning a big talent contest. Granted, some of the best people in their fields are not all that pleasant, but… Oh screw it. I wanted Laura to win. I loved her stuff.

Halloween Costumes 1.0

This is me and my brother. We were both dressed as our all time favorites. I, of course, am a princess and my brother was THE football player. Mom made my dress, provided the requisite "diamonds", and twined beads into my hair. Aren't we just the cutest siblings ever?!! This was in the mid-70's (as evidenced by the infamous decor in the background - Mom loved the earthy tones:)

In a Helpless Position

I'm a "helper" (one can read this as I'm a busy body too). I went into elementary education because I love the idea and actual process of teaching. I like imparting information and knowledge and watching kids/adults use what they have learned to move forward.

My job consists of helping people. Whether it is a child, a parent, a teacher, a therapist, an extended relative, a direct support provider, a doctor, a friend, or anyone else connected with my clients. They have a question – I have an answer or at least a direction to head to get the answer. They need a resource – I have lists, I have a network, I know where to point them. They need an alternative funding source, respite, in-home support, recreation options, transportation ideas, assistance being an advocate, facilitation of team members’ communication, etc. You name it, I can help.

But yesterday, I was the helpless one. I watched someone get some really bad news, get a shock, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do but watch. No words to fix this, no ideas to help straighten the situation out, no blinding light to show everyone the truth of the matter, no fairy godmother to wave her magic wand and put everything back together again.

Just me watching this person fall apart in front of me and ask to be left alone.

Which I could do, letting them know I am available if they need me.

Helpless. Just helpless. I don’t like being on the other side.

More Pumpkins from My Past

These are from the early 70's. I think I was one or two in the first photo.

This is from my college days (1990). My roommate and I thought we were being so clever with this. There's an accompanying photo of her doing the same, but I didn't post it. Notice I'm still hangin' on to the 80's style!

Savior Slambo to the Rescue

This morning I had the greatest difficulty waking up and getting out of bed. Thank goodness my 8:30am CPR class was cancelled. There’s no way I could have made that class in decent clothes, blowdried hair, and eaten breakfast prior to getting there. Once I got moving, I had contact lens issues. Some how I managed to transfer a sticky non-absorbent fingerprint to each lens and no amount of rubbing removes it. I have no idea what the substance is, but it is tenacious. Actually I have been dealing with issue the past week into this week and finally had enough this morning (one smudge is in the middle of the lens and cloudy vision is just not an option). I opened two new lenses and made sure my fingers were saturated with saline solution before even touching them much less transferring them onto my eyeball. Then as I was leaving, I noticed an extremely panicked bird in my garage. It was repeatedly throwing itself against the window at the end, cheeping, panting, fluffing, and generally working itself into a huge state. I talked to it calmly as I got my work stuff in the car. I walked over to the window and tried to encourage the little sparrow to hop on the expired license plate so I could carry it out of the garage. Nope, it was having none o’ that. So I looked around the garage to see what “tools” I had available to deal with this situation. Ah hah, an old dishwashing tub and a cardboard tray! I angled the tub under the sparrow when he flew upwards a bit. I caught him but he escaped twice before I managed to successfully get the tray over the tub as a lid while he was still in it. I gently carried all the paraphernalia and bird out of the garage. When I got into the middle of the backyard, I lifted the lid and that bird flew off towards the trees like the Hounds of Hell were after it. I hope it doesn’t have a heart attack. I was told birds can easily get so stressed they can die of a heart attack resulting from panic. Just call me a softhearted bird rescuer. I hope the good feeling lasts thru this sucky people day. Chances are its not gonna.

Solution to License Nonsense

The Edward is correct!Although in a round-about and most complicated way...

The girls think they can fool Junior because everyone knows there are more numbers than letters. But it's necessary to consider the number combinations possible in the limited space available on a license plate using numbers compared to the number of combinations using letters. Since there are only 10 individual numbers (0-9) and 26 letters (a-z), you can make more license plate with letters than numbers.

BOO!!! Pumpkin From My Past

This is from the early 90's.

Something Strange in the Dead of Saturday Night

Saturday night I tried to stay up late in the Chair of Death and read. Not happening. Mowing tired my ass right out (damn motorized inanimate objects who don’t want to start and make me wing my arm back 50 million times and then show me that the people who fixed the oil leak FORGOT to put in one of the screws to keep the rope starter in place so I had to get my tool box and dig around to find a screw that kinda fits and put it in place!!!!) and I kept dropping the book on the closest cat. I succumbed and went to bed and was in a dead sleep. As I was turning over (I typically wake up a little while turning over), I heard the phone ringing. I have no idea what time it is but I fling off the covers and race myopically and sleepily to the living room to answer the damn phone. Conversation as follows:

Me: Hello?
Me: Hello?
??: Uh, hello.
Me: Who is this?
??: Joe Williams
Me: Well Joe, do you realized its 4:00 in the morning. [this was said after an extremely large squint at the tiny VCR clock over six feet away and I thought that’s what the numbers looked like.]
Joe: It’s not 4:00am here.
Me: Well it is here. [continuing to believe I saw the time correctly, hah]
Joe: Where’s here?
Me: Wherever you just called.
Joe: Oh.
Me: I believe you have the wrong number.
Joe: Oh.
Me: [hung up on him]

I lumber back to bed and decide to write this little episode down for blogging purposes and had just finish writing “If it’s not 4:00am where he’s at, then he needed to do a 1 -(area code) - number, so where did he think he was calling?” when I decided to look at the clock in my bedroom. It said 1:44am. Oops, am I bad. That’s what happens when you need visual implements to aid said horrible natural vision.

So Joe’s excuse was that he was most likely making a drunken booty call and dialed the wrong number sans (area code).

My excuse was that I was woken out of a heavy sleep, can’t see on a given day – no less in the middle of the night – without my contacts or glasses, and I was highly irritated as I was having sexual prank caller flashbacks.

Mini Mystery Monday Finally

License Nonsense
(pg 77 – 78 in Challenging Whodunit Puzzles by Jim Sukach)

Flora and Fauna were a little frustrated at how easily their cousin Junior figured out which of them has eaten the early breakfast (an earlier mystery, don’t worry your heads about it). At the same time they admired his cleverness. Maybe he was more closely related to them than they thought.

The twins sat in the back seat of Grandpa Quicksolve’s car on their way to Kris Crossing, and Junior sat in the front next to Grandpa. The sisters whispered to each other and decided to give Junior another test.

“I like to look at license plates,“ Flora said.

“There’s one that says MY TOY,“ said Fauna, pointing to a bright red sportscar racing past them.

“Look at the van in front of us,” Grandpa said. The van’s license plate said MOMS BUS.

“I like those special ones,” Flora said, “with words”.

“It seems funny to me when you see one with a name and then a number, like BOB-3. It makes me wonder what happened to BOB-1 and BOB-2”, said Grandpa.

“Maybe it’s a woman who married a lot of men named Bob,” joked Junior.

“Regular license plates have letters and numbers. I wonder why they use letters,” Flora said.

“Maybe they are easier to remember,“ Fauna replied.

“I guess if they use both, they can make more plates,” Junior said.

“Do you suppose they could make more plates if they just used numbers than if they just used letters?” Flora asked, directing her question to Junior.

“That’s an easy question,” Junior answered.

But is the answer easy?

Project Runway in Nutshell #11

Hokay, here goes…

Tim checks on the four finalists one month later…

Michael in Atlanta
Michael shows off his new “grill” (braces for us white folks) and his super neat sewing nook. He offers to cook Tim some deep fried Southern Comfort food and introduces his extended family. We see photos of Michael with Bobbie Brown hair, an Afro, and a shaved head. His parents are SUPER supportive of him. Michael’s line is “Street Safari” and there is not much finished. Tim cautions Michael on his “lack of cohesiveness” and gives advice on a “too long” zipper.

Laura in New York City
Laura informs us that she will be having another boy who is her 5th male in a row (her hubby’s Y sperms are good swimmers!). She buzzes Tim up to her work/living space and it is the quiet before the storm. Laura’s line is “evening wear” and she’s divided the clothes into four groups. Tim cautions her on her charmeuse (sp?) Popsicle dress and tells her she “has a miraculous amount of work done, but lots of thinking still to do”. He reminds her to keep the “youth factor”. That being said, the storm hits and Laura’s offspring overrun Tim. We see shots of kids all over everything and Tim being offered turtle poop by the youngest. During “find the turtle”, Tim meets Laura’s husband, Peter, who looks a tad like a mad scientist. Tim tells Laura that “it’s only been 30 minutes and he’s exhausted”. The turtle finally appears and is given a plate of Cheerios.

Uli in Miami
Uli tells us how much she loves where she lives, about her East German background, how she watched Miami Vice when little, and shows off her tremendous view. Uli’s line is “Tropical Safari” (hmmm? Sound familiar?). Tim tells he is worried about “her being considered a one note designer”.

Jeff in Los Angeles
Jeff, his mohawked girlfriend, and son meet Tim at the door. Jeff goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on about his son. And makes us listen to his substance abuse filled background and how his roommate saved him from hanging himself. Jeff is an example of how not all clean and sober people develop an appropriate social skill set. I suspect he was too busy drugging it up to learn how to interact nicely with others and has never taken the trouble to learn after rehab. Jeff’s line is “Japanese ghost story/kimono pattern” inspired and most of it is finished. Tim comments that it’s “unexpected and beautiful”.

Designers Back to NYCity
Michael arrives first and falls asleep, Laura wakes him up, Uli arrives and Michael practices his one phrase of German, Jeff comes in, Uli asks him if people have been throwing eggs at him, Laura stays on the couch, and all went to bed early.

All get to see their new Macy’s work space and set up their racks. Tim checks up on them. Jeff “has nothing left to do”. Uli “needs to get her dresses on the models to check movement and proportion” and Tim “misses her prints”. Laura “is amazing and good thing she got rid of the green dress”. Michael’s stuff doesn’t excite Tim and he advises Michael to either “tone it way down or go way over the top”. Tim collects their receipts and leaves. Michael decides to “go over the top” and Uli states she “needs to pick the right models”.

Model casting.

Hair consult: Jeff has blond wigs that are all the same as he wants his models to “be blank slates”. Michael wants big bouncy hair. Uli goes with natural fly-away tresses. Laura opts for sleek classy hair which will be individual for each.

Model fittings.

Make-up consult: Jeff gets shiny. Michael goes with “muted animal”. Uli wants bronze glowy with shimmery shadows. Laura opts for a strong eye with barely there make-up.

More model fittings.

Laura believes Jeff did not sew his entire collection himself. She thinks Jeff’s handiwork took such a large jump in craftsmanship, he has no alterations to do, no finishing touches, and he has said he did other things while working on the collection that it is unbelievable he did all the work himself and decides to air her opinion to the others. After Laura and the other designers ransack Jeff’s collection and go over it with a fine-toothed comb, Laura decides to present her concerns to Tim. She takes Tim on the terrace, informs him of what she thinks about Jeff’s sudden high level of craftsmanship, “although she can’t prove it, her gut is telling her it is true”. Tim states this is hard to prove but he is going to talk with the producers and they will investigate.

Laura tells Jeff what she’s done. Talk about having a set of massive balls! While being pregnant, no less! I’ll say this, Laura tells it exactly like it is, doesn’t play underhanded games, and doesn’t apologize for expressing her feelings. (After all she let Vincent know to his face she thinks he’s delusional.) Wow, what confidence! In some ways it’s refreshing how up front she is, but I can see it being extremely uncomfortable at times. Jeff could have gone all ballistic on her but he didn’t. Jeff’s only rebuttal was that it was all his own work and he “can sew more than perfectly when he has more than one day to complete something”.

Tim tells everyone people are innocent until proven guilty and PR will be looking into Jeff and his receipts. He gives Jeff a chance to ‘fess up and Jeff only confesses to sending the pleating out.

Next week’s preview: Shot of Jeff crying (and being hugged) – could be tears of joy coz he’s vindicated or tears of frustration/upsetness coz he’s been caught. We’ll see!

Pundle Answers

1) Right between the eyes

2) The short end of the stick

3) Rowboats'

4) Outer space

5) Meeting of the minds

6) Double vision


Project Runway Nutshell to come tomorrow, have notes, but too swamped to type up wittily.

Hallo-Venting

Ex-President Bill Clinton has zealously rousted sodas and other sweet drinks out of schools and now he’s targeting high fat and high calorie snacks. I guess his massive heart surgery and resulting weight loss have given him a bloated reality check and he wants to force that reality check on an obese America. Don’t get me wrong, I am one of the overweight population, but I have a problem with Clinton. A major problem. And it’s not that he’s goin’ all Dirty Harry on sweets in school. It’s his recommendation to start being role models during the season of Halloween. He said that instead of handing out candy and other traditional Halloween goodies; that fruit should be handed out.

FRUIT!?!?! FRUIT!?!?!

I hope you are all thinking what I’m thinking.

First off, candy is part and parcel of Halloween. Yes, moderation is key and makes your candy stash last that much longer.

Second, who in their right mind is going to let their children eat an unpackaged/unsealed item given to them by a stranger? My parents even threw the little boxes of raisins out. No one I know lets their kids eat the popcorn balls, cookies, muffins, cupcakes, etc that someone they don’t know made.

Third, who in their right mind doesn’t have visions of razor blades and poison dancing thru their heads?

FRUIT??!! Seriously??!!

Bill is an idiot and needs to get real. He can make all the suggestions he wants but he needs to leave the holidays strictly alone. They are times for enjoyment and indulgence (in moderation one hopes) not for denial, repression, and misery.

Sorry, No Mini Mystery Monday

I bought some new mini-mystery books this weekend and brought one of them today to transcribe a mystery for you folks. When what to my wondering eyes should appear? The mysteries are more than two trade paperback pages and too much for me to type out. And I left the other books at home. So Sorry! I will get back on track next Monday.

PsuedoAunt Sam

I got to spend all of Saturday with my friend J2 and her son, my pseudonephew, TJ!!! Since my brother isn't having any nieces and nephews any time soon, J2 generously offered her son to be my pseudonephew. It's great! I met him the day of his birth and I can make him laugh in the midst of a tantrum/crying jag by saying "Boogabutt" or "How you doin?" (like Joey from "Friends"). J2 has been teaching him sign language to help him when he can't say or remember the word he wants and she says his favorite phrase is "more Sam" while he signs 'more'.

We went candlepin bowling (He's better than the two of us adults, he's got this sort of slow Zen thing going where you think his ball isn't going to make it and it bounces off the bumpers and makes a perfect angled hit and knocks down 4-5 pins. J2 and I are Queens of the One Pin.) and then to Pumpkinland with a quick stop at a fabulous candyshop/bakery. I am going to have to go back as their Cracked Black Peppercorn/Parmesan Bread has become my new to-die-for-must-have-and-I-will-beat-you-to-a-pulp-for-the-last-loaf favorite. Serious bread folks!

Here are a few pics of our day...

TJ is an individualist, that's why he's sitting backwards on the digger.






TJ is muckled on to my leg trying to escape the Killer Pumpkin that's chasing him!

We had the best time. The pictures really don't give you the scope of the size and sheer number of people there. J2 and I got to see a plethora of parenting skills and lack thereof. And I was truly pissed at the number of parents that let their kids be pushy and rude. I swear I had to hold my self back coz there were two little boys that overran the wooden tractor and wouldn't let TJ on it when it was his turn. But don't get me started, there was a mother I was going to have to verbally take down if she didn't get her dumb-ass kid off the digger and let TJ have a turn. We took him on the big slide featured above, but he did not want to go again. His favorite parts were the animals, the water pump, and watching the pedal racers.

A good time was had by all.

These are PUNDLES. Word picture puzzles that make a word or phrase.
For example: EGSG = Scrambled Eggs.
Let me know how you did.


1) iRiIiGiHiTi


2) STICk



3) BOAT BOAT BOAT BOAT



4) OUTER_______



5) SDNIMINDS



6) VISION VISION


I did have more, but the blog won't let me do the up and down ones.

Favorite Bumper Sticker

The proctologist called....

They found your head.

A Tad Confessional and a Little Bit TMI

My last boyfriend was 11 years ago.

I haven’t dated since then. I haven’t been with a guy since then. The most excitement my parts have had, have been my yearly visits to the gynecologist and it’s really not all that fun.

Writing it down makes it seem so stark and bleak.

But the 11 years haven’t been all that stark, bleak, and loveless. I have my friends, family, employment drama and upheavals, celebrations, interests, reading, cats, creating, buying and moving into my very own house, the resulting house work (read: big-ass projects), events, errands, new things to try/do/make, learning new things, trips, favorite TV shows/movies, and most of all finding out that I am quite content to be by myself. The 11 years have gone by quickly too. I hardly realize it’s been so long unless I write it down or think about it.

Granted, I yearn for company at times. Company that isn’t my friends or family. Especially when I see a romantic scene on TV or in a movie or read one in a book. I think, “God that would be nice, why don’t I have that?”

It’s a rhetorical question. I do know why I don’t have that. I’m not actively seeking someone. I’m not “putting myself out there”. I’m not going/doing things where a plethora of males congregate.

And I am one prickly bitch at times; well I should be honest since I’m confessing, most times. Working on that tho,

Also, I have body issues and don’t feel attractive enough to display my pudgy plumage to attract someone. I know that there is no such thing as perfection, but when I don’t feel confident or attractive, I really don’t want to share or be with another. I don’t even like looking at myself in the mirror. I did try running again, but developed bone spurs, so impact activities are no longer something I can do. I’m looking for something else to do physically, but the slough of despond has me by the ankles at this time so I haven’t done anything yet.

I do meet the random guy at the book sales or grocery shopping but they’re typically in their 60’s or older and if they’re younger, they’re married or have kids with them. It’s nice to talk to them, exchange authors, tips, information, and whatnot.

I’m too independent to be in a “needy” relationship (and ICK!, couldn’t handle it either). I don’t have the patience to put up with the games. And I’m too honest to engage in subterfuge. I would need someone who is as strong as I am or a teeny bit stronger. I tend to attract the guys who have mortal wounds. Don’t get me wrong, everyone has damage of some sort, but I am not an ER damn it.

I do miss the anticipation, the passion, the comfort, the company, the mental and physical stimulation, the energy that’s created, the funny moments, the caring moments, the “OMG, did that just happen” moments, and the sharing. I can do without. Can I do with?

So I guess what I’m confessing to is that I haven’t had a relationship with a guy in 11 years.

The bit of TMI is that I’m surprised my parts haven’t grown over.

And the plan of action?
Dressing appropriately – check (read: no more dressing in baggy enormous clothing to hide in).
Upping the physical activity level – in the thinking stage (read: I have a few leads, just not followed up on them).
Standing up straight and looking people in the eye – working on that (read: practicing while out on errands).
Admitting this is something I’m missing – check (read: I just put it all out there with this entry).

Dinner Hijinks at La Casa del Loco Gatos

It all starts off so innocently...


The posse arrives to check out the situation...


Then things start to go bad...


And get worse as potshots are taken...


Strong words are exchanged...


And one finally backs down, but not with good grace...


Then 2 and a half hours later, former enemies are sacked out together...


And a quick shot of some fabulous feet...

Mini Mystery Monday Cop-Out

I'm swamped and cannot transcribe a mystery for your reading pleasure, although I have a mystery question to ask. I do not know the answer so I'm hoping someone out there knows it and can help me when I sing in the car.


The Eagles song "Hotel California" has a verse that I have been absolutely unable to figure out for years. Help me, please!!!


Towards the beginning of the song.... "Warm smell of [???????]/Rising up thru the air"


What is he singing?