Project Runway Reunion

Schmooze Schmooze Schmooze
Schmaltz Schmaltz Schmaltz
Blah blah blah

I'm gonna just give the highlights that got stuck in my viewing filter.

Rami and Chris. Wow. That was some "body english" on Rami's part. Sitting real up close and personal to Chris, inclining his head towards Chris, legs crossed towards Chris, arm behind Chris, touching Chris. If I didn't know better, I'd think there was a little sumpin' sumpin' goin' on between them. But I'm sure Rami respects Chris and they're just friends. Right?

I can't compete with Heidi's verbal smackdown of Victorya...

Heidi: "Victorya is always a bit uptight, no? Or is it just me?"

Tim: "No, it's not you."

Victorya: close up of her trademark "just-ate-a-big-ass-lemon-resulting-in-sphincter-lips" look.

And the editors treated us to plenty of those sprinkled thru out the show. Seriously, wonder what crawled up her butt to make her such a sour puss?

Kevin's sexuality was put under the microscope while he continued to swear he's impervious to the gay germ. Like it's catching... then he admits he might have been gay in a past life. Either that or I think he was a woman and is now being punished by coming back as a man that feeleth compelled to protesteth too mucheth.

Everyone got a chance to be warped to Elise's Planet of Good Vibrations, Positivity, and Blessings.

Next on the Reunion Tour was Ricky's Waterworks and Nonexistent Dam which Rami said were just beautiful. Hey, let's just fly Ricky over the worst drought areas to seed the dry-as-a-bone clouds. I said seed. dry. bone.

(My inadvertent innuendos are just out of control!)

Montage of Chris' laughter. At one point it looked like he was going to hawk up a hairball.

(God, it just keeps getting worse!)

Michael Kors with his steam kettle laugh. And I thought Chris had the monopoly on giggle fits and belly laughs. Viewers got to watch Michael practically pee his pants he was non-stop laughing so hard during the SpandexO'Rama Challenge. And he infected everyone else. Heidi had to fan herself she got so warm.

We got to see what the designers thought their wrestling diva names were.

We already knew Sweet P was "Spread Eagle", Christian was "Feriousa Coutura", and Chris was "Wonder Woman". But we found out that Jillian thought she was "Tuffie", Ricky was the "Mexican Jumping Bean", and Rami was... oh I forget, something to do with the damn drape tho! Tim thought he would be "Polly Syllabillicus". Nina told everyone she's been called "Meana Garzilla". And while Michael Kors did not share what his wrestling name would be, he did share that he wore diaper pants and shawls. OMG, the mental picture that has been seared in my mind!

I was sad they didn't include the "pooing fabric" comment to the review of Heidi's Greatest Hits.

Carmen got all emotional because she was "talked about" for her shirtless wonder fiasco. Then she got a chance to get all emotional once again when Heidi brought it up under the Worst Design Ever segment. Seriously. You send out crap, expect to be crapped on.

Christian was voted Fan Favorite "by a landslide".

Christian: "Really? That's crazy. I'm so poor."

And in honor of his winning, Viewers are treated to a "fierce" montage with flawless hair moments - "Party over here, business over there, and this is the money maker." I thought the winner might have been Elise, you know she does need to soup up her space ship.

I didn't even bother to watch the predictions. My stomach has already been giving me probs all week and I don't need to irritate an already touchy gag reflex.

Party Pretzels InTha House!

Canna I getta WHOOT WHOOT?

So I spent my Saturday making

pretzels for our company bake-sale.

I crushed the Reese's Minis and the

M&M Minis so they would actually
stay on this time. I learned the hard

way, whole is too heavy.

As you can see I made plenty of each flavor.

The other two flavors are sprinkles and non-pareils thingies. Hopefully they'll price them reasonably and WHOOT they'll all disappear.

I'm treating you to a yummy close-up. Well, my books are calling to me as I haven't read a thing today and I'm having major withdrawal symptoms.

Enjoy the Party Pretzels!

I apologize for the layout. Apparently lefting and righting of pictures with accompanying text is NOT in my skill set!

Project Runway in Nutshell #11

And then there were five.

One last field trip which was to the Metropolitan Museum of Art where the artwork known as Tim awaited them.

Challenge: Create a design inspired by a piece of art.

Rami was in hog-draped heaven with the Greek/Roman statues.

Christian gravitated to androgynous European Art.

Chris laughed in church.

Sweet P and Jillian drifted around with their mouths open.

After finding fabrics, designers immediately started working away. I had been channel surfing prior to PR and landed on "Sixteen Candles". I have to say, Christian's shirt design reminded me very strongly of all the puffed sleeves in that movie. As much as he makes a statement, most of it comes from the good ole '80s.

Viewers were treated to everyone's typical pre-runway creating behavior: Jillian and her time management issues, Christian working fast and talkin' smack, Chris napping, Rami with the ever-lovin' draping, and Sweet P having second/third/fourth/fifth thoughts ad nauseum and turning out something completely different than what she started or thought she'd make (I certainly did NOT see any similarity to peacocks in her work!).

The guest judge was Robert Cavalli who was completely enamored with Chris (said he could see Chris in Paris doing haute couture) and Christian. And sort of stuck on Jillian. He was not at all floored by Rami or Sweet P.

Winner: Christian

In: Jillian (wonder if she knew she was treating everyone to quite the undies shot with her enthusiastic jumping?)

Auffed: Sweet P who totally made up for the lack of Ricky's waterworks.

In thru judges' deadlock: Rami and Chris because although they basically created reruns, they created good reruns. Both of them are to create a line for Fashion Week like the others and the judges want to see them stretch themselves more. As such, they will need to show their 3 strongest pieces to the judges who will then pick which of them will be part of the three remaining designers.

And there you have it. I have a headache and am going to bed. I'm tired and achy and thought this show not worth staying up for. It'd be better at 9pm instead of 10pm.

My Bitch Ass Is TIRED!

And if my biceps are not HUGE by the end of this never-ending winter, there will be some Universal Being smackdown happening!

So we got more snow overnight and into this morning. About 6 inches worth. Translate that into waist-high snow at the end of the driveway where the street plow kindly piles it up for me. I spent an hour just shoveling the end when my neighbor, wonderful older gentleman, snowblowed his way over after witnessing my distress (and here's me hoping his machine was loud enough to block out the creative language I was using because I was so damn tired and frustrated and still had the entire rest of the driveway to shovel) and told me

"I know you shovel for the exercise, but this is getting ridiculous, so I'm snowblowing your driveway for you."

I told him that would be absolutely fabulous, thanked him profusely, and away he went.

If you look closely at the first pic, you can see where he accidently snowblowed some snow onto my grey neighbor's windows. OOPs, no harm done, I apologized to grey neighbor for him. I'm so thankful he snowblowed because while I was in the process of fine tune-shoveling (yes, I'm a bit anal about my driveway), the big street plow came by again and nicely deposited a fresh pile at the end of my driveway - this time wet heavy chunky snow. Too too nice. So I spent another half hour-45 minutes cleaning that mess up.

The reason I'm so tired, is that I have to loft the snow over the piles that are now over my head. I took pics so you can see how tall they are. The last one is quite amusing. I'm frowning from the effort it is taking to hold the damn camera up for your benefit!

Yes, I know the hat is rather rather, but hey, I just took a shower, my hair is wet, and it's raining and I really try hard to avoid giving the public an ugly-ass picture. Hence the cropped face.

An Announcement and a Old Email Share

I had perfect hair today. And when I say perfect, I mean PERFECTION. Hair that you see in commercials and in magazines. My stacks in the back curled under, the sides curled under, the annoying layers on top curled under and slightly forward, the front curled under, no flipadoing, no tweaking out at the sides in a half-hearted twist, no going opposite ways, no hairs sticking straight up at the part... just beautiful bob perfection. And it stayed that way all day. ALL DAY! Out in the cold dealing with trash day (and that was pure annoyance from hell, let me tell you, with zippy bags of poopNpee exploding all over the place), pulling on and off a neck gator more than once, wearing the neck gator (which has been known to make curls go wrong), and going in and out several times. Of course, the only people who got to experience said hair perfection were my co-workers and no one commented on the heaven that was my hair today. Well, I got one comment but it wasn't perfection related, just that she liked the bobbishness of my new 'do. But I've been admiring myself in the mirror and have just now torn myself away to share an old email with you that never fails to make me laugh every time I read it.

Subject: Is Hell Exothermic?

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic [gives off heat] or endothermic [absorbs heat]?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boil's Law [gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed] or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell, since there are more then one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boil's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banana during my Freshman year, '... and that will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

The student received the only "A" given.

PMS Is Such a Zhitty Time!

I am having a break-out break-down!

Wha tha f?

Late thirties is NO time to be regressing skintextually... but I've managed somehow to go straight back to 9th grade skin-wise complete with badly behaving hair doing the colic flipado!

Rassin' sassin' frassin' pissed off is what I am!!!

Not only do I have waves of irritability crashing over me every 3 seconds as a result of someone's creaking chair/chomping/paper crinkling/type tapping/breathing my air/invading my space, 6 inches of snow to shovel BEFORE I go to work, and suddenly having a co-worker be ignobly ushered out mid-day... but I have to suffer the indignity of having zits.

Not just little go-away-in-a-day zits strategically placed where they can be hidden.

Oh no, these are positioned perfectly between brows above the nose, high on the cheekbones, and sprinkled on the sides of my chin and are of the type that says "this looks like a good place to camp out for a week and a half, oh, and let's pitch the bright red tents so we can be seen from outer space!"

Arrrggghhh! Where's the justice?

Project Runway in Nutshell #10

And in this corner, we have...

Spread Eagle (aka Sweet P) with her secret weapon - "the thighs"

Wonder Woman (aka Chris) who likes to smother men with her(his) breasts

Feriousa Coutura (aka Christian) who will hairspray you right in the eyes

Valium Vahjayjay (aka Jillian) with her zombie attitude and voice from the dead

The Drapin' Fool (aka Rami) who will give you an Indian Arm Burn like nobody else

Sir CriesAlot (aka Ricky) who weeps at the drop of a hat

Challenge: design an outfit for WWE women that they can wear in the ring!

Instead of Mood, designers overdosed at the "Spandex House". I think "House of Spandex" sounds so much better. And Sweet P bought a fabric I actually have! I know, says something rather "rather" about me.

Interesting that Christian thought all the noises behind the door (before they met their clients and knew what the challenge was) were "sex noises". Makes you wonder what he's been up too. And fancy him designing chaps as well. Hmmmm... well he did say "I'm a beast, you guys, you just don't know!" And his client asked him to marry her, now THAT would be interesting.

Because there are so many "boys" on the show, the editors thought the Viewers should be treated to many shots of the designers measuring their WWE clients, boob touching, ab showing, butt hugging, you straight men get the picture, you alternative life-style girls as well coz Sweet P and Jillian are frankly so not appealing at this point.

My favorite quick flash - Christian and his client sharing an ozone-depleting moment before the runway.

Observation: Notice how Jillian always needs the door to hit her in the ass on the way out to the runway?

Top Three

Valium Vahjayjay (Jillian): deemed sporty classic with sizzle (those were SOME booty-boy shorts, butt cheeks are a'poppin')

Feriousa Coutura (Christian): deemed feisty with Prince/Appolonia overtones

Wonder Woman (Chris): deemed a glitteringly expensive romp-stompin' ass-kickin' sexy (I LOVED the black glittery fabric, where can I get ME summa that?)

Bottom Three

The Drapin' Fool (Rami): twisted boobie-top Barbie Pink does not an "all American girl" make

Spread Eagle (Sweet P): missed the mark for sex kitten drama with her sleeveless tunic and unhappy client

Sir CriesAlot (Ricky): more bathing suit than superhero

Winner (outfit will actually be worn in the ring): Chris - in his own words: "Of course I win the tackiest challenge we've had."

Auffed: Ricky - What no waterworks?!?!?

I'm feeling witty, oh so witty, and funny with this show! I actually like what I've written!

Something New, No Going Back

I cut my hair.

6 inches of it.

And now I have a new do.

Hopefully I will be able to do the do on my own.

Let's just say for less hair, I gotta use a whole lotta product!

It's going to take some getting used to...

And I'm gonna have to start haulin' myself out of bed earlier!

Is Choice Something We Really Have? Part 2

So you make your "free choice", basing it on research, experience, opinions, learning, gut feelings, and desire.

How do you know you are actually going to get what you "choose"?

What if your "choice" turns out not to be a "choice" you wanted?

What if your "choice" is what you wanted but the ramifications and results are not what you would have "chosen"?

Do you make new "choices" to fix your bad "choice"? Can you? Should you?

There are so many things out there that people "choose" to do/have.

Like children. They "chose" to have a child or several. But they really don't get a "choice" of what kind of child they are going to have. The child could be a boy or girl, it could be healthy or unhealthy, it could have cognitive disabilities or mental disabilities, it could be tall or short, it could be fat or thin, it could be mellow or moody, it could be generous or mean, it could have alot or a little common sense, it could be neat or messy, it could be stoic or a whiner, it could be wonderful or it could be a menace. Or any combo of things. But the point is, parents do not "choose" what their child will be like. Sure they have hopes and dreams but they can't make those a reality no matter how much parenting, training, nurturing, and medication goes into the child. Oh, some parents luck out and get exactly what they would have "chosen" for a child, but most parents have to temper their hope-and-dream child with the reality child - they get some of what they would "choose" but then they also get things they would never have "chosen". I'm not saying these compromised parents don't love their kiddos, they do, they just didn't get what they thought they were "choosing" when they "chose" to have a child.

Then there are the ramifications of having the child they "chose" to have. Parents know they will have to make sacrifices, changes, and their lives will forever be different. But do they really "choose" the loss of freedom, the fatigue, the financial cost, the emotional toll, the spiritual roller coaster, the constant worry, the value judgements, the picking battles, the cat in the dryer, the firecracker in the toilet, the suspension from school, the broken bones, the serious illnesses, the fear that things will get beyond their "choice" control?

They never had control over their "choices" in the first place.

You don't have control over your "choices" when you "choose" to have a child, take a new job, start a relationship, get married, get divorced, move, fly in a plane, drive a car, walk out your door, wake up in the morning, fall asleep.

For that matter, we didn't "chose" to be in the body we're in (sorry all of you who believe in self-directed reincarnation). We don't "choose" to have poor eyesight, bad backs, weak ankles, predisposition to being overweight, arthritis, brittle bones, migraines, catching the flu or common cold, diarrhea, asthma, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or get cancer. We don't "choose" to get old and we don't "choose" to die.

Having "choices" made for us is scary isn't it?

Is Choice Something We Really Have?

Choices.

Lots of people talk about having the freedom to make choices. Free will and all.

But do we really?

It seems to me that choices are dictated to us. That we are boxed into making certain choices.

We spend a lot of time saying we "choose" this or that in our lives, but our "choices" are based (read: dictated) by our past experiences, income, time, energy, materials, environment, other people, what we have and don't have, likes and dislikes, events, circumstances, limitations, and fear.

I "choose" to work because the alternative is not having an income. I'd much rather stay home and read books, but if I want paid vacations, money to buy books, and the income to provide the roof over my head while taking those vacations and reading those books, I am boxed into working.

I "choose" certain things at the grocery store. Sure there are other things I'd rather buy but pricing boxes me into buying less preferred brands or items.

I "chose" to have three cats. I'd like to "choose" not to scoop the poop every damn morning and clean up cat yarf, but I'm boxed into "choosing to do so as I do not "choose" to live in a dirty home or have sick cats.

I could "choose" not to shovel my driveway, but then I can't get the car out. So I have to shovel if I want to go to work to get my paycheck which pays for the car and the garage for the car, not to mention the damn shovel.

To be healthy, I "choose" to count calories (although I'd MUCH rather "choose" to eat any damn thing in any amount I want) and go to the doctor's and dentist's. I did not "choose" to have a dentist phobia, but I have one and it dictated "choosing" not to go for 13 years until I made the "choice" to go to prevent a nightmare in the mouth - boxed in on both sides by my fear - to go means bad things, to not go means worse things.

Oh, I know, those Freedom spouters will say that I can "choose" not to work, I can "choose" not to have the car or the house or the books, I can "choose" to live without obligations - homeless, on Welfare shooting out babies that the State pays for, having taxpayers who "chose" to have jobs and homes pay for me to "choose" not to, I can "choose" to let all my teeth rot out to never ever go to the dentist again, I can "choose" to eat junk day in and day out and eventually "choose" killing myself with obesity related health issues.

But are those REALLY choices?

I read recently in one of my myriad of speculative non-fiction books, The ESP Reader edited by David C. Knight, that "[the Other side has] a steadfast refusal to give advice or opinions on matters of our everyday lives. The argument seemed to be that everyday life is a series of opportunities for making decisions; that those decisions form character; that making another man's decisions for him deprives him unwarrantedly of opportunity." (substitute choices for decisions)

On the surface this seems to be saying we do have free choice. Look and think a little deeper and "everyday life" becomes the box.

I don't know that I'm trying to actually SAY anything and I know my examples are not the best, but I've been thinking about this for a while now and a blog is a journal where you can type/write out your thoughts to see if you can disentangle them, clarify them, come up with some sort of perspective or point that makes sense out of the whirl.

Especially since we don't actually really CHOOSE our president. Now I've raised some points.

Project Runway in Nutshell #9

Heidi told our intrepid designers that Tim was taking them on a field trip.

Christian was less then thrilled to be going to a borough of NYC.

Designers arrived at the New York Port Authority and watched a slowly rising garage door.

Inside were clotheslines full of jeans. I was totally expecting something waste managment-like, would have made for a funner show.

Challenge: design an iconic denim look that is original and creative and they have until midnite.

They had three minutes to grab and fill a laundry bag full of denim and white cotton.

Poor Chris, I bet he was having flashbacks from almost passing out on the first show's fabric race in the park.

Back in the workroom, Viewers were treated to editor's choice tidbits of smack-talkin' Christian targeting first one person then another. When he finally left the room, Chris said someone should give Christian a bottle and send him to bed. Jillian practically wet her pants laughing.

Tim swanned through, being "blown away" or handing out razzes.

Jillian, again with the time management issues and riding the emotional rollercoaster, has a mini breakdown and was simultaneously sewing and crying and bleeding "from sticking the tips of her fingers repeatedly". Rami and Christian helpfully pointed out she needs to just suck it up, she knew what she was getting into when she signed up for this boat.

Runway Day: Heidi let designers know immunity will no longer be an option for winners.

On the runway with their designs and models
Praised: Christian, Rami, Ricky (who cried coz he didn't suck), and Sweet P
Bashed: Chris, Jillian, and Victorya

Judges views thru the Slambo filter: It's the Ricky they've been waiting for - he finally stepped away from the babydoll, Christian was the only one who sent out a new jean design - spray painted denim with sleeves for pant legs, Sweet P made a dress-it-up-or-down dress with the "slimming voodoo" magic any woman can wear and love - she'd have been bashed if Tim hadn't knocked the hippieness of her original that made her change direction, and Rami finally made something different that didn't involve the DRAPE. Jillian made an unflattering denim marshmellow - the coat was an abysmal repeat of last week's design but cute sleeves tho, Chris contained his drag queenesque tendencies to his detriment, and Victorya shot herself in the foot when she said she took a jacket and just basically built a big butt skirt on it.

Winner: Ricky, who had to do a double take he didn't believe it.
Christian was totally pissed he didn't win again!
Auffed: Victorya, the trash bag trend is dead. Amen!

Cattraiture

Playing around with my camera. I love how these turned out. The tweaked color is because I was taking them in the bathroom. Gotta try this in natural light some time.

Inspiration is...

my mother, Wednesday's Child.

Last January my mom decided she was ready to make a lifestyle change. At first I had no idea, she kept her plans to herself and as she has mentioned in her blog, the changes did not show up at first although they were happening. But once the changes started being visual, Mom shared with me that she was cutting her calories and walking. My parents got Riley, the uberfabulous pup, shortly after the beginning of the lifestyle change who provided a much needed walking companion and incentive as he always wants and is ready for a walk.

I watched my mom be the incredible shrinking woman. She kept me posted of her progress and changes, how she wrote down and figured out the math of recipes, the things that no longer fit and fit again, creative ways to make 1200 calories be enough, how to avoid her favorite food bread, and by July she was tiny in my eyes. She told me she wasn't at her target yet, but I thought she looked simply amazing.

So I thought long and hard about what she was doing and how good she looked. And in July '07 I made a decision to make a lifestyle change myself. If Mom could do it, there was no reason I shouldn't. Laziness and whining about my own overweightness wasn't working and I was unhappy.

I had to be realistic about the change. Mom has much more time during the day to walk and she has Riley who needs to walk multiple times a day. Mom is also much more disciplined, more of a stickler for details, and she likes way more veggies than I do. She is also less dependent on sweets than I am. So I decided I would stay between 1200-1400 calories, record what I ate each day, and add walking to my day at work (by getting up after each page printed, walk across the office, across the hall, across the next office to the printer, and back to my desk).

I didn't notice changes right away either, but by the time I had my doctors' appts at the end of August, there were some changes. My clothes fit a little better and the scale at the drs were no longer where I started which was 190+ 2 or 3 pounds (and wearing size 14-16). Both of my doctors praised me for my start.

And while Mom kept on losing weight and looking better and better, I was too. Not as fast or as dramatic as her coz I wasn't staying right at 1200 and I wasn't walking nearly as much as her, but doing a decent job. I inspired a co-worker to make a life-style change of her own with the changes she noticed happening to me.

By Christmas '07, Mom was 70 pounds smaller and all of my What Not to Wear make over clothes that I'd bought for my birthday two Augusts ago were loose, I needed a belt for all of the bottoms, the belts I bought last May that I could wear on the last hole were now notched to the third and fourth hole depending on the jeans or skirt, dressy shoes from years ago fit again, and I felt better, more like myself in a long time.

My friend, J, came to visit around New Year's. She hadn't seen me since last Christmas and she was very very complimentary about the change in me. She said the last time she visited that she thought my "spark" was gone and I didn't seem happy. Now I had my "spark" back and seemed to be my old self again. So much so she dared me to go out for New Year's with her and her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend.

I said yes. Let the musical wardrobe begin. I have bins in the basement of clothes from my party era (and a little after) that didn't fit anymore pre-change, but I went down and tried a bunch of stuff on to come up with a confident "I feel good" outfit. I was surprised at some of the things that fit and some of the things that almost fit. I took a few of the fit things upstairs and tried them all on in front of the mirror. I ended up wearing a wonderful chenille AnnTaylor sweater with my favorite Gap low rise tightish (but appropriate tight, not sausage tight) jeans that make my legs look thinner than they are. The sweater hasn't been worn in years. It looked great. J thought I looked great, her daughter did too. I caught some guys staring at my ass. I had a wonderful time out.

Recently I've been feeling like I've not been doing a very good job with sticking to the lifestyle change but when I put my just-purchased size 12 EddieBauer low rise jeans on yesterday to go visit my friend J2, they were no longer TIGHT, but good. I just had to take pictures.

So here's me, about 30 pounds lighter, wearing size 12, and feeling much better about ME.

Thanks Mom, I wouldn't have done it if not for your wonderful example!

Yeah Me!

I love you, Mom!

It's A Miracle!

I've always wondered how I would react if a miracle happened to me.

Well, now I know. Oblivious and slightly cranky.

My vision is bad, almost legally blind in one eye and the other eye has an astigmatism that is not able to be completely corrected with contact lenses so it's vision is always slightly fuzzy and less than 20/20. This means the blind eye has to carry the burden of me seeing clear... I know what you're thinking and yeah, that's what I said to my eye doctor. And yes I'm safe to drive.

Back to the miracle.

I woke up this morning with a faint feeling of unease and like I had a random cat hair floating around in my eye socket. Not painful, just that something was slightly wrong. I greeted the cats and spent most of my time waking up and feeding them, trying unsuccessfully to remove the imaginary cat hair. I even attempted to take pictures of birds feeding at my feeders and saw a flock of cardinals (20 or so) flying in the sky in the direction of the sunrise. It was an amazing sight and I never even questioned it.

The actual impact of the miracle did not hit me until I finished making my lunch and was headed back to the bathroom to shower. Not being fully awake, it never even registered that...

I could see. I could SEE!!! NO squinting (like I'm doing now typing this with my nose glued to the monitor), no straining, no fuzziness, nothing but I could actually see things.

Then I realized I had forgotten to take my contacts out last night and that is why I experienced the miracle of sight this morning.

And the slight feeling of unease and crankiness and like something was wrong.

How ungrateful am I?

Now I have to spend all day in my glasses as penance for not fully appreciating the miracle that is nice vision.

Boohoo.

Project Runway in Nutshell #8

or Reject Runaway as I'd like to refer to this season.

Whine Whine Whine Argue Argue Argue Cry Cry Cry Ego Ego Ego

Boooooorrrrrriinngggg.

Challenge: design an avaunt garde outfit to match the "just been fucked" hairdo's on the models of their choice. 2 days to complete and they will be put into teams of 2. Tim's input: the design "doesn't have to be practical or even particularly wearable".

Challenge within a challenge: Designers are told by Tim on the 2nd day that they also need to design a garment that embodies the avaunt garde but translates into ready-to-wear. 1 day to complete and this was a complete surprise sprung on our hardy whiners, I mean, designers. Deswhigners "make it work"!

Teams: leaders named first

Kit and Ricky - sounds kinda Kicky but is actually quite sickly. Do = Flat-topped flipado, team dubbed it the birdnest

Rami and Sweet P - Control Freak versus Rebel Without a Clue. Do= Long red waves

Christian and Chris - dubbed themselves "Team Fierce". Do = Big ass bun (sort of like dog turds piled onto the back of the head)

Victorya and Jillian - or as I dubbed them "Team Vahjayjay". Do = Ponytail faux-hawk

As expected the soft voiced "Team Vahjayjay" spent the ENTIRE creative part of the show whining about time managment issues while they s.....l......o.....w.....l....y made a big long coat with tartan lining (J), riding pants (V), a top with bows over the butt (V), and Jillian scraped the ready-to-wear "little black" dress together in 2 hours on the last day while their models were haired and make-upped.

"Team Fierce" went all out with a flesh colored chiffon layer upon layer upon layer cake with a ruff the size of Chris and little ruffled ready-to-wear top the size of Christian aka "Fierosh". Hard to tell where one left off and the other began, they giggled so much.

Kit and Ricky were in ecstasies over creating a hoop-skirted dress with a barely there top to match their model's barely there breasts with a little ready-to-wear apron dress complete with pockets.

Rami and Sweet P spent the ENTIRE creation part of the show in a power struggle. Rami insisted on Sweet P not messing with his been-there-done-that draped number (R) over black Depends-accomodating pants (SP) for the avaunt garde look and made her cry with his overbearing ways, but she got her own back by taking complete charge of the little ready-to-wear pleaty grey number.

Highest were Teams "Fierce" and "Vahjayjay" - both were praised excessively and Victorya pointed out her team should win as they actually made 3 looks. Eye rolls of disgust all around I'm sure, as their ready-to-wear dress was totally pulled out of Jillian's butt at the VERY last minute.

Lowest were Teams "Kicky but Sickly" and "Conflict" - Sweet P actually was kudoed for her little dress, Rami totally knocked for being a one-note designer (yet he stays, like a bad rash), Ricky once again knocked for being disappointing and amateurish, and Kit knocked for execution and cheapiness.

Winner: Christian

Team "Fierce" aka, C&C Design Factory were featured with their dresses in a Tresemme ad in Elle magazine.

Auffed: Kit, surely for her execution issues which Nina and the guest judge spent a lot of time pointing out.

Ricky in again by the skin of his teeth and his teariness was edited out but shown in the preview of this episode. I hate when they do that.

How Uncouth Am I?

Well, I'll tell you how abysmally unladylike I've been.

Shoveling mid-calf high snow last night from my driveway was tough going.

Not only was I bundled up like a toddler with 4 layers on top (T-shirt, long sleeve shirt, sweatshirt, windbreaker, and winter pullover) and 3 layers on bottom (long undies, sweatpants, and snowpants) but I had ski socks on, two sets of mittens, a neck gator, a fleece headband, and a hat.

So saying I was warm while heaving snow would be an understatement. But taking off a layer was not okay because it was 9:00pm (and I shoveled until 11:00pm), the wind was blowing, and the windchill factor was in play. And I don't participate in the Frostbite Games.

So anyway, being all warm and physically active meant my nose was running to beat the band.

With two sets of mittens on, fine motor skills were nonexistant. Opening my front pocket, getting the paper towel out, and positioned over my nose was not happening.

What did I do? (Coz traipsing into the house every 5 minutes was not an option.)

I put my mittens along side my nose and BLEW into the piles on either side of my driveway. Effectively solving my problem.

Sort of like hawking a loogie from my nostrils if you will.

Thank goodness the neighbor walking his dog passed by before I had my brainwave.

Ladylike? Absolutely not.

Did it do the job? Yes indeedy do!

Cardinals Abound in Nor'easter!

I'm working from home today due to the Nor'easter that's snowing it's way through today. Started at 6am and has been going strong ever since. These cardinal pictures were taken on my "lunch" break. Most of them unfortunately are a wee bit blurry, but they are pretty nonetheless. And multiple cardinals too!

I'm so looking forward to all the shoveling I get to do tonight. Hopefully the snow will continue to be light and fluffy, which will make it easier on my back, legs, and arms. We'll see. The plow has been by twice and I have a lovely large pile at the end of my driveway.

The cats are all bestirred, not one of them has taken an extended nap due to me being home and on the work laptop so they are awake and cranky/needy. They have to be a part of every little thing. Doodle has to be all over the phone while I'm on it. Moomin can't decide if the laptop is a great big new toy or his new best friend to lay on. And Hobbes is scared of the laptop. They thought it was time for them to eat when I had my lunch. Hopefully we'll all be back on track tomorrow. I need a break from having butts in my face!

Project Runway in Nutshell #7

I have to be honest, I did not look forward to watching tonight's episode and then nutshelling about it. This season is so NOT GOOD at all and it's hard to whip up enthusiastically witty, catty, and funny blog posts.

But, this episode had some funny moments... especially Chris' portfolio of himself decked out in his majestic drag queen creations with the gigantic enormous breasticles, and his "client" and her mother had no idea it was him in the photos, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Challenge: to design a prom dress for Catholic school girls with Britney "Hit Me Baby One More Time" Spears aspirations.

All the school girls got to pick who they wanted to be their designer based on looking at their portfolios.

Christian was picked by the very antithesis of his tall thin hot Asian Barbie doll - a short, strongly opinionated, large and in charge black girl. I believe this is his Kharmic beeyotch slap! She took the pencil from him and sketched on his design. She told him she wanted lace, gold, jewels, and for the dress to be brown. She wanted this, that, and the other and basically railroaded him. "I'm very scared", "I want to cry", and "I'm so not feeling fierce right now" wailed Pipsqueak.

Victorya's "client", ironically enough, admitted she'd gotten last choice which was Victorya. Hmmmm...

Chris asked his "client" why she picked him and she said she wanted someone who would make her stand out and an outfit that would "pop". As they were collaborating, he asked her if she wanted a low front or a low back. She responded "both" which sent Chris straight into a giggle fit.

Ricky's de rigeur (sp?) teary moment came when he talked about his mother while we watched him rapid fire foreign language speak with his mother via cell phone.

Tim cautioned designers to keep their integrity when dealing with pushy school girls and the day ended with Christian pathetically stating "I can't let a 17 year old overpower me." even tho she could pick him up and WWF him but good.

The next day, most of the designers were wearing Doubting Thomas hats and second guessing their dress designs, especially Victorya and Christian.

Surprise!!! Tim brought in the models AND their mothers for a final fitting.

Christian got his comeuppance between his "client" and her mother. If you are going to act "all big n' stuff", you better have the filling to keep yourself big. Christian popped like blow-up doll! When Tim came around for his visit and expressed how concerned he was, Christian took the opportunity to wallow in the biggest pity party pool ever! And Tim metaphorically slapped him on his little baby bottom and basically told him to suck it up and move on. Right on!

As he had immunity, Rami pleased himself with a god awful green and matronly drape.

Victorya decided to make yet another trash bag, but in bright blue with a bib of fake gems.

Kevin decided not to hem against Chris' sage advice.

Runway Day

Highest:
Sweet P (!!) who did design and make a nice dress. Charmeuse is such a pretty fabric when it moves. How could you go wrong with that fabric for a choice unless you butchered it? And Sweet P didn't. The judges were all googly about it but I thought she had execution issues around the sides of the boobies - I saw some gaping there that'd cause big issues on the dance floor although her date wouldn't mind.
Victorya (!!!OMG!!!) who designed a big blue be-gemmed trash bag. The judges were all "it's so modern, fun, young, cute, blah blah blah". What have they been smoking when it comes to her designs? Flattering? NO WAY. Modern? NO WAY unless she's tryng to start a new trend for us to go out and buy Hefty bags, cut a hole in the bottom, stick our heads thru hole, and gather up the tops around midthigh and knot them in place with the ties. Fun? NO WAY unless we are practicing getting asphixiation buzzes.

Lowest: 4 of them this time 'round,
One of which was Rami with his baby-poop-green drapey matronly dress but he had immunity so he didn't go.
Kevin with his cheap insta-aging non-hemmed halter-topped red affair.
Ricky with his skin-tone-colored bubble-skirted baby doll dress with the rhinestone trim.
Christian with his lacey brown mess of a dress.

Kevin knocked for not hemming.
Christian knocked for throwing his "client" under the bus and blaming her for the disaster he made.
Ricky knocked for washing his "client" out and falling short of the mark yet again.
Rami knocked for pleasing himself.

Winner: Victorya and her trash bag - how could we not have guessed this outcome??!!

Auffed: Kevin who put a "straight" spin on his leaving by saying hugging Heidi was worth it.
Christian had a large helping of humble pie stuffed into his gullet. Question is, will he learn from this? Probably not.
Ricky teary-eyed again.

The Ugly Side of Snow

I have no where else to put it and it's getting harder and harder to fling the shoveled snow over the tall banks on either side of the driveway. The lilac placement isn't helping any either!

Let's hope the predicted "January Thaw" comes so I will be able to cope for the rest of the winter's snowstorms!

Project Runway in Nutshell #6

Or "The Field Trip Episode".

Morning.

Kevin feeling the lack of Steven.

Christian was not.

Jillian channeled the '80's with shorts with black tights underneath.

Model Repick: 2 to go this time.

Christian went for a change.

Sweet P not picked last and almost has a conniption.

Rami made a change too.

Ricky made a "difficult" decision which he was able to do w/out crying.

Heidi said they were going on a field trip the next day and to rest up.

Next morning.

Tim is an impeccable and cheerful alarm clock.

Kit is not.

Plenty of shots promoting good dental hygiene.

Field trip was to Times Square, specifically the Hershey's store.

Challenge: create an outfit of their choice using items from the Hershey's store as raw materials.

Condition 1: 5 minutes to fill shopping bags with whatever can grab.

Condition 2: only one day to complete the design.

Chris grabbed all the pillows as "he's worked with food before" and it's more trouble than it's worth.

Jillian grabbed all the Twizzlers she could lay her hands on (she's not learned what Chris has).

Christian grabbed all the Reese's PB cups he could lay his little effeminate hands on.

Commercial: Santino in various disturbingly fakeish roles - pimpy, professorial, preachy, and B-Boy - and incongruously driving a Saturn.

Back in the workroom everyone was working on getting a sugar high.

Montage of Elise working while sitting on the floor, sitting on the table, sitting on her mannequin as her voice-over relates her car accident story (Miss Crunchy Granola was hit by a Porshe of all the materialistic things, why not a Volvo?).

Christian finished early and acted sugar drunk and ego driven for the rest of the evening.

Everyone experienced the eventual sugar crash, especially Sweet P.

Tim's visit.
Told Rami Jillian was his target customer.
Told Victorya her white was not effective.
Told Elise she needed to "wow" him.
Told Jillian to watch her time.
Told Sweet P her skirt looked like a coffee filter or a Maxi pad.

Runway Day.

Models came in, initial fittings, Jillian's model hunkered down with needle and thread in the spirit of "I sink or swim with you", hair, make-up, final fittings, Jillian's dress is on her model.

Commercial: as a nod to PR's "boys", the Levi's 501 guy pulls up his jeans and instead of a girl all gift-wrapped up in a telephone booth, it's a guy instead and they exchange languishing glances at each other. Too bad the jean-puller-upper guy's languishing glance segment is the exact same as the commercial with the girl, kinda kills the effect they were going for.

Runway and judging.

Victorya's model did this weird stick-up-her-butt-music-box-prance that was V's idea.

All the models seemed to enjoy their outfits.

Ricky, Christian, Kevin, Kit safe.

Christian peeved he wasn't in the top three or the winner.

Top three:

Rami: used York Peppermint Patties wrappers for his skirt - told his outfit had charm, spirit, and fit.

Jillian: used Twizzlers for bodice detailing and fringe on skirt - told her outfit was playful, sexy, and deliciously chic. N = "Hard work shows!" J = "She smells delicious too."

Chris: used Hershey pillow fabric - told his outfit was a smart editing choice (coz he could have given them a parade float) and had good texture.

Bottom three:

Elise: used brown velvet and silver water wings - told her outfit was boring, no joy, and a flea market find.

Victorya: (FINALLY) used white ruffles with a smidge of silver - told her outfit was also joyless, not fanciful or wearable and she was knocked for her model's stupid walk.

Sweet P: silver schmear on top of a Maxi pad - told her outfit was also boring and looked like she threw it together.

Winner: Rami

Auffed: Elise (who sat on the table to pack up her stuff and said this experience will "fortify" her work)

In: Sweet P, seriously!!??

Previews for next week's show - surprise, Ricky cries!